2015

May the New Year 2015 bring you peace, health, happiness and prosperity! As far as New Year resolutions, mine last about 1 minute, but right at the top is compassion, understanding and closeness to my 70 year old husband, listening better and eating cleanly beginning Jan 2nd.

A Journey of Changes and Challenges

Today at church, the presider told a story of a couple married 28 years who are dealing with memory loss. Brain tumors have caused the memory loss similar to stage 2 Alzheimer's. The couple has decided that their goal is to stay together. My husband and I have been married almost 40 years (in April). He is 7 years older than me. He deals with heart disease, arthritis, aches, pains, shortness of breath, hearing impairment, tiredness and memory loss. I was speaking with someone and he immediately recognized that my husband's lack of hearing and the misunderstandings caused by it and other issues make me angry. And once my situation was recognized, I was and am at peace. It is difficult to adjust to the changes that advancing years bring on. So today at church I heard, "that marriage is a journey of changes and challenges. I am trying to be understanding, helpful, supportive, anticipatory and loving as I continue on this marriage journey of changes and challenges.

Getting the hang of trotting

Last Tuesday, clouds low in the sky, I drove to the stable. I brought homemade sugar cookies and a candy cane for my riding instructor, and carrots, apple and a candy cane for Tamarra, my mare (well, not my mare, but the horse I ride.) I rode around the arena a few times, making sure to keep the horse's nose to the wall when another horse trotted past. I practiced trotting at the end of a lunge rope, and I balanced pretty well, and had a fun and productive lesson. Ha! I had to stop at the store for butter and flowers and other items. It was the Tuesday before Christmas, so the lines were long, but I managed to get out in record time. My husband, two of the three daughters, and one of three sons attended the Christmas Eve service. On Christmas morning the entire family of eight was together to open gifts and share a big breakfast. We then went to my parents to spend a few hours and share a meal. No Christmas is perfect. The cat had an accident on the boxes containing my son's gifts. Fortunately nothing was ruined. And after celebrating Christmas and enjoying some wine, my son and daughter thought it would be a good idea to change their Dad's TV program which sent him stomping down the stairs in fury. Today I am tired, but took down the Christmas ornaments and decorations at the store and packed them away. Had to deal with an irritating customer. She came in to pick up an order and when I went to get it, she said "What's that? What's the name on it?" For her wedding enjoyment, I hope she mellows out before the ceremony, otherwise she is not going to have a good time. Trying to begin eating healthy again--hope to have a glucose check the first part of February.

Scooter 2, a wild cat

For the past few weeks, I have been feeding a stray cat that is wandering the neighborhood. Every morning, Scooter 2 waits in a little lump on the other side of the fence. Normally, I feed the cat 9 Lives, but one day I was out of cat food, so came with a can of tuna. Once I opened the can, the cat danced around, tentatively came near, and couldn't wait to dip into the fish. She still frightens easily if I change positions. Last year, my husband brought home Scooter 1 (all our wild cats are Scooters). Scooter wintered with us and then took off once the weather became warm. So, I hope Scooter 2 will trust me and let me pet her, learn that humans can be good cat people. It will take a lot of patience and hard work.

Difficult customer

At work, I went into the back to wash my hands and headed into the office to heat the clam chowder in the microwave. I came out of the office with the chowder a couple minutes later to discover a customer standing at the counter! She told me that "you walked right by me! and I wondered if you can hear." I honestly didn't see or hear her or I wouldn't have walked by her. She wanted to look at funeral arrangements, so I brought our website up. Of course twice she told me that I was scrolling too fast. I forgot the scripts on the order and had to reprint the receipts. She complained about the difficulty getting into the flower shop. I turned down the radio and am staying up front so I can see if a customer comes in. However it is necessary to go into the office periodically and there is always the chance someone could come in.

Enjoying the Christmas Season!

My daughter flew in for one night to attend her best friend's wedding. They have been friends since they were six years old. She is in charge of decorations so tomorrow around 3pm, she will pick up 10 small and 6 poinsettias from the flower shop. So far this Christmas season, I have had lunch with my hair stylist and my friend who lives in the group home. I have attended various church services. I sent out Christmas cards, shopped online, wrapped some gifts. I put up the outside Christmas lights and set up and decorated the Christmas tree. I also decorated the living room. After spending an hour setting up my winter village, enjoyed it for three seconds, then have the entire village in disarray due to a feline, I decided on an alternative plan. I set up various mementos from the various countries my family has visited--France, England, Spain, Germany, Italy, Costa Rica, Korea, Japan and Peru, and placed them about the room with a note "Merry Christmas" in the language. I placed a small vase in the flower shop with the handmade bookmarks made by my friend. I sold two of them today. The money will be used for her trip to Frankenmuth with the club.

Guests went home

All our company has left. My daughter headed up to university this morning. She is not feeling well--temperature and cough so was considering visiting the clinic. A short reprieve from guests as the semester will be over in a week or so. My son and his friend visited both sides of the family and had a work reunion from back in the day. He saw 50 relatives and 20 friends. I am tired today as I fell asleep early last night, then woke about 11:30 pm. I didn't fall asleep until 2 or so. Morning came early. It will be good to get back on track--walking the dogs and counting carbs. I have been eating cookies and candy canes.

Guests

Today, my daughter who is visiting and I drove out to the stable to ride. She has not been astride a horse since she was a girl almost 20 years ago. I groomed and saddled Tamarra and then she rode, first along the rail and then performed some figure eights. I trotted at the end of the lunge rope trying to improve my posting and get my legs in the proper position. We spent a happy time visiting with my instructor's father and my instructor. Later in the evening, I made a Thanksgiving meal for my husband and me, my daughter and son. We had macaroni and white cheese, brussel sprouts with raisin and turkey bacon, lettuce salad with cheddar cheese, tomato and egg, clementines with green celery and delicious plain yogurt topped with raspberries and chocolate. For dessert, mini chocolate eclairs. Then my son headed home to rest and my daughter drove to a winter choral concert.

An Unbelievable Sweet Tooth

The last few weeks, I have been unable to resist eating sugary treats. I ate candy bars on Halloween, enjoyed cookies and candy at the store Holiday Open House, nibbled on chocolate chip cookies and lemon meringue pie. I have no discipline to resist mouth watering sweet desserts! However, much to my dismay, I find when I eat carbs and sugar that 1. My mood fluctuates and I get snippy, 2. My blood pressure goes up. 3. If I eat chocolate, I have heartburn, 4. I'm hungry because the highs and lows trigger hunger, and 5. My weight goes up. I watched my carbs today and I feel so much better.

Getting in the holiday spirit

I had planned to take a riding lesson yesterday and then since I was near my hair stylist's get my hair cut for the holidays. However, it was too cold to ride, so I canceled my lesson. I drove to my friend's house and she dyed and cut my hair. We ate lunch together and chatted. About this time, I should pencil in church services, work, hoi jeon moo sool and family events on my calender. Two of my daughters arrive home on Monday. Next week Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, I will be at my husband's family reunion at my nephew's house. About 25 of the relatives will be there. We drive about 40 miles to my nephew's large historic home. He has enough room to seat everyone and for us to spread out. Truthfully, after a couple hours, I am ready to leave and come home. Have had my fill of food, family and football. On Sunday, my side of the family is having a fall get together. It will be at my sister's bounce zone so that the children can play. It is a potluck with everyone bringing a dish to share and their own drinks. A chance to wish the family a happy holiday. I have gone to the store and looked at LED lights and Christmas trees that are pre lit and can be programmed with an I phone. A little too pricey, so we will probably make do with the old. Have to figure out where to place my winter village and Nativity set, out of harm's way. The young cat pulled down the tablecloth under the Nativity last year and Grandma's hand painted ceramic pieces crashed to the ground. Fortunately, her pieces were unbroken, but my pieces were damaged and had to be glued. So I need to figure out a safe place to put them. Just part of getting organized for the holidays.

"Uno!"

Last night, I was training in martial arts and the master asked us to count off! Now the language of choice is Korean and I was the first, so I should have said, "Hana." However, wouldn't you know, that neither "hana" nor "one" came out. No indeed I proudly said "Uno!" Now where that came from I have no idea. And of course, do you think I could come up with the Korean word for one? I drew a blank. Oh well... Finally, after 12 days, the electric range technician came out and let me know that the bottom coil was "blown." I could see that for myself. The bottom line is $69.95 for the diagnosis, between $50 and $80 for the part, and I believe he said "$44.95" for installation. He also noticed that the oven was beginning to rust allowing heat to escape into the range wall, and that it would have to be replaced in the next couple years. It made more sense to drive to the home improvement store and purchase a new range which will be delivered on Saturday. We are having a pre holiday sale this Saturday, so we are working like beavers to get the store ship-shape. It's a tad early to be thinking of Christmas, although I did enjoy browsing the LED lights, pre lit Christmas trees and Christmas villages at the store yesterday. Today, is my lit'l sis' 55th birthday! I gave her a fern and schefflera as a house warming gift for the new martial arts venue. Figure it will provide warmth and good luck!

