Mail Gone Awry

On Thursday morning, I put three letters in our mailbox.  I wrote a thank you note to my mother and dad for the wonderful Christmas dinner and generous gifts that they gave us.  Now, my parents live two miles away, but I know my mother enjoys pretty cards and reading letters.  It brightens her day.  So I trusted the postal service to deliver this special note.  And while I was at it, I found a Blue Mountain Card for my sister, "The Story of Two Different Sisters."  For whatever reason or reasons, my sister has been having a bad time of it, has alienated me, and it made me feel better to send her the card.  And since I didn't want my brother to feel left out, decided to send him a special Blue Mountain card too.  Imagine my horror, when I came home and found that my parents card had been returned to me, "unable to forward.'  They have lived in the house my dad built since I was in 6th grade!  I called my father and told him, and he said, "Maybe they didn't know I died!"  I answered,, "Yes, they couldn't deliver it in Heaven!"  How exasperating!  So tomorrow, I will drive the 2 miles and hand the card to my mother and pick up some oranges.  I received a thank you from my sister who told me she loved the "Story of Two Different Sister" card.  Yes, I am different from her....my hair is dark, she is blonde, I am shorter than she, the views from our windows are different, and our life challenges are not the same.  But through it all our lives have always been and will always be entwined as is the trunk of a money tree.

New Year's Day Birthday

My son will be 27 years old on New Year's Day.  On a cold day, we ran up to the hospital three times to try to get labor started.  When finally it did start, I knocked on the tv room at the hospital, "having a baby here...need a bit of help", as everyone was watching the Rose Bowl.  I suppose that is why my son is such an avid sports fan.  It doesn't matter which sport--football, baseball, soccer, hockey--ask him, and he can tell you percentages, statistics, who is picked to win.  My husband has planned a wonderful birthday dinner.  We will start with shrimp and cocktail sauce, chips and dip.  Then grill steaks and have baked potatoes.  Later we will try out the new chocolate fountain that I got from my daughter for Christmas.  We will melt chocolate and dip pretzels and strawberries.  My husband is making  a gift too.  He is assembling a driver with a new shaft and grip.

Worries

I just got off the phone with my dad.  He has a urinary tract infection and is on antibiotics.  More worrisome is his weight loss and the possible cause.  Blood work to see if his liver is functioning properly.  There is no use  researching liver problems until the test comes back, when we know what the issue is.  At work, I have been packing Christmas ornaments and other decor to put into storage.  I have tried to position merchandise so that the store looks attractive.  Actually I enjoy the neatness of the store with less clutter.  Today, I emptied the trash from the wastebasket into the dumpster.  I couldn't get the cellophane wrappers out, so gave the basket a good shake, which promptly caused the basket to fall out of my hand into the dumpster.  Today was garbage pickup day, so the wastebasket fell way down.  I went into the flower shop to get the broom.  I put the handle of the broom in the basket and steered it out of the dumpster so that I could reach it.  A very intricate maneuver worthy of a surgeon.  I drove my son to the bus and he is on his way to Chicago.  It was nice to see the bus waiting and on time!  I sent my parents a thank you for the fabulous Christmas dinner and gifts, and a card to my brother and sister.  I found two Blue Mountain cards with appropriate messages.  Though it might not change either siblings perception of me, it changed my feelings toward them.

Winter Storm Advisory

It began snowing around 11:30am.    The expressway was clear so I had no trouble driving to work.  Throughout the afternoon, I listened to traffic reports. Many accidents due to the snowy driving conditions and an advisory to stay home as 3-6 inches of snow is expected.  I left work around 6pm, scraped the ice and snow off the car.  I decided to drive through the city...more people around if I got into trouble.  It looked like folks had heeded the advice and stayed home, because traffic was light.  I arrived home to see my husband snowblowing the driveway and sidewalks.  The dogs wanted  to go outside so I let them out.  A few minutes later, my son asked, "Isn't that Maui?"  The gate had been left open, and Maui, the mini dachsund, romped down the driveway and raced up the front sidewalk into the house.    It is so comfy to sit at home while the snow turns the city into a winter wonderland.

The Red Santa Hat

Yesterday, I peeked out my window, and it had snowed...not a lot, but enough to cover the branches of the trees and make the outside a winter wonderland.  I wrapped my red scarf around my neck, put on my coat and knew exactly what I needed to finish the outfit!  Hastening to my room, I opened my dresser drawer and pulled out my fuzzy red Santa hat.  Setting it jauntily on my head, I hurried outside, hopped into my car (after scraping off the ice and snow) and drove carefully to work.  The roads were in good shape but folks were concentrating on errands, and it seemed prudent to pilot the car with an extra bit of caution.  The parking lot at the branch store was an ice skating rink as were the sidewalks.  I had to be very careful when I walked over to the coffee shop to buy some donut holes and M & Ms.
The customers at the flower shop were amused by the bright red hat.   I sold some items and it was a fairly good day sales-wise.  I wore my red hat again today and will wear it tomorrow and Monday.  Hopefully it will put holiday shoppers in a happy mood and will help make the Christmas season a profitable one for the flower shop owners.

Letter to Connecticut

Dear Connecticut,

My heart has been heavy and troubled since Friday.  My thoughts are with all the families and friends affected by the terrible tragedy.  If I could rewind time, I would.  If I could do anything, to spare you this awful pain, I would without a moment's hesitation.   Please  know that your loved ones' smile or special talent will always be remembered, that your precious son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, wife, or mother will always be alive in my heart.   And really, truly, there are no adequate words...none at all.

Giggles and laughter
Motion and stillness
Eyes bright with curiousity
Sibling rivalry
Football, swimming and dance
Bike riding, DVDs and reading
Pizza, apples and brownies
Memories of you.

