Willie Nelson

Last week, I happened to read an article in AARP about country singer, Willie Nelson. I was amazed that at age 81, he just received his 5th dan in a form of martial arts. The news came at an opportune time because I had been seriously considering retiring from hoi jeon moo sool. Not because I'm frustrated, I am not, but because I feel I am frustrating my instructor. who is also my brother-in-law. I have difficulty with concepts and visualization and performing techniques. My brother-in-law has tried several different ways to help me improve. And as I told my dad, even as I struggle to improve, I am getting older and less able to jump and do other things. Struggling with the decision to retire, I had cut two identical pieces of paper, writing an "S" on one for stay, and a "Q" on the other for quit. Highly scientific, I know. However, I got the paper with the "S" and then read about Willie Nelson and getting his 5th dan. Now, maybe it will never happen that I am awarded my black belt. But I did achieve the two goals I had set for myself--compete in a tournament and win a medal during my training in hoi jeon moo sool. And most of the time, I enjoy class, except when my brother-in-law says "You always act like you don't know the techniques. Visualize the attack." It bothers me because each class is a new and different day, and perhaps this will be the day that I perform a technique five times correctly without erring, or a light bulb goes off in my head, and I actually do visualize a technique. It is much better to think, "This time I made a mistake," not "Every time I perform 16 low blocks, I err on block 5!" Those thoughts become self fulfilling. Ask any basketball player who misses each and every free throw.