Willie Nelson

Last week, I happened to read an article in AARP about country singer, Willie Nelson. I was amazed that at age 81, he just received his 5th dan in a form of martial arts. The news came at an opportune time because I had been seriously considering retiring from hoi jeon moo sool. Not because I'm frustrated, I am not, but because I feel I am frustrating my instructor. who is also my brother-in-law. I have difficulty with concepts and visualization and performing techniques. My brother-in-law has tried several different ways to help me improve. And as I told my dad, even as I struggle to improve, I am getting older and less able to jump and do other things. Struggling with the decision to retire, I had cut two identical pieces of paper, writing an "S" on one for stay, and a "Q" on the other for quit. Highly scientific, I know. However, I got the paper with the "S" and then read about Willie Nelson and getting his 5th dan. Now, maybe it will never happen that I am awarded my black belt. But I did achieve the two goals I had set for myself--compete in a tournament and win a medal during my training in hoi jeon moo sool. And most of the time, I enjoy class, except when my brother-in-law says "You always act like you don't know the techniques. Visualize the attack." It bothers me because each class is a new and different day, and perhaps this will be the day that I perform a technique five times correctly without erring, or a light bulb goes off in my head, and I actually do visualize a technique. It is much better to think, "This time I made a mistake," not "Every time I perform 16 low blocks, I err on block 5!" Those thoughts become self fulfilling. Ask any basketball player who misses each and every free throw.

"Thank you for singing so courageously!"

Early this morning, I awoke to the tune "Worn Out." I had set the alarm so that I could attend the 7am church service. There are not many people out and about in the darkness of the early morning. I can sit and ponder my own thoughts or sit in peace without any thoughts at all. The service is familiar and includes much singing. We began by singing, "All Creatures of our God and King!" I must say that so early in the morning my voice is raspy, probably too much sleeping. But about halfway through the service, my voice came into its own. I was gathering my things to leave when the woman behind me asked how my parents are doing. It seems that she used to sit behind them in church. Shortly after, the presider came and shook her hand and then shook my hand and said, "I just want to thank you for singing so courageously!" It warmed my heart. Perhaps the raspiness of my voice was offset by my enthusiasm and love of music!

An Emotional Disaster

Since Wednesday, I have been in turmoil, trying to decide if I want to continue training in hoi jeon moo sool and riding. I was very emotional after last Wednesday's class. My instructor has deferred to another instructor, and he is a tough taskmaster and hard to understand. We do kicking drills for one hour, and I do not do kicking techniques well. On that particular day, no one welcomed to the class, the majority of the students were male black belts and the techniques were difficult. By the time, we separated to practice hoi jeon moo sool, I was an emotional wreck which meant I could not perform the techniques. My instructor berated me. I left the floor after we bowed out, only to discover that the hoi jeon moo class had continued. The other master reprimanded me because not knowing the class had started, I got ready to go home. I stayed for the class, but mulled over the disaster of a class, trying to decide if I wanted to continue training. I thought it a good idea to talk to my instructor before making a decision. He encouraged me to give the kicking class more time and the other instructor said she would interpret for me. Overall the class went better, and I feel that I can train for a bit before making a decision. My instructor said I can always talk to them. To me that is a given--if I have an issue, I am going to make it known. The decision about hoi jeon moo sool spilled over into my riding class. I haven't been to the stable for a riding lesson in three weeks, and the unpredictability of my horse, Tamara, has amplified in my mind. So, I seriously considered canceling my riding lessons also, along with discontinuing the hoi jeon moo sool. However, after last evening, when the adrenaline level was lower, the techniques more understandable, and feeling connected, I came home in a more peaceful mood. I really do enjoy driving to the stable and spending time with my riding instructor and my horse. I continue to count calories and carbs, and so far I have lost 16 lbs. Basically eating vegetables and lean meat or fish, with some fruit and dairy. If I want a dessert, I have lemon tea and a cinnamon graham cracker. Yes, I slip up and eat tostitos or small candies, but generally, I adhere to the life style. I'm half-way to my goal. Another 13-17 lbs, and I will weigh between 124 and 128 which will put me at a normal BMI. My instructor says to increase the intensity of my exercise. I have never put much intensity into a workout.

Finally!

I have been for a physical, bone scan, mammogram and finally today, I had a dentist appointment. I do not have to go anywhere medical for six months! Happy smile! It happens that my dental hygienist is counting carbs too--no bread, pasta, rice, cookies, candy, hehe. Sound familiar? The last few weeks have been easier. I am not as depressed about my restrictive diet. I am not hungry because my sugar level is staying stable. I am appreciating the taste, texture and colors of food more. A good thing. I walk the dogs every day, and when I can, I increase my walking to 10,000 steps. Our route takes us past the pizza shop and the fried chicken restaurant. I inhale and enjoy the aromas and imagine how the food tastes. Then I come home and make lentil soup and a crisp salad of mustard, kale and spinach! :)

My day off

The branch manager took her last vacation of the year, so I worked for her, at the stores 11 days straight. So my boss gave me the day off! I had hoped to sleep in, but the cord to my tablet was not plugged in. Around 4am, I woke to the low battery chirp of the device. I plugged the computer in, let the dog out, and then lay down only to be thinking, thinking, thinking of incidents from 10 years prior! Water under the bridge! I got up at 6am, got ready for the day, and then realized that everything was just too much, so took a nap from 8am-11am. I didn't feel too well when I awoke, but eventually I vacuumed the carpet, and took the two dogs about the city. Maui chased after squirrels, and Pudge sniffed every good scent for blocks. At home, I gave the dogs a bath, changed the pine bedding in Jeffrey's rabbit cage. Made a mustard, spinach, kale salad and burger for lunch. My instructor canceled my riding lesson for tomorrow, and I have an appointment the week after, so can't ride until the 21st. The clouds came in hiding the sun, but I feel blessed to have three days off with my only commitment my hoi jeon mool sool classes.

Encouraging myself

I am making progress on my carb, calorie, calcium counting diet. To date I have lost 12 lbs, and would like to lose 18 more, at a weight of 128. I will then be in a normal weight category on the BMI index. I do not seem to be hungry and my moods have stabilized. I did some research today and discovered that green leafy vegetables, oranges and fatty fish can fight depression and keep me happy. Other things can too such as saffron and St John's Wort. I won't bother with those. So I am making some progress on my life-style changes. My doctor wants me to go for a glucose test in February, but I am considering using my mother's glucose meter to get a reading sooner. I give myself a pep talk. "I don't want to take diabetes meds. My moods don't swing. I'm fortunate to have a conscientious doctor. I am blessed. Enjoy walking the dogs around the city or the school. Kale, orange and sunflower seeds and microwaveable egg whites in a mug are treats to savor. Be happy!"

Fall

As much as I refuse to acknowledge it, October begins today and the leaves on the trees are turning and falling. A constant battle to keep the deck swept so that humans, dogs, and cats do not track leaves into the house! On the carb, calorie, calcium count, it's "same old, same old." I began on August 20, took a slight break while we were up north, and then began again...so it's been 41 days or 6 weeks. To date, I have lost 11 pounds, but my BMI is 27.8 or so, still up there. My goal is 128 pounds. Like I wrote in my last post, I am sick to death of eating healthy. Give me a 1 pound box of chocolates. I have been walking 10,000 steps every day and attending the kickfit classes. I've discovered that I love fresh kale with half an orange and sunflower seeds topped with red wine vinegar and olive oil! Pretty and delicious. I am working for the manager of the branch store. She is on vacation and when I am finished, I will work 11 days straight.

Hope to exercise more often

Ugh! I am so tired of eating healthy! Several times this week, I have gobbled chips, candy and delicious creme filled orange cupcakes. This, in spite of the fact that the healthy eating has helped lower my blood pressure. Back on track so far today...apple cinnamon oatmeal with soy milk for breakfast, a deli chicken cheese on multigrain and a kale-orange-sunflower seed salad for lunch. I have been walking both at the store and at night with my dogs. And...on Monday the kickfit classes begin at the dojang. Classes are offered Monday through Thursday, and I'm hoping to attend them all! The school is moving much closer to my house, so I'm hoping to kickfit often.

Bruised

Busy day yesterday! After canceling my test two times (because I worked and had to go to my uncle's funeral), I finally, finally was able to have a mammo. Once at home, the dogs and I walked around the city, probably about one mile. Someone was fascinated to see a long hair mini dachsund, but Maui wasn't so happy to see him. Ruf! Ruf! Ruf, Ruf Ruf! And here's the clinker. I really want her to bark at people that approach, especially since I will be walking the dogs in the dark soon, and I need them to ward off anyone that gets too close. I then took my friend out for lunch ($29) and then over to the store to buy chips and diet pop ($8). Good thing I only do this a few times a year! I drove over to my Dad's house to meet my daughter. She brought her new used (2011) car over to show my mother. We wheeled my mother out of the house and she checked out the engine, trunk, seats and driver's seat. We visited for a bit, and then we went home and I made tacos for dinner. I had sparring and class, so after dinner, I headed off to the dojang. Sparring ended prematurely when I took a low side kick to the pelvis. I have a huge bruise and I am extremely sore. My master asked me if I was "taking it like a man." I guess, but I'd rather take a head kick. I wear a helmet. So, I'm at work, hobbling around, although I did walk the prescribed 10,000 steps. My daughter, her husband, my son and another friend are heading to Detroit to a preseason Wings game. And congratulations Tigers on landing a wildcard spot!