Mother Daughter Time

 
This morning my 17 year old daughter and I drove to the clinic.  After the appointment, we headed across the street to the mall to buy some Christmas presents.  We arrived a half hour before most of the stores opened.  The Apple store was open, so we checked out the i-pad mini.  My daughter considered buying it for her brother, but changed her mind.  After Apple, we walked over to the Windsor store.  I was looking for a dress for my 23 year old daughter.  She had sent me a link, but I waited too long to order, and the warehouse was out of her size.  There are only five left in the country...none in my area.  Then on to the technology store, Brookstone.  Amazingly, my daughter had browsed through the catalog and was familiar with the items.  So she chose a gift for her dad, and one for her 32 year old sister.  At Von Maur, we found a dress. It will be beautiful at a special dinner or on New Year's Eve.  The trip was a success, because my daughter chatted away.  "I like these moccasins.  Look how the ones I have don't have fleece (slipping off her shoe).  And look at these tops.  I like stripes."  Then on to Hollister to purchase some other gifts.  Such excitement as my daughter spotted  remote control helicopters in many stores. At home we wrapped gifts and made grilled cheese.  I stirred up a batch of pumpkin bread mix and spooned the batter into muffin papers.  The delicious smell of baking filled the house.  Delicious....warm  from the oven!

Advent

On Monday, I drove to my sister's church and attended an Advent service. First dessert and then into the church for inspirational talks and music.  I am challenged to show peace, joy, hope and love to other people.  Working on it.  A bit hard when I substituted for a coworker today, and my boss says, "What are you doing here?"  She thought I was scheduled to work the branch store today.  Now you know that I don't want to work there, she knows it too, and I suspect that she assumed I took matters in my own hands and didn't show up!  So I worked until the afternoon workers arrived (one a half hour late) came home, took some pain reliever for a headache, went downstairs and hauled up the outdoor lights and commenced decorating outside.  The earthy smells and 36 degree temperatures reminded me of the good times I had playing outside when I was young.  I suppose putting up Christmas lights could be considered playing.  Yesterday, I decorated the inside of the house. I set up the Christmas village...houses, churches, Big Ben and a lighthouse.   Santa and his pet Christmas dog are coming in the wooden boat laden with gifts.  Only one little sledder knows of the emminent arrival of St. Nick.  The Nativity Village is up too...musicians, dogs, geese, children bearing eggs, Pillsbury Dough Boy even a fantastical dragon (at least I think it's a dragon).  The Christmas tree sits in the corner and  candles and pinecones scent the room.

Vessel spasms or something else?

Though my husband's cardiologist reassured us that the small vessel spasms are unlikely to cause a heart attack, we are still concerned.  Hubby still has upper chest pain, two or three spells a day.  He surmises that the medication is not doing anything.  The cardiologist
suggested that hubby exercise...the body would recognize that it is not getting enough oxygen and grow new small vessels.  But then again, the diagnosis is built on what the condition is not.  A stress test showed that hubby has good blood flow, hence the pain is not caused by a blockage.  It niggles at me....is the pain caused by vessel spasms?

Comfortable with myself

Golden rays, smiling on me
Geese honking, in a vee
Laughter in the air
As if I didn't have a care
In all the world.

A cup of lemon herbal tea
As I sit and ponder what should be
Feeling contentment and peace
And receiving a new lease
On life.

Realizing today that I do not want
To build myself up at the expense of others.
Affirmation yesterday that my zaniness is a part of me
And how borning it would be
If we were all the same.

So let me meet them then.
The woman who is high
The man who is hard of hearing or shy?
Not sure.
The lady who brought her sister's planter
To have gyp added.
The gazer lady who has attention deficit
And all the people in between.

In a better place

I am in a happier place than I was two weeks ago.  I've lost stamina due to the infection that I had.  Fitness day at the dojang was a joke.  The two family dinners have come and gone.  I WILL have to work the branch store, but since it is a fait acompli will move on.  I invited my friend, who I have known for 30 years, to lunch.  It was very pleasant.  She focuses  on whether or not she is going to get a third soda from the waitress, walking with her cane, and chips and soda from the grocery store.  She does not care to listen to my problems.  However, she certainly does not gossip, nor does she demean.   As a matter of fact, I overheard her tell a staff member at the club, that I "am so sweet!"  It was a sunshiny, coolish day... a perfect day to enjoy the company of a woman who I think of as a little sister.  Advent begins on Sunday.  I needed new pink and purple candles, but the store did not have them, so ended up with 3 burgundy and 1 white.  Guadate Sunday will be white this year!  Why not, really?  Am doing flea eliminations.  Buddha, the cat, came in with fleas and transferred them to brothers and sisters.  So off to the store to buy flea drops, flea comp and flea shampoo.  I vacuum the carpet and upholstery, upstair and downstair every day.  When I comb out Buddha, I wear my winter jacket and one glove, so that when he gets angry and swipes, he will not draw blood.  Spoke with hubby's cardiologist and am not overly worried about the small vessel spasms.  Exercise should help new vessels to grow. 

Uplifting

I returned from Church today, and my husband was listening to the evangelist Joel Osteen.  It was providential, because his subject today was "thinking positively about oneself.'' No more, "I'm too fat!  I'm not pretty!  I'm disorganized!"  How appropriate for me today.  Someone I loved demeaned me for days.  The same person gossips with my hairdresser about me.  A family member called me "bitter" and a friend commented that my writing "seems unfinished."  But Joel told a story about a student who was told to set his sights low as he didn't have much intelligence.  And so the man did, working at the same factory job for many years.  Eventually, the company closed and he moved on to apply at a new company.  As part of the hiring process, the employee had to take an IQ test.  He scored highest of anyone in the factory's 63 history!  So this man started his own company and went on to patent two devices.   Now my boss has affirmed me in every way, "You can do anything you set your mind to!"  So, tho, the past couple weeks have been bruising and derimental, I will put them behind me and carry on.

Thinking

Difficult work, getting my head in order.  Last night, my husband and I watched the movie "Twelve Wishes."  As a result of the wishes, a woman's life turned upside down.  In the end she discovered that by thinking about other people, she received everything she wanted and needed.  Perhaps it is good advice, because it forces one to think of other things besides oneself.  Too much introverted thinking can cause my head to hurt.  I realized also that I have not been getting any exercise.  Need to get those endomorphins hopping to offset the gloomy, grey weather.

Removing myself from negativity

I am trying to figure out my options.  At least Thanksgiving dinnner for my husband's side of the family is behind me  now.  The event was "meals on wheels" as we transported turkey and trimmings to my nephew's house.  Very strange working in a foreign kitchen. However we had enough food for 24 people and to date, no one has had the deathly illness that felled ten of us last year.  I have to work at the branch store.  I was not invited to contribute my thoughts to the store set up.  The owner called me into the office remarking that my coworker is the manager and that I am the "consultant."  I dislike the long hours and the conflict between yoga, hapkido and work.  Bossiness and negativity bruises me and  herein lies the biggest problem.  Am thinking of removing myself from the source of bossiness and negativity.  I have thought for a second about Christmas.  Will start with a list and progress from there.

My Head

Ideas are swirling round and round
Need to get my feet back on the ground.
It doesn't help that I've been ill
And had to take an antibiotic pill.
Life's too short to put up with folk
Who think of me as a joke.
Folks who control, reprimand and boss
To associate with them is MY loss.
I should tell them how I feel
And achieve an even keel.
Work too is up in the air
I really don't want to work there
In the outpost far away
And spend many a day.
Don't want to put up with criticism any more
Anxious to try yoga where the score
Is encouragement and praise and benefit.
My dad is not feeling well
A diagnosis will tell
If it is something serious.
Hubby too is having pain
After hospital stay and appointments again.
But getting back to the beginning of this rant
To associate with people who stress me, I can't.

Costa Rica! Me gusta mucho!

 I returned early Tuesday am from my Costa Rican adventure!  Nine days in the beautiful country of cloud forests, volcanoes, coffee plantations, churches, jungles and wonderful, helpful people!  I landed at Juan Santamaria airport in San Jose, a modern airport.  From there, I took a taxi ride to San Rafael de Heredia where my villa was located.  A quick tour of
San Rafael and then dinner at El Barco de los Mariscos.   I enjoyed the delicately blended flavors of sopa de mariscos and cinamaron con arroz.  On Monday, we took the bus to Santa Barbara and then a taxi to Finca Rosa Blanca, a cofee plantation.  I tromped through the coffee, wild iris, and banana trees and learned about the making of coffee.  Then back to the Finca to taste test coffee.  The next day, we took a taxi to the Museo de Cultura Popular and toured the home and gardens of a former president.  Wednesday, we drove to Cartago to see the beautiful iglesia and tour the Lenkester gardens.  Very peaceful in the jardines of bromelias and Japanese garden.  Thursday...a drive up the mountain, through the cloud forest to Volcan Arenal.  We stopped to dine at Los Lagos and I bought a richly colored painting of a bespectacled owl.  Driving to the volcano, we climbed to the scenic lookout, but it was raining, so we couldn't see much.  My daughter and I climbed the lava trail and were rewarded at the top with a panoramic view.  Monkeys were next on our list, so we drove to Manuel Antonio National Park where I dipped my feet in the Pacific Ocean underneath the starlit sky.  We spent the night at the International Backpackers Hostel.  At 5:30am, the dawn became alive with the sound of howler monkeys and jungle birds.  In the park, we watched curiously as monkeys leaped and played in the trees.  Sunday I attended Mass at Iglesia San Rafael and walked through the outdoor market.  We took the bus to Heredia where I shopped and purchased some items.   Home now, but I will always remember this wonderful exciting country!

Costa Rica! Starting at bottom...view from Finca Rosa Blanca coffee plantation, San Rafael de Heredia, Lenkester Garden Cartago, On the way to Manuel Antonio National Park

National Novel Writing Month

On the first of November, I will begin writing as part of National Novel Writing Month.  My goal is 50,000 words!  Last March, someone invaded our home, and stole two laptops...mine and my daughter's.  All my writing was on my Asus laptop.  I hadn't the foresight to back it up on disc.  So my stories are long gone.  My novella of a mother who leaves husband and daughter for warmer climates.  She meets some interesting new people and reads books on DVD to make some money.  Eventually husband and daughter come visit  her, and after a while she returns home to a find yellow ribbons on every silver maple in her yard!  I started writing a novel of a total totalitarian anti-feminist government, but my main character was stymied at every turn.   Perhaps the thief figured out how to get the main character out of her predicament!  One year, when spring began to tease with sunshine but still-nippy, weather, I wrote the poem "The Sun."  It was a poem of hope--that spring would warm the coldness that I felt deep within my soul.  I grieved for my lost writing but was encouraged when my daughter spoke up.  "You write so fast, you will have new stories in no time."   I look forward to November 1st, the official first day of legal writing!  Let the writing begin!

Henry, our Halloween visitor

I stuffed the sweatshirt with pillows, and the legs of the pants with old towels.  Gathering the sweatshirt, pants, athletic shoes and the smiling pumpkin head, I headed to the front porch. After assembling the parts, I stepped back to critique my work.  The wind nearly tore off my hat, so I secured a scarf around "Henry" the pumpkin man's neck to hold on his head..  He smiled at me, as if to say "Tomorrow, on Halloween eve, I will welcome the trick or treaters." I headed into the house to make dinner and then checked to see how Henry was doing.   Bats in the belfry!  He was headless.  I rushed outside to find his head in a bush!  This time around, I stuck the visor of his cap (he likes to wear his hat backward) down his sweatshirt.  Only time will tell.  I poured bags of goodies into the bowl and placed the bowl on the hutch (out of the reach of the dogs).  We are ready.  Happy Halloween!

Every year at Halloween, Henry the pumpkin man comes to visit.