Misjudged

Well, I misjudged my husband. We have been using one car because my daughter's car is totaled. Turns out that no mechanic will fix it. When he came to pick me up from work, he told me about the car and listed three options as to how to get rid of it. I was rather bent out of shape because I thought he had told everyone but me (it is my car). At the end of the evening, I was listening to the voice messages and lo and behold I heard him start..."Bad news about the car." So he had tried to tell me, but I didn't listen to any phone messages. So I misjudged him and consequently had a lonely, stressful evening. My daughter has done some preliminary searching, and once my father is back from the memorial service out of state, he and she will go look at cars. I wish I could go to the Memorial to visit with my relatives. What could I say when my dad said, "What are we going to do about mother?" My husband says that bearing responsibility is a characteristic of first-borns, and he would know as he had to care for his mother too. Very busy at work. Homecoming is tomorrow and we have lots of orders for corsages and boutonierres.

A Good Day

My daughter needs to rent an auto dolly to tow her car to the repair shop. She had taken the car to an Auto Shop where she lives, but the mechanic refused to look at it, telling her, "that she needs to look for another car." We want a second opinion, so are hauling it 40 miles or so to our trusted mechanic. If he says it is not worth fixing, then we will hunt for a new car. After work, I walked our two dogs. People seem to delight in watching the puggle and mini dachsund trotting down the sidewalk. We did the city route today, west on our street, north at the light, east and then south to our house. My friend was across the street, just leaving work, and wanted to know what I was doing. So across 5 lanes of traffic, I introduced her to my dogs. It was hoi jeon sool night, and the master reiterated how "my body doesn't do what my brain tells it," not in a mean way and besides it is true. Late this month, the school is moving closer to my house and revamping the schedule. I will participate in a 45 minute kickfit class with exercises and diet journals and then 45 minutes of hoi jeon moo sool. Both tae kwon do and hoi jeon moo sool adult students will train at the same time, dividing into groups by discipline. I am looking forward to seeing other students!

Peaceful and happy

Today, I decided to restart my walking campaign--10,000 steps every day. And as I walked, I realized how blessed I am. Presently, I feel rested, peaceful and fulfilled. I see that France won the basketball game with Lithuania. My college football is winning though the quarterback just threw his second interception. I am praying for those I love that they too will be blessed. I hope that my dad, sister and brother have a safe and meaningful trip to Florida for the Memorial service for my aunt. I pray that my mother will do well with her caregivers and me while my dad is gone. I hope that my daughter and her husband build a strong marriage. I pray that my son finds a second job to help with his financial difficulties.

Rest in peace, sweet aunt.

We received the call yesterday afternoon, that my aunt died. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer in mid July. Hospice nurses helped with her care, and she died at home. She and my uncle had four sons...one passed away twenty or so years ago. He was the oldest grandchild on my dad's side of the family and he and I were very close. I would spend a week during Christmas vacation at his house while I was growing up. The memorial service for my aunt is next Saturday, out of state. My dad, brother, sister, aunt and uncle are flying to Florida, but I will not be going as I need to stay home and care for my mother. Someone needs to be with her at all times due to her immobility and dementia. My preference would be to attend my aunt's service and visit with my cousins. And am I resentful? Of course, but I am not going to harass my 89 year old father who is grieving and scared to death of flying. This is the third member of my family that I have lost in a month. My 59 year old cousin died unexpectedly of lung cancer, my 83 year old uncle died in late August and now my aunt on 9-11. I am of an age where the elder generation is passing away. I am staying faithful to my low carb, 1200 calorie, including 1200 mgs of calcium diet. I quickly lost 8 lbs. due to the glycogen and water, but now I am at a plateau. Been reading about weight loss plateaus, and need to up the ante on my aerobic exercise. Dieting is a challenge since my husband enjoys the expediency of quick processed meals. I enjoy cooking, so am hoping I can figure this out. But when I told my sister of the low carb thing she was horrified (think she imagined Adkins) and pointed out that my husband does most of the shopping and likes processed food. I'm not quite sure how we can blend processed food with healthy eating. The two are contradictions because of fat, sodium or carbs.

A Birthday Treat

Today, my work colleague invited me to go out to lunch. I ordered a Mediterranean veggie sandwich, a salad and fruit. We had a good time, but after about an hour, my friend decided that she wanted to go, get on with her day. I came home, waited a bit (so the students could get home) and then the dogs and I walked around the field. A clear warm sunny day. It will be a beautiful clear night for the super moon.

Back online after vacation

We returned home from our camping trip at the state park on Tuesday. We drove up under blue skies and fluffy white clouds. Set up camp, made dinner and sat by the fire and had a s'more for dessert. The next day rain began at 8am and drizzled down until 2pm. It cleared and we were able to enjoy the day. It rained on Saturday but later cleared. More rain on Sunday morning. Monday was a bit crazy, We were under a tornado warning--one set down about 30 miles from where we were camping. Some rain, but no high winds, mostly clear and sunny. We took down our tent gazebo and packed it away before the rain. On Tuesday, we got my mother and dad packed up and off, and then my husband and I headed for home. We had gotten a message that my uncle passed away, so stopped at the funeral home on our way back. I only wish that the message had been delayed so that I could have enjoyed a day or two of vacation without the sadness. My dad became stressed about when to tell my mother that her brother had died and getting home in time to go to the visitation. We unloaded the trailer, so our house was a mess, the camper needed to be cleaned--refrigerator wiped down, sand swept out, and floor scrubbed. I finally finished those chores last night. I did aerobics at hoi jeon mool sool and learned two new hand techniques. Our key member hurt his back at boot camp and the 2nd dan hurt his heel. Now I am back at work, but I have good memories of my vacation--the 5 mile walk across the bridge connecting the upper and lower peninsulas, sitting by the fire and making s'mores and popcorn and visiting with my children, brother and parents. I feel rested and relaxed.

It is what it is

Well, snap, my writing just disappeared! Today I am tired, tired of counting carbs, servings of calcium and calories. Or, maybe I'm just tired in general. I am feeling contrary. I normally watch my diet, but the minute the doctor specifically limited the number of carbs, I find myself resisting. It's like wanting to use the car, only because it's not available. Or wanting a big helping of meat because it's a Friday of Lent. But, I have been counting, and I did resist eating a snack at bedtime last night. I've lost a bit of weight. I really do appreciate the conscientiousness of my doctor, especially since diabetes and obesity run in my family. I am working toward getting my weight in the normal range which means a weight loss of 15-25 pounds. In another blog, I wrote that I wanted to look like a ninja warrior, and this should motivate me. Frankly though I am not the happiest person today. I am looking forward to vacation. Rain is in the forecast with the sun scheduled to shine the day we depart. Figures. It is what it is, and I hope we have a good time anyway. Would it be asking too much for good weather the five days that I'm up north?

Vacation

On Thursday, in three short days, I am going on vacation. We are heading to the State Park, 270 miles from home. We will be staying in our Palomino pop up--our home away from home. My husband and I drive together, and my father and his dog, Rosa, pull his travel trailer with his truck. To get my mother up quicker, my eldest daughter drives her up. It's a mini family reunion. My recently married daughter will come up with my niece and her family on Friday, and on Saturday my youngest son and daughter, nephew and a niece arrive, with last, but not least, my brother driving up Sunday. We relax in the sun, swim in the lake, take short excursions around the area, cook and sit around a fire. It's a reprieve from work and daily living. The trailer is packed with sleeping bags, chairs, and other camping equipment. Just have to pack personal items and food. Praying for safe travel, good health and a happy time for all.

A Balancing Act

So, I'm in a good mood. But yesterday, I went over my 1200 calorie limit. Tried to figure out where the calories came from. Now, I'm using My Fitness Pal to record my food, and it is easy to input incorrect information. I'm balancing carbs, calories and calcium. Ha! The three Cs! I discovered that I had too many servings of grains, dairy and meat--the sources of the 326 extra calories. So today, I need to be cognizant of the three Cs! Tomorrow, we are picking up our daughter at the train station and then heading out to the lake for a family reunion. It is important to attend the picnic and visit with all the relatives. I never know if this will be the last time to make a memory. My aunt and her son in law passed away a few years ago, and I have wonderful memories of chatting with both of them. My cousin passed away a month ago suddenly from lung cancer.

Healthy Eating

Carb Counting

Diabetes runs in my mother's family. My grandmother died at a very young age from a diabetic stroke, and my mother and her sister have diabetes. So, when my sugar level came back at 109 (instead of less than 100), my doctor gave the nurse diabetic information to give to me. I have to count carbs, no more than 50 mgs per meal and a snack of 15-30 mgs. Now yesterday I felt "off balance." Could be that I skipped a meal on Wednesday and began lowering the carb count. I was coping fairly well, until my friend came in with a steak and cheese sandwich from a restaurant. He had his stomach banded, and after eating 1/4 of the sandwich, he didn't want any more, so gave it to me. I put it in the refrigerator but later in the day, became hungry and ate it. Now the sandwich could have counted as the snack but after dinner I had two more snacks--cheese popcorn and 1/4 cup ice cream. Yesterday, I felt sad, but my mood seems to be much better today, so after the false start yesterday, I believe that I can stick to the recommended mgs of carbs. I wouldn't want the carbs so much if I wasn't told that I couldn't have them! After the rain moved on, I walked my two dogs around the field. No one else was about, so I could enjoy some solitude. I plan to walk them again tonight after dinner Dinners are a problem, because my husband enjoys processed food. Hard to watch my carb count when food is mixed in a casserole. That is a concern along with darkness coming earlier, and no safe way to walk my dogs and get my exercise. In the winter darkness falls at 5pm and I have to work until 6pm.

Summer

Because the weather is cool, it doesn't seem like summer. I read about young workers on the island heading back to college and I thought, "Wait a minute! Summer is just beginning!" But in actuality, fall will begin on October 21! One week from today, we will head to the State Park to camp for a few days. I enjoy swimming, eating outdoors, walking and sitting around the fire, but many businesses close for the season on Labor Day, so I know fall and winter are just around the corner. Now fall is a colorful season with the leaves changing, cider and donuts and football games. All too soon, fall is gone and the cold dark days of winter settle in. When I recognize that I'm "sundowning," I turn on lamps and make a warm drink. The coziness helps me through that difficult period. I had a meeting with a nurse yesterday, specifically to compare my blood pressure machine with her manual one. As always, my BP was high. She spoke to me about taking 2000 units of vitamin D, and about my blood sugar. It checked at 109 and less than 100 is normal. So now I have to count carbs.

Giving off vibes?

On Monday, we lined up to start hoi jeon moo sool, and I was surprised when the master came up and said, "I know you were frustrated on Wednesday," (that was the day I drove home seriously considering giving up the sport) and then he demonstrated the technique. I don't know that I gave off "frustration vibes" and I know positively that I didn't say a word, so then how did he know? Happily, at class I did improve on the first part of the technique, the grip. We will see how it goes. If I decide that it would be a waste of time, effort and money, I will tell my instructor that I will not be testing for a black belt.

Blue skies in August

Tired, I suppose

I drove back from hapkido and considered if it was time to give up the sport. Some forward progress, but still a plethora of errors. Maybe, just maybe, it's time to throw my hat into the ring. As with any sport, the biological clock tick, tick, ticks, and eventually the alarm goes off. It's two days later and I am practicing, thinking I was tired, I had worked all day and practiced for an hour before class. I am trying to incorporate the corrections into the techniques, draw similarities between them, and get them safely under my belt. I will continue for awhile, reevaluate my position, and try to make a decision. The grandmaster is coming from Canada for the testing, to see the style of hoi jeon moo sool that my master teaches. Our representative should be our key member, our 3rd dan.

Yearly check ups scare me

I went for my yearly check up on Wednesday afternoon. And even though I like my doctor and she doesn't intimidate me, I was scared to death, and consequently my blood pressure reading was terrible. It did manage to go down slightly to 138/90. I tried to go to a "happy place," but couldn't seem to find one, and as the cuff tightened and hurt my arm, I realized that the reading was not going to be good. So I checked out and then headed to the lab to have blood drawn for glucose, cholesterol, vitamin D and hepatitis tests. A couple referrals for a dexascan to check bone density for a pre-osteoporosis condition and a mammogram. And since I like to get everything out of the way, a visit to the eye doctor. In a couple weeks, I will be finished with these doctor visits. And hopefully, I will not have to go back to the clinic for another year!

Manchester United and Real Madrid

For the past week, crews have been setting up tents in preparation for the big game between Manchester United and Real Madrid. Banners blow in the breeze, a Chevy truck sits high on a platform and the fence is covered with posters. My son, daughter and her husband are at the Big House ready to cheer on Manchester United. It's slow at work, because either people are at the game or hiding out in their homes. The sun is shining, temps are in the 80s--a fine day for futbol!

More time to become a ninja warrior

The other day, my mother and I were watching the Denver qualifications for the program "Ninja Warrior." As I saw the women warriors compete, I realized that I want to be just like them, or as like them as I can be at my young age! So...I am embarking on a program! 50 situps and pushups, 50 leg raises each leg, (I have to hold on to something), stretching with the rack every day. Hard to get out of a stretch position when I'm a gumby! Anyway, I have many months to get ready, as my martial arts instructor told me last night that the grandmaster wants to sit in on the testing. It was originally scheduled for October, but has to be postponed until the first of the year. I am not overly nervous about performing in front of the black belts. I get in the zone, with enough butterflies to make me careful, but not so many nerves, that I flub the entire program. And I will be ready or I will not attempt to test, as I don't want to pay a testing fee and fail! Carpe Diem!

Labeling

So yesterday, my martial arts master said, "I am not saying this to be mean, but you are uncoordinatd, so you have to work harder." Well, with all the negativity from my husband, boss and martial arts instructor, I'm surprised I'm not a man hater! My mother said frequently, "You are so clumsy!" Not a good thing, tossing around labels. After a while, I believed it...thought I was a non athlete, that I was not graceful, that I was clumsy. I'm careful when I practice to not let a small error become a huge mountain.

Enjoying the Day

The sun shone as I drove to the stable. When I arrived, my instructor was finishing a lesson. It took a minute for me to recognize my horse, Tamara. I groomed her and then put on the saddle blanket, riser and saddle. Once astride, I worked on tear drops and ten meter cirles. My instructor decided that I would learn to trot. She gave me some directions. Hold on to the bridle and the saddle. lean backward. I told her that I had never trotted before. I was a bit apprehensive, but when Tamara turned her walk into a trot, I could feel it! It was like the first time that the horse moved into a walk and I felt the riding excitement! All too soon, it was time to unsaddle and groom Tamara, and lead her to the pasture. I then drove into the small village and walked to the post office to mail some postcards to Canada and Italy. A woman had come into the flower shop. She was on a tour bus, and could no find stamps. She asked me if I would mail the postcards for her. The stamps were colorful circles. I then walked back to the park and sat in the shade and ate my lunch. After, I drove to my friend's house to get a haircut. It was a perfect summer day!

Days of Rest and Relaxation

I do not have to work until Thursday. I have just finished working 12 days straight. The manager of the branch store took some time off and I covered for her. My dad and brother went to the lake for some much needed respite. I would work til 6 and then hurry scurry to my parent's house to care for my mother. And on Monday, I attended the Memorial Service of my cousin who died of lung cancer. On Tuesday, my uncle called to let us know that my aunt's biopsy showed inoperable stomach cancer. My plans for tomorrow are to spend some time with my horse, Tamara, and to get my hair cut and dyed. I had to reschedule as I forgot that I worked all day last week. Been busy cleaning at home too...vacuuming, scrubbing bathrooms, doing laundry, cooking and cleaning up after. The dogs and I walk around the field for exercise. One of the cats has a 3rd eyelid issue. It seems to be improving, so only time will tell if he needs to see a vet.

Tamara bucks

Yesterday when I left for my riding lesson, it was pouring rain. I dreaded the spray from the trucks on the expressway, but was pleasantly surprised as the drive wasn't bad. I got to my lesson a couple minutes late. I was up early, tossing loads of clothes into the washer and dryer, vacuuming. I wouldn't have been late but I got a last minute phone call that took up my time. My instructor said that since Tamara was in a stall all night that we should address lunging one more time. Tamara kept breaking and when the horse recognized that my instructor was coming toward her, she bucked and pulled the lunge rope right out of my hand! She galloped around the ring, rope dragging. Thankfully, she did not get her feet tangled in it. Once she stopped, my instructor put her through her paces and eventually I tried using the left hand to motion her to change from a walk to a trot or canter. I didn't have time to ride her, which was disappointing. I have to miss a lesson next week as beginning tomorrow, I have to work til a week from Tuesday. A positive. As I was walking through the barn, I heard a horse nicker. My instructor asked me to get Tamara from the barn and I realized that the horse I heard was Tamara. She recognized me! And as I approached her to bring her into the arena, she nickered again! I am establishing rapport with her! Probably from all the chopped apples and carrots and peppermints that I give her!