Blue Skies on the Island

We are home

Three  dreamlike days. A drive 280 miles north to the ferry parking lot.  Unloading bikes and luggage, buying tickets for the ferry to the island.  The seas were rough that day, and spray glistened on the windows.  No one braved the open upper deck.  All rode below as the boat went up and down.   Once the ferry docked,  my husband and I rode our bikes to the hotel and after wandering a bit, found the front desk.  Our room overlooked Lake Huron.  We relaxed in our bright, cheerful room and the strode to the dining room for dinner.  700 or so people dine on any given night.  After dinner, we explored the hotel.  The next morning was misty but warm, so the two of us browsed the shops.  We met a woman who lives in St. Ignace but her inlaws live on the island.  After lunch, my husband and I rode our bicycles in the heart of  the island  We visited the golf course, new condos, the houses on the bluff.  This morning, we watched a gorgeous sunrise.  A beautiful day to ride on leaf covered paths around the island.  Back in the downtown area, we waited for the ferry that would take us across Lake Huron to the mainland where our car and luggage waited.  And then a safe trip home.

Exploring the Island

On the island

Tomorrow we are driving 300 miles to Mackinac City.  We will park the van and take the ferry to Mackinac Island in Lake Huron.  Once on the island, we will hop aboard a horse drawn wagon and ride to the hotel.  We have visited the island before, but this will be our first overnight visit.  We plan to dine at the hotel, ride our bikes around the 8-mile perimeter of the island if the weather permits, browse the shops.  It will be fun to photograph the lake and the scenery.   A special time to relax and enjoy each other's company....just the two of us.

In sickness and in health

I really need to work on empathy with regard to people and their illnesses.  My friend whines on facebook, "I have a cold.  I'm tired.  My stomach and head hurts."  My husband woke me up this morning, "I think I want to go to the hospital."  So I dressed, ate and drove him to the hospital. His EKG shows a difference from his previous EKG, unexplained valleys.   Tomorrow he will have a stress test and if he passes, he will come home.  After a couple hours at the hospital, my husband said, "You can go home if you want to."  And I did want to.  I don't want to spend  my days off sitting up at the hospital.  He is stable, I am 10 minutes away.  I think of our wedding promises many years ago, "in sickness and in health" and I feel that my husband deserves someone more comforting and understanding.

Home Again

I returned home  last evening after spending a few days at my parents' home.  My dad went on a vacation and I visited with my mother.  I had not spent the night at my childhood home since I married 37 years ago.  I was very comfortable except for the lack of internet access, but octogenerians have little use for wifi.  Before he drove off, my father went around the house showing me how to close blinds, turn on night lights and lamps.  Funny though, he did not mention that my mother's power chair is plugged into a wall outlet that works by a switch.  So the first morning, my mother's aide noticed that the chair didn't work.  Eventually a light bulb went off in my head and I realized that that when I turned off the switch for the lamp, I had turned off the power to her  chair.  I learned how to give an insulin injection, screw on the needle, take off 2 caps, dial to the proper dosage, slowly depress the plunger.  Not so scary after all.  I tried to find items to interest my mother--a guest book from her 60th wedding anniversary, children's fairy tales, Beatrix Potter stories, Scrabble, china teasets,  a photo book.  I made meals that were easy to swallow.  Chicken noodle soup, stuffed peppers, pot roast, eggs on toast.  We talked and talked.  We watched vapor trails in the blue sky, the small maple tree sway in the breeze, a tandem reclining bicycle with two wheels in the front, one in the back and a colorful flag.   We watched two young men load a motor scooter in a station wagon and take off with the hatch up.  We observed joggers and bicyclists.  We watched the neighbor and his two boys come home after school.  I tried to figure out this dementia, where at times my mother is spot on, and other times where she combines two different thoughts.  I laughed when she cracked a joke and sighed in relief when she safely traversed from her chair to the bathroom, around the kitchen or to her bedroom.

Getting ready for Costa Rica

My niece is studying massage therapy in Costa Rica.  She leaves next month.  My sister, daughter and I are going down for a week to keep her company.  And sightsee!  I've been doing some research.  Along with enjoying the restaurants and shops, I would enjoy visiting the butterfly farms, volcano, and parks.  I came home from work one day, and my passport had arrived!  The next day, my absentee ballot was delivered.  I will be in San Jose the day of the election.  I still need to buy some colones.  A close call at work.  A customer ordered six pink and white arrangements for a baby shower today.  She called yesterday to ask how the flowers would be packed for transport.  I told her, and then decided to go check the arrangements. When I went into the cooler, I found that the designer had made only one arrangement!  Our designer  immediately made the other five--it took an hour.  I can only imagine what would have happened if the customer had come in and there had been only one arrangement.  It would not have been a good start to the work day for me!  The owner of the flower shop signed a lease on a space for the new branch store.  The building has to be renovated...new carpet, linoleum and recessed lighting.  The cooler has to be installed.  So it will probably be six weeks before it opens.  It's been 5 months since the former branch store was closed and my thoughts and focus are on other things--my parents, husband, hapkido and my daughters' graduation and wedding.

Congratulations!

After more than five years, my daughter will graduate from the university with a marketing degree in December!  She has worked hard and long, persevered in spite of setbacks, and now the prize, her degree, is in sight!  Congratulations!  Soon she will be embarking on new adventures,  different apartment, new job, unfamiliar city.  She will "spread her wings and fly."  An accomplishment to celebrate!

Playing with technology

I spent many hours writing a story on my Android tablet, only to discover that the free app that I was using had several bugs.  After researching online, I purchased a replacement app.  However, I now have to learn how to download the program.  It looks to me that I am downloading a trial version and that I have three or four copies of it.  How do I place an icon on the tablet, so that I click on it?  I need help!  I called to make an appointment with tech service, and for $9.99 I will get some assistance.  I was reading about a blogger who uses several apps for his site.  How did he become an expert?   She told me that he learned  by playing with his Android tablet.    Technology can be a "boon or bane" to borrow my friend's words.  Downright frustrating if you ask me.  Documents that disappear, wireless that goes out unexpectedly, browers that don't respond, photos that refuse to be cropped...