"A Depressive Life"

My 86 year old mother has mobility issues, dementia and is hard-of-hearing. She needs personal care assistants and cannot be left alone. About three years ago, my father contacted a home-care agency and procured personal assistants for her. When the two aides are not working, my dad helps my mother. With her hearing issues, my mother refuses to let my dad out of her sight. He told me yesterday that he and my mother have been in a relationship for a long time and that he is not giving up on it now. He said that my mother would not like to be in a home, so he is not going to put her in one. However, what should be my mother and father's golden years, have turned into a "depressive life" for my dad. He is "stuck in a rut." He looks forward to golfing on Mondays with my brother. In August, my husband, daughter, parents and I will head up to the State Park. My daughter drives up with my mother and my father drives up alone. My dad told me that on the drive there and back, he is free all day..free to take his time, enjoy the scenery, stop to eat and rest. In July, my brother and father are going camping...a few days respite from a tough situation. Though my dad will enjoy the time away, my mother will be in a horrible mood when he returns. This week, we will gather together to have a picnic and celebrate my dad's 88th birthday. His commitment and faithfulness to the woman he took as his wife 67 years ago are truly remarkable. To be honest, I am not like him at all. Conscientious and faithful? Yes. But willing to sacrifice all my personal happiness for another? No.

Rest in peace, faithful friend Max

Back in 2004, we went to the Humane Society to look for a dog. The house seemed empty without our dog Bo. Bo had cancer and we had to put her to sleep. My husband was drawn to a labrador beagle named Max. I remember my first look at Max. He was standing squarely in his cage, barking furiously. We took him for a walk to try to discern his character. Somehow I felt he was conning us. And I was right. Max ruled the roost until 2008 when we adopted a puggle, mini dachsund and two cats. The three dogs and I would walk around the field. Max went camping with us every August. He had the distinct arooo rooo rooo of a beagle. His coat shone reddish brown in the sun. Maybe a year or so ago, Max became lame. He limped on his shoulder. We tried joint lubricant on his food to no avail. The limp got worse and he lost his signature bark. I slso suspect he was blind because he rode the walls and managed to get trapped almost everywhere. Last night when he whined and tried to get up to a standing position but failed, we realized it was time. I could think of nothing today at work other than the difficult task of taking Max to the clinic to be put to sleep. I set him in a blanket on the floor in the back, but 2 minutes into the trip he was upside down and terrified. I got out in the middle of traffic to try to make him more comfortable but it didn't help. Once we made it to the vet, I managed to get him out of the car. The techs inserted a catheter so that the doctor could give him two injections. When he came out of the back room, he was lying peacefully on a blanket with a lambs wool covering. All I could see was his head and he looked young. I hugged his head and told him he was a good boy. Rest in peace, Max 2002-2014. Enjoy chasing around with your ears back and your tail wagging!

Not Exactly as Planned

Today I had a riding lesson. I put Tamara through her paces, walk, trot, canter, and learned to turn by rotating my shoulder and pressing with my leg. I dismounted without falling. So..I felt pretty good about the lesson! I curried Tamara, gave her cut carrots, apples and cookies and then my instructor asked me to put Tamara in the pasture. I confidently led the horse into the pasture, wondering how to put the horse in and secure the eight-foot gate at the same time. I led her in as I watched the gate swing open, and then removed her halter. I thought she would wander off to eat hay, as eating is her favorite activity. I was so wrong! Tamara saw the open gate and the opportunity to be free and walked right through the gate. I said "Whoa" and she continued on, even trotting a couple steps as she headed up toward the arena. I secured the gate so Creamer would not escape, and then wandered up to where Tamara was happily chomping on green grass. I tried to put on her halter, but must have put it on upside down or something, as it wasn't right. My instructor's dad came up and said, "Need some help?" I told him I did, and apologized for letting the horse get out. He responded, "Only need to say you're sorry if it's your 60th horse to get out." He told me that it's even worse if two horses get out. We walked toward the pasture and my instructor drove up, surprised to see us. She showed me how to hold the gate open, let Tamara go in on the lead, let the lead out and then have her turn toward me, remove the halter and then chain the gate. Something to work on for sure.

The June Strawberry or Honey Moon

For the first time since 1919, there was a full moon in June. It waxed on my mother's 86th birthday, June 13th. It derives its name from the strawberry season. The next full moon in June will be in 2049. I have been taking 9-question tests on facebook--the kind of thinker I am, the perfect country for me to live in, the 2 words that best describe me, which jewel I am and which house would I like to live in. I try to answer these tests honestly, and amazingly, the description at the end suits me! I am a linquistic thinker, I like to read, write, talk ...and talk some more! My country of choice is Inida since I am a philosopher at heart. I would like to live in a farmhouse and my jewel is my birthstone, the sapphire. The two words that best describe me are "unbelievably sweet" (probably because I enjoy chocolate so much!). Tomorrow we are honoring my husband and children's father with a cookout--steak, potato salad, green salad, strawberries, kiwi, rolls and yellow cake with white frosting for dessert. My daughter and I come home from work a short time before my son has to go to work, but we will be together for a minute anyway. And then on Monday, we are celebrating my Mother's birthday and my dad's special day with a picnic at my parent's home. So lucky!

First lesson--Tamara and me

I am working on proper leg position, which much to my chagrin, I am not practicing here. Leg bent, toes forward, heels down, down, down.

In the country at the stable

The sun shone and a breeze drifted through my car window as I drove to the stable. A perfect day for a riding lesson. At the stable, the gate was across the drive, so I got out opened it and secured it to the post. I drove the car through and then closed the gate--not sure if a horse was grazing on the grass. When I arrive early, I practice hapkido forms. Rather tripped over the large stones, but at least there was enough space to give it my best shot. We led Tamara in from the pasture and I groomed her. Then saddled and bridled her. I rode along the rail for a minute, did a figure eight, and then tried to back her up between two poles lying parallel on the floor of the arena. Not quite like driving a car backward. Definitely need some practice with this technique as I backed her into one side of the poles. My trainer says we will practice more next week and add a turn. I tried two-point, jumping position, and can do well--as long as the horse is standing still! I finished by grooming Tamara and then feeding her chopped carrots, apple and peppermint. We led her back to the pasture to play in the sun with her other equine friends. I feel a connection with my trainer and chatter with her constantly, probably because I am alone at work most of the time, or my husband has on his headphones and can't hear me.

Pentecost

Today, fifty days after Easter, we celebrated Pentecost. The first reading was in Polish, the second in Maltese, and the gospel in a West Indian dialect. Many people wore red, symbolic of the coming of the Holy Spirit. I really don't have anything red, so wore blue and green. After church, I came home ate breakfast and packed a lunch for work. My colleague and I worked on the cooler, refreshing vases and adding flowers. I did dishes (cleaned vases). I also attempted to make a corsage and boutonniere with silk flowers. This was a first...and I told the customer that I would give it my best shot, after a heartfelt prayer. It looked nice and the customer was happy...but would the corsage stand the test of time? I arranged some carnations in a pitcher and three yellow asiatic lilies in a vase to take to my mother. Her 86th birthday is this Friday. I had a wonderful visit with my parents and then came home to do laundry and clean up the kitchen, before putting up my feet and watching the ball game.

Slept In

I am ashamed to say that I slept in til nearly noon! I think my tiredness was a combination of things. I practiced hapkido for hours yesterday. I worked with a partner for an hour and then trained for an hour after practicing all the techniques during the day. Martial arts reminds me of learning a foreign language. As a new student, there is always something that I don't understand or that I can't visualize, that I can't get down. This bothers me with the testing coming up in October because even though I feel that I can perform correctly, what if I'm not looking in the direction of the attack, or moving my head out of the way, or worse yet, not succeeding in an effective technique. So the master said that I should work on making the techniques more fluid and rounded, like a river, to not grab, to be more patient. Last night I worked on chil rang gis, tung chi gis and 13 self defense. Need to work on proper kick position too, getting my hip over. I've learned most of the korean terms. Most of them translate literally except for 5 or so. I will have something to eat and then begin practicing the techniques. It is a beautiful spring day, a perfect day to practice on my driveway although the driveway slants a bit and throws my balance off.

Guests

Last Friday, my daughter drove her friend to the airport to return to Texas. When her friend asked if she could stay with us, we understood the visit to be for one night! She meant for two weeks. Apparently, a few days before her eminent arrival, her plans fell through and she had to hurry scurry to find another place to stay. She was a wonderful guest and welcome to stay any time. The day before she left, our oldest daughter arrived from DC. She had promised her friend that she would run a 5k with her as a birthday gift. So, our daughter was here for six days. My sister, daughter and I had lunch out today. It was a beautiful spring day and we sat on the restaurant patio and enjoyed a long meal. Home for a few hours and then a trip to the airport. So, after 3 weeks, it is once again my husband, 19 year old home from university for the summer, and me!

Martial Arts Drilling

I'm trying to be dilligent about my drilling. I made a chart so that I can record the techniques that I practice each day. And today, I took a look at 58 Korean terms. I know 5 of them, but I figure if I learn 5 each day, I should know them all by October. I realized as I was learning punching and blocking, that the test will be a practical application of the techniques--taking the offensive and defending, not just performing 10 techniques in order. I am working on blocking and punching together, not block then punch like I first learned. I need to step out of the way of the attack--hard when my first inclination is to step INTO the attack. I need to work work work on hoi jeons--turn my upper body fully, extend the bow's wrist, keep it high and come around like a tornado. Good thing I have several months to get it together. Always, always something to tweak and refine.

100th Birthday Celebration

Many of us acquired our first jobs at a local restaurant and inn. My husband worked at the business for 12 years, his friend and bowling colleague was a chef for 39 years and I worked as a desk clerk for almost three years while attending college. The founder celebrated his 100th b'day this week, and patrons were invited to eat at the restaurant and sign a birthday card. Last evening, our little group gathered at the restaurant (my husband and son, my husband's friend and his wife). Brightly colored mylar balloons with "100" and latex balloons waved jauntily in the restaurant. We dined on frog legs and palm heart salad with Italian dressing, split pea soup and house salad, prime rib with baked potato with butter and sour cream, roasted duck and cake with happy 100th and a birthday candle. And to end the meal, the best coffee ever!. The owner's son, grandson and the general manager greeted us at our table. Happy patrons came up to acknowledge the wonderful meals that my husband's friend had prepared back inn the day. We signed the birthday card, and then wished the founder a most happy 100th birthday. He was a truly remarkable businessman, always smiling, a bundle of energy with joy for life. Thank you, Hermann!

Mother's Day

I am trying to figure out how to download the photo of Tamara, the horse I've been riding. The photo is in the windows library. Still working on it! I didn't have to work today, though I stopped in for a minute. When I went to clock out last evening, I had an order in the action queue. All is well, we can take care of it tomorrow. I was looking out the window, when I noticed that a white car pulled up in front of the house. The driver got out, holding a hanging flower basket. I thought, "Oh! Very Nice! My neighbor is getting a gift!" It still didn't register (til the driver came toward our house) that the flowers were for me! My son and daughter sent me a beautiful hanging begonia basket and gorgeous pink and lime green floral arrangement! I am blessed to have my sons, daughters and son-in-law in my life! My friend at work has been extremely sad for days. She is estranged from her daughter and it is breaking her heart. My prayer is that the two can reconcile this day, put the hurts and disappointments of the past behind them, and look forward to the future.

At the stable

I can't help but think about the branch manager's daughter. Stage 4 cancer. An inoperable brain tumor that might be handled with a cyberknife. Cancer in the lungs and in the adrenal gland. So, I saw my riding lesson has a respite, a distraction. I fed Tamara an apple to entice her into the arena. I curried and groomed her, and put on her bridle, saddle blanket, riser, and -English saddle. I then lunged her. She walked, trotted and cantered. I forgot at first to plant my feet and walked around. Today my instructor asked me to work on figure eights. Provided quite a show when I dismounted. I left my foot in the stirrup too long, and lost my balance as the gear shifted and fell on my seat in the sand. Nothing was hurt! I gave Tamara her apple and carrot pieces. I really hope that I can find a way to continue the lessons after these initial five are over. I would work on leg strengthening exercises the first year.

A Worker Ant

My husband injured his back trying to pull the seats out of the van so that he could move my daughter back from her dorm. Since he was unable to drive, I went to help my daughter pack and load her things. By the time we returned home, my hapkido class was in progress. So, immediately after receiving the invitation to train for my black belt, I missed a class. The university in the city held graduation exercises this week and it was prom for the seniors at one of the high schools. The wind caused a power line to sag at the branch store location. The electrical wire tangled with the internet and phone cable, burning it. So, the branch flower shop was offline most of the week. Once the cable was fixed, I had to enter information for the previous days into the computer, organize corsages and boutonnieres for prom, and prepare bouquets for graduation gifts. After work, I stopped at the store for food, prepared, served and cleaned up after dinner. The branch store manager called me and told me that her daughter has a brain tumor and a tumor on her lung. Very scary stuff since her husband died of cancer. Her daughter had surgery to remove one tumor, but the other is inoperable. She will begin radiation and chemo. When I get exhausted with work and chores, I give myself a pep talk. "It will pass. Be grateful that you can do the work. Be like an ant. A little bit at a time." It helps when I think of working tomorrow for the branch manager (otherwise she would work nine days in a row!) and the upcoming days. I look to Sunday, May 11th, Mom's Day, when I will have a day off from work, sit outside, put my feet up, imagine I am at the beach...

Training for my black belt

Seven years ago, a friend told me about a hapkido class and invited me to join. The invitation fell at a good time, as a couple years before, I had attended a celebratory dinner and as martial artists gave testimonials, I realized that I wanted the support of a martial arts program. And so, I took my first lesson. I began with beggies (wrist techniques), moved to hoi jeon chigis, and tung chigis. I struggle "Move your other left foot! How can you move that direction? Your feet are all twisted up!" I practice rarely only motivated if I'm competing in a tournament. I need to change however. On Monday, I was invited to train for my black belt and to test on October 20, 2014. I need to work on flexibility, stamina, practice techniques, eat properly, attend all my classes. I have six months to reach my goal.

An Accent

My great grandmother emigrated from Sweden and settled in Minnesota. She met and married a farmer, who became my great grandfather. They had a son and a daughter. Their daughter became ill and died on the way to Michigan. My grandparents had three children, two sons and a daughter. One of their sons is my father. Of course my father talked about Grandma Klara from Sweden. And supposedly, my sister has my great grandma's nose and blond hair. Two or so years ago, the head of a home care agency came to the house, and almost immediately asked if my family was from Minnesota and Swedish because of a perceived accent. Imagine my surprise, as this was the first time ever that anyone had said that I have an accent (other than a Midwest accent). I thought it was a one-time occurrence, so was surprised when it happened three more times. I was reading online to try to identify what in my speech patterns cues a person that I am Swedish. No luck to date, except to discover that someone in the western part of the US was shocked to find the same thing happen to him! I am fourth generation Swedish, do not speak the language.

New Asus T100 Tablet

In Feb. 2012, we purchased a Dell Inspiron laptop and Asus Transformer Prime tablet to replace two laptops that were stolen off our kitchen table. The other day, firmware for the touchscreen was attempting to be upgraded, and the touchscreen froze. The tablet had other issues also. The ports were damaged when the tablet and dock fell onto the floor. I took the Dell to work so that I could connect it to the Ethernet and have internet access. Halfway through the day, it shut off and the power button would not start it back up. So apparently there are major issues with the power supply. Nothing to do but recycle it. We bought an Asus T100, a user friendly tablet with dock. I am muddling my way through the ins and outs of the T100. And this time to be safe, we purchased a protection plan.

Easter

Three of our five children were home to celebrate Easter. We started the day by attending church. Surprised to discover that the time of church services had been changed, so we arrived right before it began. Standing room only much like St. Peter's Square in Rome. I didn't mind, as I could sing loudly and walk around and greet people. We cooked breakfast of eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls, hash browns, fruit and juice (and candy!) We sat in the living room and watched Monsters University until it was time to leave for the lake and my sister's house. As we neared her house, we had to take a small detour as their was an accident. Hopefully everyone involved will be okay. My elderly parents, brother and two of his daughters, my sister and her husband and three of their children were there. The sun shone on the lake as we ate the delicious Easter dinner my sister had prepared. After dinner we played BINGO, and I won some pear and green tea hand soap and a Cadbury egg. Our youngest daughter leaves for university and her last week of classes this evening. Our eldest daughter flies home tomorrow morning.

Riding lesson...lunging

Crazy day! Middle of April, and it snowed! I was wondering what the store would do with the plants outside in the nursery. As I drove by, I noticed that most of them had been sheltered inside. Yesterday, I began preparing the house for guests. I put clean sheets on the beds, vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms. Today I changed the pine chips in the rabbit cage, and siphoned water out of the aquarium and replaced it with clean water. I addressed and sent off my parent's Easter card. I had a riding lesson today. It was a bit discouraging as 2 inches of snow and ice were on the car, and of course the wiper blades had ice on them. I ran them and the defroster and eventually the water on the windshield evaporated. I'm glad that I didn't have to round up Tamara as I had a good chance of leading in the wrong horse! My instructor got a new trial bay, Hope and she has decided not to put Jay up for sale. So, I groomed Tamara and with my instructor's help, put on the saddle blanket, saddle riser, saddle and bitless bridle. Because of the snow and Tamara's level of energy, my instructor decided to lunge her. She asked me if I got dizzy if I twirled around. I told her yes, because I thought I would be doing the kiddie version of "helicopter." But lunging means turning a slow circle as the horse walks, trots and canters. I spent the lesson lunging Tamara and trying to get her to listen to my commands. It's a bit tricky, because as in the first lesson, I gave her mixed signals. For example, I spoke slowly when I wanted her to trot. Tamara knows the cadence as the signal, so I needed to speed up "Trot!," kissy sound to make her canter, say "And...Walk." to have her walk. Time was up before I knew it, and with all the lunging, I didn't have time to ride.