Song lyrics and enunciation

Now I know why every good choir director teaches singers to enunciate. I wondered why Ariel, the Little Mermaid, sang about "pregnant women, ready to stand. The correct lyrics are "bright young women, ready to stand." More recently, in Adele's Set Fire to the Rain I thought that the beginning lyrics were in French. My coworker told me the actual lines , but I don't remember them. Every time I hear the opening lines, I believe that Adele is singing in French. And today, after struggling with the words, "I'm a rubber duck. I'm a rubber duck (can't be!) I'm a rubber duff?" my daughter went online and found the lyrics. They are not about a rubber duck or even a rubber duff!

Organizing my life and writing

For the past week or so, I have been attempting to organize my life.  This means taking the six or so responsibilities that I have and incorporating them into a schedule.  Some are easy...I have set times.  Work, church, hapkido classes are programmed into the day.  However, certain activities, such as technique practice, exercise, writing and quiet time need to be incorporated.  And If I am not inclined to practice, if I am not motivated, I won't do it.  Which explains why promoting to the next level is such a struggle, and why my martial arts master is pulling his mustache with frustration!  Some of my hobbies are fitting well.  Chatting online and reading, for instance.  And I have begun writing again.  I am working on the story of Meg, a 13 year old whose life fell apart when her father inexplicably disappeared.  At the present, she is a mess, both physically and emotionally.  A friendly gray squirrel, SQ, has come to help her.

Costa Rica

My niece will be traveling in November to Costa Rica to learn massage therapy.  My sister mentioned that she was going to visit her.  From the time I was in high school and had a friend from Costa Rica, I have wanted to visit the beautiful country in Central America.  I visualize blue skies, tropical palms, pristine beaches, excellent cuisine.  So when opportunity arose, I grabbed it with both hands.  Now years ago, ages ago, I had a passport. However, if I want to go to Costa Rica, I need an updated one.  Last night I began the process.  I filled in the DS11 form and my husband and I got passport pictures taken.  With much difficulty, my husband printed out the form.  This morning I went to work for a while, and then when my coworker arrived, I drove to the post office.  "I'd like to apply for a passport please, " I told the woman behind the counter.  "We accept applications between 10 and 3, Monday through Friday."  I looked at my watch...9am!  "Thank you."   I smiled and left.  I chatted with my coworkers, and decided that it might be a good idea to take money from the ATM just in case debit cards were not accepted.  Driving back to the post office, the same woman started to help me.  "Since the old passport was in your maiden name, you need to provide a marriage certificate."  In my sling bag, I had my birth certificate and passport photos--in my wallet my driver's license.  I had no marriage certificate.  Since my parents' house is on my way home and I had to get the marriage certificate, I thought it was worth a try to make a quick search of my parents' home for the old passport. No luck there!  I came home retrieved the marriage certificate and drove back to the post office for the third time.  "You're back!" the woman stated.  She helped me through the process, double checking the information.  It was time to pay up.  "You can pay with a money order or check."  No problem since I could buy a money order .  I called my sister to say, "Guess who's going to Costa Rica!"  For 5 or 10 minutes, I heard my sister screaming happily in my ear.

Basil and begonia

Which genre?

I left the Writer's Conference with the urge to write! An animal rescue and haven is sponsoring a writing competition and fundraiser.  I want to save dogs from a death sentence by entering this contest.  Which genre?  Poetry or Romance? Mystery or SciFi? Suspense or Horror?Teen or Children's?  So fun making decisions!  In the past  I have written about a woman leaving home and living an adventure for three months, a novel about a 13 year old girl who is befriended by a talking squirrel named SQ, a story of a young woman who joined the underground to overthrow an anti feminist totalitarian government.  My coworker writer friend told me to write about the subject that I can't stop talking about!  Well that would be that I feel like a sandwich, tugged this way and that by the people in my life.  Today I worked, zipped by the store to buy some new shoes.  The tread on my old shoes was worn out and walking on water slick surfaces was treacherous.  I found some for $20.  I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning.  Four or so weeks ago, I chomped into some candy which was frozen!  My two back teeth hurt and eventually, part of  a filling fell out when I flossed.  So a new filling was installed, but I haven't felt comfortable inside my teeth.  Though she looked and took xrays, the hygenist could find no crack or other problem.  I suppose that is good news.

Writer's Conference

I wake before the alarm and get ready.  Carrying my purse and sling bag, I leave the house and feel the sunshine on my face.  There is dew on the back window of the car, so I wipe it off with a towel.  Lights and defroster on, I back down the driveway and point the car to the east and the library about 67 miles away.  I have googled the directions twice and cautiously written them with a big black sharpie on a piece of paper.  I spent some time studying the map, and I am confident that if I am careful and read the road signs that I will find the library and the writer's conference with no difficulty.  I am impressed by the large, brown brick library with the sun shining overhead.  No sooner, do I park the car and open the door when I hear, "We're so glad you're here!  I'm the president of the Writer's Association! What do you write?"  And so the day begins.  A delicious breakfast of bagels, breakfast rolls, fruit, dip, juice, coffee.  The President welcomes all to the writer's conference.  I find my first workshop "Out of the Horse's Mouth, Mistakes to Avoid."  I am pleasantly surprised to find that the author lives near me.  After the workshop she graciously lets me be photographed with her!  On to the second workshop, on micro fiction.I write some micro fiction and read it to the writers. After lunch, the keynote speaker addresses the group, reminding us that stories have a beginning, middle, end, that we all have tales to tell.  We smile and clap when she tells us that Hollywood producers are reading one of her novels.  I attend a workshop on Memoirs and on Harvesting Your Journal.  As awards are presented, I wipe a tear from my eye and congratulate the recipients.  I say farewell to my new writer friends and head home.

Birthday Celebration

For my 60th birthday, my sister and two friends invited me for a Girls' Night Out at a resort two or so hours away from home.  The girls arranged for three treatments at the spa..a Vichi shower and facial (which I had never had before) and a back massage.  I left the spa completely spoiled, trying  to figure out how to work it so I could get myself pampered every month or so!    We had a reservation at a restaurant in the resort..wine, appetizers, shrimp caprese and tirimisu!  So delicious!  We relaxed in our suite after our meal.  Today we drove home and stopped to browse the gift shop at the cider mill and to have a wonderful Chinese meal.  Thank you little sis and friends for a perfect birthday celebration!  So blessed to have a dear sister and friends.

Celebrating my birthday

Valuable and brave

Max is my labrador beagle.  We adopted him from the pound so I am not sure exactly how old he is...maybe eleven or twelve.  Max has an arthritic shoulder so he limps, has a bronchial condition aggravated by hot humid weather (he sleeps on the air vent which pours out cool air) and he has a benign tumor.  His hearing and eyesight are not as acute as they used to be.  Just a few days ago, Max returned from a camping trip where he enjoyed the company of his best friend, my daughter.  He rested peacefully on the soft sand at the park.  Back at home, he greets me with his unique beagle "arrrrooooooo."  He sniffs around the backyard, savoring the scents.  My mother is 84 and is dealing with dementia and mobility issues along with diabetes.  Every morning she gets up from bed and with the help of her walker, she moves into her special chair in the living room.  She watches out of the window and prays the sign of the cross..   She looks at newspaper ads and peruses the grocery receipt.  Sometimes she makes me laugh with a funny comment. And though she does not like it, I tell her that she is very brave.   Obviously Max and my mother have special needs that have to be addressed.  However, they are still as valuable and loved as they were before the health issues.

A Perfect Vacation

Last Thursday my parents, husband, daughter and I headed north 250 miles to the state park.  Settting up two camps was hot, sweaty work, so my daughter and I hit the beach.  As I floated around with a bright pink noodle, I noticed a skier behind a large airborne kite.  It looked like so much fun.  On Friday, my daughter and I pushed my mother in her wheelchair around the Cross in the Woods.  Amazingly, we were able to locate the two pavers we had bought several years ago.  They are near the statue of Kateri Tekawitha.  We stopped in the gift shop and purchased a unique tree topper and a beautiful sky-blue rosary and case.  Saturday I returned to the Cross in the Woods to attend Mass.  I  heartily sang "Rejoice!" and Amazing Grace in Odawa.  We celebrated my birthday with cake and ice cream and wonderful gifts.  On Sunday we drove to a Pub and Grill in Petoskey and 12 of us enjoyed a delicious meal overlooking Traverse Bay.  The waiter was attentive, the food delicous!  My favorite day--Labor Day.  Ten of us got up early and took the school bus across to St. Ignace.  We disembarked and began the 5 mile hike to Mackinac City.   Back at the park, my daughter grilled BBQ chicken legs.  On Tuesday we headed home, reveling in the perfect weather, yummy meals and enjoyable company.

Lake Huron from north side of Mackinac Bridge, Eating overlooking the Bay in Petoskey, Burt Lake State Park

Ready!

When planning a camping trip, I make a list.  A list of supplies to gather, food to pack, items we need from the store.  I spent the morning bringing up equipment from the basement, simmering some homemade chicken noodle soup for tomorrow's dinner (after we have set up camp), packing clothes, food and toiletries.  I will load the camper and van when my husband brings the van home from work.  Tomorrow morning, I need to pack the perishables in the cooler and pack a lunch.  Our estimated departure time is 9am.  We are heading 250 miles north to a state park.  A beautiful area....sandy beaches, clear water, amazing sunsets!

A Frog

About every other month, the greenhouse manager orders a shipment of plants and dishgardens from a greenhouse in Florida.  A husband and wife team drive the foliage to our store, back up the truck, and many hands unload the cartons and paper wrapped plants.  Along with the planters and peace lilies, we get some hitchhikers.  We have found lizards and frogs hiding in the leaves.  At the present time, a frog resides in the greenhouse.  It is a nice cozy habitat--places to hide, bugs to eat, pleasant temperature.  I haven't looked for her, but periodically she announces her presence.  I don't know her species.  She could be one of twenty-seven species of Floridian frogs.

The Greenhouse

Accomplished!

I accomplished much today.  Worked in the house, vacuumed the carpet, cleaned the bathrooms and cleared off the kitchen table.  My daughter, a high school senior, and I drove to the school to register.  She met with her counselor to change her schedule.  We came home just in time for me to drop her off and drive to my parents' home.  My mother had an appointment at the nail salon.  Nails trimmed and polished a pretty summer pink, we stopped at the sandwich shop and got a turkey and cheese.   The sandwich was a delight (she shared with my dad and me) and we looked at pictures of the flower shop and greenhouse and played a game of scrabble.  Back home I enjoyed a combination of hot dog, salad, yogurt, popcorn and granola bar.  I fielded a call from my friend who is blatantly asking that I take her to lunch.  She is playing the "I'm depressed" card.  I told her that we would "wait and see until next month."  After being scammed out of a tent, I am quite adamant that I won't be coerced into paying for a lunch.

If it's not one issue, it's another...