And so begins Holy Week

Today is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week, the most important few days in my year, as we approach Easter. I am juggling work, hapkido, riding lessons, church services and preparations for visits with family. It is stressful and difficult and I prayed today that I can get through it with a smile. Today's reflection was on doing for others and becoming less self-centered. A good thought for the week.

Anniversary

Tonight, my husband and I are heading to the olive garden to celebrate our anniversary (39). And then off to a movie. The sun is shining just as it was those many years ago. Some of the relatives and friends that celebrated our happy day are gone now...my grandparents, my husband's grandma and his parents, several aunts and uncles. I remember as I was walking down the aisle my uncle whispered, "Beautiful!" His whispered comment will always be treasured. My husband and I drew up a blueprint for a house. We bought some property and then every capable and willing hand was drafted into helping us build our house. The three bedroom house became the home where my husband and I lived with our five children. They are grown now and we are left with dogs, cats, a rabbit and fish (from a homeschooling project with my nephew). The marriage road has not always been easy, trying to blend two opinionated, different personalities takes a lot of effort. Many times we have had to communicate, talk out our differences, forgive, compromise (explains why our chimney is 5 different brick colors) and personally sacrifice. Have I exasperated my husband? Of course. Has he irritated me? Yes, indeed. Was it worth it? Yes, our life together is special.

Riding lesson

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and I drove out to the stable for my first riding lesson. We found the house number and pulled up the driveway. After searching around, we realized that we had driven past the drive leading to the stable. We met a young girl who helped around the stable and also took lessons. My instructor was finishing a lesson, so I went off with the aide to get the horse. I met Tamara, a beautiful 17 year old Eyptian Arabian. She balked at coming out of the corral, so the teen enticed her with some grass. She found a lead, I attached it and walked her to the inside arena. Tamara is voice trained and gentle, but does not like to go around other horses. So to pass them, I opened the gate into the arena and walked her past the other horses. My instructor showed me where she stored the equipment. I gathered a pad, girth, saddle riser and English saddle. Later I got the bitless bridle. My instructor showed me the proper way to put on the saddle and bridle. I then clucked softly and led Tamara into the arena to the mounting block. Once on Tamara, my instructor adjusted the stirrups and told me to hold the reins as if I were holding an ice cream cone. Hold the reins about an inch above the saddle. As Tamara walked, I felt one with her and spent the next few minutes trying to stay near the rail. I also learned that if Tamara had her ears pointing forward, as she did when she heard a flock of birds chirping outside, that I needed to talk to her and if necessary change direction. Not so critical in the arena, but quite important on a trail where the horse could become a runaway. The time flew by and once I dismounted, I led her, dropping too much rein to my dismay, and into the hallway, where I learned how to stow the saddle and stirrups. I groomed Tamara and then helped my instructor put on her blanket. My husband and I gave her some peppermint candies for her hard work and then I led her outside and the instructor put her into the pen with Jay, her horse friend. I am so very lucky and I have four more lessons!

My Bucket List

I just signed up for 5 horseback riding lessons. The only time I sat astride a horse was a hundred years ago when I took the Scouts to the state park and we rode the trail on a beautiful autumn day. Leaves floated gently to the ground, the sun shone and squirrels played. So, I've decided in the last few days to become friendly with horses. Not too far a stretch for me as I have 3 dogs, 4 cats, a rabbit and 7 fish at home. My husband would like to take an Alaskan or Disney Cruise and travel west to Yosemite and the Grand Canyon. We would also like to take a look at Maine and Arcadia National Park. If my riding lessons go well, I might like to spend some time at a horse ranch and visit Montana. I have been gripped by the story of the Maylasian plane and every morning check the news for developments. My worry for the people aboard the missing plane take some of the sparkle from spring days bright with sunshine and melting snow.

Respect for the environment

The flower shop shares a dumpster with a coffee shop. On Wednesday, I noticed that the dumpster was full and that bags of trash were on the ground. Trash is picked up on Thursday morning, so I expected that once the dumpster was empty, someone from the coffee shop would pick up the mess on the ground. When I drove in this morning, I saw garbage bags on the ground. I switched my knit gloves for latex, locked the flower shop door and armed with a snow shovel, picked up the trash and tossed it in the dumpster. I am annoyed that the employees at the coffee shop care so little for the earth that they would dump the trash on the ground. The coffee shop needs another dumpster and more containers for recycled items. My dad taught me respect for the environment and many times, I have hauled items to be recycled to my home to dispose of in the proper containers.

The thrill of competing

A few uncertainties yesterday afternoon as I gathered my clothes and sparring gear for the tournament. Would I be reffing? Did I need my ref uniform--black pants, white shirt, red tie? What should I eat? I generally follow a predictable diet on tournament days, eggbeaters, oatnut bread, sandwich, orange and macaroni and cheese. What time should I leave so as to allow enough time to center myself? I decided to leave 70 minutes before the tourney to allow time to stop and pick up some AAA batteries for my digital camera. And so I loaded myself and the equipment in the car and headed off. I was amused to see a sign in front of a local church "Drive thru ashes." I chuckled but was glad for the reminder that Ash Wednesday is tomorrow. I stopped for the batteries at a local CVS, happy to find them right away across from the checkout. I was disturbed by an altercation between two customers--one quite upset because he felt the other had cut in front of him. The whole thing was totally unnecessary because the one said she stepped out of line to get some bottled water. Why not stay in line and tell the cashier that she was purchasing water and picking it up after? Would have been too easy! Once at the dojang, I checked in and at 6 pm the event started. The first was the obstacle course. Little artists between the ages of 3 and 10 hopped over a couple pads, ran in and out of cones, kicked across banana pads and dove under a limbo pole before making a hammer fist to break a board and then running back. The fastest won the 1st place and so on down the line for each heat. Then the participants did poomse forms, two at a time. Three judges raised their arms toward the direction of the winner. My name was called along with a 17 year old 2nd degree in karate. I did my personal best, but lost to his very complicated, long form. After open hand forms, the sparring competition began. I kicked and punched as best as I could, but not well enough to win first. And so it went. As I drove to the tournament, I told myself that if I performed well, did not forget my form or make mistakes, I would be happy, that it really didn't matter if I took home a 1st place trophy. And I was successful. I did perform the techniques well and I showed good sportsmanship. As I look at the trophies I took home last night, I think back to my pre competition days. I yearned to compete and then as now, I thought, "I will do my personal at best. That would be the cake. And if I win a medal or trophy, that is the frosting on the cake." And little did I expect that I would enjoy the thrill of competing.

Tournament Day!

Hoping to have a minute to think through my form in my mind at work. However, we had many orders to fill and two were for fruit and gourmet and chocolate baskets which meant a trip to the store. I was busy, busy, busy, until I clocked out. I ran through the form several times once I got home. I performed for five ladies last evening, with Maggie the dog running about and in my socks which made turning slippery and a challenge. And the terrible thing is, the entire form is a blur. I truly do not know if I did all the techniques last night. My sister said it looked good except to make the arm movements bigger. So 1.) I am going to get into my zone, 2.) I will count the techniques and pace myself, and 3.) I will make the arm movements bigger. I hope to spar also but I have not been to sparring class because of work schedule conflicts. It is a friendly competition with fellow students from the dojang.

Paying attention to intuition

Twice in the last two days, my intuition has strongly urged me to rethink. Yesterday, when I put in an order for roses, something told me to recalculate the amount. Either because I was tired or hungry, I looked at it for a minute and then left it. This afternoon when the customer came in to pick up the roses, he mentioned that I had told him a price $10 lower than what I had charged him. Now, I have no idea where the amount I entered came from. It was totally wrong, but if I had paid attention to my intuition, the price would not have been wrong in the first place. Today, a customer ordered a low long centerpiece for a dinner party this evening. He wanted it in an hour from the time he called. The centerpieces are always made at the main store, but since that store is seven miles away, I knew it could not be made and brought to the branch store in time. What to do? I needed floral foam and a low tray which I did not have. I tried to substitute but was displeased with the result. You can imagine my happiness when the customer called and asked for the arrangement to be delivered. There was plenty of time for a designer to make it (in jewel tones rather than the pastels I had used) and for our delivery manager to get it to house by early evening. A sigh of relief here and a reminder to listen to my intuition.

"Trying to make the wife happy"

A customer just purchased iris and yellow tulips in an attempt to keep his wife happy. He said that he should have taken a vacation this year, and that he will certainly take one next winter. I so understand. My son leaves the cold of winter for the sun, beach and palm trees. With six feet of snow this winter,cold cold temperatures, everyone is looking forward to spring. The Great Lakes froze over this year, preventing evaporation, so for the first time in many years, the lake and river levels should rise. Talked to a customer from the west coast who said that it was pouring rain and that flooding was likely. I have been doing okay this winter because I light candles and drink a hot carob drink. And the fact that the days are longer, I drive home in the light now, makes me happy. I am doing fine. I am looking forward to paying attention to my husband, though unfortunately for him, I am not Donna Reed and to the college basketball playoffs.

Can I motivate myself?