Early on Saturday morning, I drove to pick up two martial arts students and take them to the party at the lake.  I was looking forward to a relaxing day, but I had hardly sat down when my sister expressed concern for my dad.  After work yesterday, I stopped by to visit with my mother and dad.  I played scrabble, shared pictures of my trip and chatted. All seemed copacetic.   Today I thought that I'd stop by and give my dad some respite.  I discovered that my mother had twisted her knee yesterday, and she had taken a painkiller and was asleep.  My dad had hoped to travel next week, but now his plans are on hold, pending how well my mother's knee heals.  My dad needs more help with my mother, and if she can't walk, then she might have to go into a nursing home.  I also had a strange conversation with a coworker.  In essence, she was asking when I would give her a camping tent.  The initial conversation was so long ago that I can't recall it.  Did I offer her the loan of a tent, or to give her one?  I have no clue.  I found an old tent, some stakes and the directions and a new sleeping bag that a colleague had given me.  Today I gave them to her.  Remind me to keep my mouth shut around this woman.

Recovering peace and serenity

An unexpected and surprising result of my trip to Chicago was a feeling of serenity that lasted almost to the end of my work shift today.  It could have been leaving all my daily struggles behind, the day relaxing on the beach,  or exploring the city that provided me with a sense of peace.  A wonderful feeling, one that I am going to try to nurture.  Just five minutes before I was due to clock out, my coworker caused me to feel stress. She was making copies of employment applications, discussing the new branch store and talking about a potential firing.  All subjects that cause me anxiety.  I am feeling manipulated into working the branch store.  I am trying to recover the sense of peace and serenity.  I know I can do it.

Exploring Chicago

Montrose Beach, Chicago

A Day at the Beach

Many years ago, when our children were very young, we traveled to Chicago in the warmth of the summer.  In more recent years, I have visited in February, April, October and November.  Yesterday since it was a beautiful, warm sunny day, I choose to spend the day at Montrose Beach wading along Lake Michigan, reading, taking pictures and people watching.  After crossing under Lake Shore Drive, I came to the dog park at the beach.  All breeds and sizes of dogs, introverted and extroverted romped in Lake Michigan.  Some chased around, others fetched sticks and balls..some more vocal than others.  Moving along the beach about midmorning, I waded along the shoreline.  Eventually I went up the dunes, to walk along the old retaining wall.  The waters of Lake Michigan have receded, so the retaining wall is far up on the land.  I took a short sight seeing expedition through a flora and fauna sanctuary.  Emerging back on the path, I traversed the retaining wall past the retaining wall to the break wall.  I noticed the marina across the way.  A mild breeze drifted in making it a perfect day for sailing!  Sailboats glided quietly out of the marina.  Couples in lawn chairs watched the boats.  A group of children from a summer camp played barefoot soccer.  Men played whiffle ball and frisbee.  When I went into the restroom, two women and  two girls were shampooing a little white dog in the sink.  For lunch, I bought a hot dog, loaded it with condiments....mustard, ketchup, dill relish and onions, and chips and sat at the beach enjoying the sun on my face.

Harpo Studios

At the studio

I arrived at the studio and chatted with a woman who had flown into the studio from New Orleans.  She had a terrible time.   Her flight was three hours late, the hotel room reserved by the airline was not available but her credit card was charged, the new hotel room was dirty.  "I just feel like going home!" she moaned.  In the holding area at the studio, I sat across from a woman who laughed loudly and annoyingly and who complained that she was hungry.  Irritated with her, I felt like speaking up and saying, "It's a wonderful opportunity to come to a taping.  If you prefer to eat, then stay home!"  I attended a premiere of the new show "Iyanla, fix my life" and a taping of Oprah Lifeclass."  The subject of both was the devastation and destruction of family secrets.....the revelation that someone's parent is not his biological parent, staying quiet about sexual preference, money secrets from a spouse.  Shed a few laughs and tears and clapped my support  My son and I met two of his friends for appetizers, sushi and wine.   A wonderful evening.

Chicago

 
 
 
I'm in Chicago!   The  bus arrived an hour late due to construction but finally luggage and one curtain  rod was stowed, reservation numbers were checked and we were on our way.  The bus was fully loaded, so I found a seat at a table with four other folks...a man returning home to a Chicago suburb, a grandmother going to babysit her 6-month old granddaughter.   I chatted and found out that she makes the trip from her home every Sunday and returns on Thursday.  Also, met a young man studying theology at Moody.   I enjoyed sitting with these folks.  My son offered to meet the bus which thrilled me.  We stopped at the grocery store to get celebration items--corn chips and freshly made salsa, pizza, Asian salad and cantaloupe.  Felt bad because my son had to be at work early the next morning and we were burning the midnight oil.  He went off to work early and I followed later.  I hopped on the red line, got off at a stop to make sure I was heading the correct direction,  inadvertantly missed my stop later, wandered the city for a minute until I found the correct CTA bus to take me to the studio.  Once at the studio, I went in search of breakfast.  Had a delicious piece of banana walnut bread and a banana.

In Chicago!

My 10,000 Step Route

The Windy City

I am heading to my most favorite city--The Windy City. I have passed on my enjoyment of this beautiful city to my daughters. They drive to Chicago and visit the Navy Pier and wander the city. I will work on Sunday at the flower shop and then in the afternoon catch the bus. My coworker and I discussed car vs bus, and she said, "why not take the bus? Sit back and enjoy!" I am perusing my laminated map, as I am aiming to take the CTA to my son's condo. It vexes me that I can't discern which direction I am going, and either head up and down a street four times , or upon seeing my map out, some kind young man points me in the right direction. My plans are yet to be determined. I know that I am going to the taping of a popular show and that we will enjoy some of Uptown's finest cuisine and wine. I am considering spending a day on Lake Michgan...reading , people watching, absorbing the beach ambience and savoring a fine lunch in the fresh air.