On Monday, I felt like Gumby after I kicked several hundred times and stretched with a partner! I worked on the forms for the tournament though my legs were wobbly. I know that I should stretch every day. Maybe I can motivate myself to 1.) exercise, stretch and work on flexibility, 2.) eat healthy and 3.) practice hapkido techniques. At least, I record the food I eat on Fitnesspal. I invited my friend to lunch on Tuesday to celebrate her birthday. She will want to go to the grocery store too. She has been complaining that no one has sent her birthday cards. I sent her a card which I hope will arrive tomorrow. She is having cake with her friends on Thursday, getting together with her cousins on Sunday, enjoying dessert with her housemates and going to lunch with me. She is sad because her father died recently and this is her first birthday without him.

In-school tournament

Focusing and focusing on the 31 techniques (beggie ho shin sool and 16 low blocks) that I am performing next Monday at the dojang for the in-school tournament. I recruited a designer,our bank courier who is a martial artist, my son and two sales associates to watch me do practice runs. One time the floor was slippery, another I had a wrong foot forward, another I muffed it up and had to start over. It's good to get these problems ironed out in practice, so that I can perform well at the tournament. I remind myself to drop to a low x-stance, to keep my feet parallel in the riding stance, and to come all the way around with hoi jeons. Plan to practice extensively until Monday.

Congratulations Jamaican Bobsled Team!

Their equipment did not arrive on time, their luggage was lost, but in their interview yesterday, Marvin Dixon and Winston Watts were smiling as they spoke with an interviewer who handed the team a lucky egg. 4.41 seconds separated the Jamaican team from the top team. The thrill of training, the success of qualifying, the excitement of competition-- congratulations Marvin and Winston on your success!

Sochi Olympics

The Sochi Olympics and Valentine's Day week are running concurrently. My husband is keeper of the remote, and prefers other programming to the games. I did see Jamie Anderson's exhilarating and flawless final snowboard run to take the gold. I also watched the couple's ice dancing and so enjoyed the breath taking performances by the medal winners--Russia won the gold, skating to music from Swan Lake, Canada the silver and the United States the bronze, skating to music from Scherezade. Jenny Jones won the first ever snow medal for the UK. Congratulations! I'm looking forward to the men's speed skating this afternoon. I have been working at the branch store by myself so have not been a part of the Valentine Day busyness at the big store. Home today and scheduled to work through Saturday.

More Snow

I remember tbe winter in the early 2000s when we had 73 inches of snow. 31 inches in January and more coming down. A possible rise in temps causing a mix of snow and sleet. I hope it misses this area so that I don't have to drive home in it. The owner is encouraging the sales associates to procure early Valentine orders. He will pay for each order and the person who gets the most will get lunch and a bonus. I try but so far only have one order. Because of the weather, store and phones are quiet.

Taking Control

I am practicing hapkido forms for an in-school tournament in March. After several seconds, I was struggling to breathe. I need to take control here--walking, eating well, breathing exercises, maybe do the 21 yoga sessions that I downloaded. Definitely the moment to seize the day. I filled out a survey yesterday about my chakra and though it looked like I was in control, I know that is a lie. Everyone about me controls me. However on a positive note, I have dealt with my winter doldrums with books, candles and hot chocolate and enjoying the sunshine on a cold winter day!

I find sequels disappointing

Twenty-eight and a half wishes by Denise Grover Swank is a delightful read. The main character, Rose Gardner, shows resilience, ingenuity and loyalty. Our town library does not carry the sequel Twenty nine and a half reasons, so I ordered it from another local library. I got an email letting me know that a book had come in, but wouldn't you know it was the first book! So I called and asked to send that book back and to forward the sequel. I read it last night. Parts of it bother me. First, her lover continually calls her "darlin." Ugh! And why in the world would Rose leave a coffee shop with a killer? Doesn't she know that one never leaves the site where one is accosted? Why didn't she scream the house down? Why not kick, punch, drop to the floor? And the final scene is a replay of book one in many respects. And the die was cast. I could see that the relationship with the lover was going downhill. How sad! I am finished with the series after reading the reviews of book three, a novella and book five. Not the first time. One of my favorite fictional detectives became pregnant and I can just see her waddling around with a big tummy, knocking things over and solving crimes. I think she's forty years old too, and with having a baby and being up all night, can't see her as being much fun.

Left the charger at the store

One of the best features on my Asus Transformer Prime is the kindle application. I have a choice of free or inexpensive e-books. Generally, I download the free books, although I have to be careful as there are inexpensive books thrown in with the free, and it is easy to click on them and then notice that they are not free. Last evening, I was happily reading a book about a psychopathic killer when the tablet's low battery notice came on. I had packed my tablet, food, pharmacy (for my cold), shoes to wear to work today, purse to bring home, but apparently I left the charger at the flower shop. So in the midst of the mystery, my tablet turned itself off! Snow today and a slippery run to the other store, so I guess I have to wait til tomorrow to finish the book. I am a bit better, but not up to par. I am grateful that I had the cold before business picks up at the store. I can't imagine working lots of hours feeling as bad as I do.

Brightening the day

Feeling sick

I have a cold--watery eyes, sneezing, stuffy nose. I had to cancel a trip to the nail salon with my mother. I cannot take the chance of exposing my 86 year old mother to my germs. I canceled my martial arts class for the same reason. I am resting, drinking hot tea and eating hot chicken soup. I will work tomorrow--just me and the customers. I will wipe everything down with chlorox wipes and keep my distance. My husband got a cold first and though I carefully washed my hands, I got it too.

Flowers

Shopping

I tried on the pants that I bought when I went shopping with my daughter and discovered why trying pants on at the store is a good idea! So last night, after work I drove to the store to return them. Few cars on the road, so a surprisingly pleasant drive. I exchanged the pants and browsed picking up some zebra patterned slippers, hand lotion (because I can never have enough), trail mix and some other items. I knew the pants would be too long so set to work cutting off the factory hem and shortening the pants. Alas! They were still too long, so I took out the hem and tried again. Once I'm home, I will press them and try them on, hoping the length is right this time around. My husband has a cold and is feeling miserable. A friend stopped at the flower shop to say hello. He brought me a chicken wrap! So very thoughtful!

Snowy mist

On Monday, after work I went to the funeral home to spend some time with my friend. I looked through a photo album especially enjoying the pictures of my friend and her parents. I left promising that I would return on Tuesday for the funeral Mass. No family member reminisced about his life and I missed the opportunity to laugh and remember. I atended the luncheon after the service. My dog kept me awake that evening, so I was enjoying some morning sleep when my son called to ask me to drive him to the doctor. He was experiencing pain when he breathed and rapid heartbeats. The doctor did an EKG, drew blood and took a chest x-ray which showed a mass on his lung. Prescibed an inhaler. We picked up lunch and I drove my son back to work. My daughter's friend is competing on the game show Jeopardy so neighbors and friends gathered at her family home to cheer her on. She won two games so far! Not a nice day here! Flying snow under grey skies!

They live in my memories.

My friend called me last night with the sad news that her dad died yesterday afternoon. I have known both her mom and dad for 37 years. They came to visit when my babies were born bringing handmade knitted booties. They shopped every Wednesday and we would chat over our carts. We were in church discussion groups together. My most recent memory is when he came into the flower shop to send a birthday arrangement to his sister. His eyes sparkled and he smiled in enjoyment. I will treasure his last Christmas card. I will miss him though I know he rests in the sweet arms of his wife who died four years ago. A very difficult week for us. On Monday, I was shocked when my husband ame home from bowling and told me that the league secretary died of a heart attack thirty minutes before the bowling start time.

"Gloomy Gus Day"

The skies are gray and the air is misty. My dad described a day like today as a "Gloomy Gus Day." I sent some tulips and roses to my Mother and Dad. I hope the flowers remind them of spring and brighten their day! I wish that I could send flowers and chocolates to all my friends!

Beautiful!

The sun is shining and the temperatures rose. I bundled up and took down the outside lights. The nets were dry and once the wire became pliable, I tucked the sets into their boxes. Once the chore was finished, I rewarded myself with ramen and tea!

Safe Inside!

Though I have put away the inside Holiday decorations, the outside lights will be up until the temperatures rise. Even with the heat on, my fingers hurt the entire drive home last night. Neither my son or my husband could start his car. The cold drained the battery! So grateful to have a warm house to wait out the polar vortex! My husband commented once again how our two recently adopted stray felines would have died in the sub zero temps! The cats bring to mind the homeless and gratitude to the folks who have provided for them through the storm.

The Holidays

The last two weeks have been filled with laughter and enjoyable meals with family and friends . It is amazing that all visitors arrived and left as scheduled in spite of the snow and freezing temperatures. Such a wonderful holiday! I am working at the branch store today as the manager lives further away. I am looking forward to days off on Wednesday and Thursday. My daughter gave me Bob Tarte's book Kitty Cornered and I am laughing at the antics of his felines. Also discovered author Denise Grover Swank and enjoyed her Rose Gardner mystery, Twenty and a Half Wishes. Hope the sequel is as fun and not formulaic!