Adaptations

I do not work on Tuesday or Wednesday. I scrubbed the sides of the the aquarium, siphoned out the water and replaced it with fresh clean water. The three catfish are smiling. I noticed that an animal had thrown up on our blanket, so gathered the linens and threw them in the wash. I vacuumed the carpets...upstairs and downstairs. I drove to my son's apartment to feed his cat Emma. Emma started her life at the mini golf where my son works, and is half feral. Normally she hides under the bed and growls at me. I called her today, " Where is that good little kitty Emma?" I trot over to my son's bed and peek under. Shortly after a small soft gray animal stepped out to be petted and began to purr. I petted her for awhile, bid her adieu, and drove to my parents' home. My dad said, "Is this my little helper?" so my mother peeled vegetables and we made a salad and cantaloupe. After lunch, I set up the card table and my mother and I played Words. Words is an adaptation of scrabble. I place letter tiles in rows facing my mother, and we each take turns making words from the letters. Today's words....Calcutta, saxophone, sparkle, metal, telephone. I choose some delicious vine-ripened tomatoes from my parents' garden and drive through the construction to my home.

Home Sweet Home

I am back from the lake and already I have managed to lose my sunglasses and lip balm. Crazy too, since at the lake everything was neat as a pin in my "condo" and aside from some basil and spinach, I did not lose anything. The week was a delight...I played cards and word games with my mother, walked her around the park in her wheelchair, made loads of popcorn, salads, and stir fry veggies and washed plenty of dishes. I read and swam and rode my bike. I brewed suntea and rode my bike to get ice and gallons of water. Am I glad to be home? Not sure. I cleaned like a beaver...the louvers in the blinds, the bathrooms, swept the kitchen floor and vacuumed. Apparently the "neat as a pin" concept has transferred to my house!

My Condo at the Lake

The Lake at the State Park

Planning

I wake up in the night and my mind goes into "plan mode." My husband, 17 year old daughter and I are driving about an hour and a half away to a softball tournament on Friday. I bought water and sports drinks, goldfish, fruit snacks and pretzels. I am making buckets of ice for the cooler. Trying to make arrangements for 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 rabbit and 3 catfish...hoping my son and daughter can take care. My husband and I will leave for home Saturday after the final game as I am scheduled to work Sunday. After work Sunday afternoon, I plan to come home drop off the car, and hop into the van with pop-up (tent trailer) hitched, and drive out to the State Park about 40 minutes away. My brother and mother and dad will be there, and I will provide much amusement as I attempt to back the thing onto the site. Never done that before and there is always the hope that my brother will take pity and do it for me. I am bringing a step ladder too so that I can reach the door on the ceiling (locks there for travel purposes). Dad and brother will probably get into the act and help me set up. Don't forget to put the jacks down this time, so tent trailer does not tip backwards. I am making lists and more lists..equipment, food, games, books, check air pressure in tires, running lights, brake lights... Can't wait to sit under a tree with a book and commune with the raccoons for a week.

Perfect Days

I woke up this morning to the ringing of the landline and then my cellphone. Suspecting that it was my little sister, I stumbled out of bed to answer it. My sister was on the other end with an invitaion to visit the lake for lunch and a swim. My sister and her husband live in a house on the lake. We chatted awhile while I enjoyed some iced green tea with honey. Later my sister made wraps and then we hopped into the boat for a slow cruise up the channel and into "the puddle." This was the name given to Little Portage by Nancy, my sister's mother in law. My sister anchored the boat we grabbed a "noodle" and jumped into the water. So cool and refreshing. I was so thankful last evening for a perfect Monday also. I was able to procure an elusive credit card number for a sympathy arrangement and place the order. With the exception of one contrary coworker, I enjoyed the company of the other workers at the flower shop. My brother in law complimented me on my form. I made a reservation at the State Park for next week. My favorite baseball team came from behind and won the game, with my two daughters cheering at the stadium. I chatted with my dad and all is well. Yes indeed...two perfect days!

Hapkido Demo

I have always been interested in vintage vehicles--antique cars, trucks and cycles. Yesterday was the road cruise. There was excitement in the air as all road cruise participants checked in at the headquarters (bowling alley). A stage was set up and sound equipment brought in. Hotdogs and sausages were grilled. Tables and chairs were arranged under the big tent. I was in the midst of the activity as the martial arts school was performing. The demo began with the prep kids, Little Ninjas and tae kwan do students and then moved to the hapkido class. Forms, techniques, sparring and board breaking was demonstrated. After the hapkido demo, martial artists demonstrated weapon artistry with the bo and sword. The precision team performed and martial artists broke cement blocks.

Giving up worrying

As you know, I have been trying to be supportive, encouraging, giving as opposed to selfish, and good tempered. On Sunday, my coworker did not set her alarm and missed her bus. She asked me if I would give her a ride to work. Now she lives 4 miles east of me and 2 miles east of the store. We got to the store with a minute to spare. My father called the store and asked that I buy some flowers for my mother and bring them by after work. I bought a coral rose and six carnations and took them to the house. Later in the afternoon, I received a text. Would I please make either pasta salad, deviled eggs or potato salad for dinner. I made pasta salad and deviled eggs. I prefer to bake the potatoes and refrigerate them overnight, so they will be cold and firm for potato salad and I didn't have enough time. I tell you this to show that I am making some positive progress. I still firmly believe that my boss should divide the available hours evenly between me and and the other full time workers. And no matter how often I tell myself that I have everything I need, I get caught up in the unfairness, the partiality. I also am trying to change my daughter's perception of me. I want her to remember me as a person with a good sense of humor, non judgemental and even tempered. She will be moving far away in a few months and I want her to take with her the picture of a warm, caring, loving, supportive mom. For the past couple weeks, I have approached daily living with a more relaxed attitude. For years, I have choreographed my life...work, chores, hapkido. I have spent time worrying. Well, I have decided to not worry...it serves no useful purpose.

Hapkido Training

I trained in hapkido last night for the first time in a week. I think learning hapkido is similar to trying to learn a foreign language. Somewhere in the dark abyss are the proper words or in the case of hapkido, the proper techniques. It makes me wonder if I'll ever become savvy enough to know them, or if this is the point where I should take up another sport--one that has delineated moves and so makes it easy to excel. Or to stay with hapkido because it challenges my mind and body. So last night we trained in cho mok makki or punching and blocking moves. The master corrected my punch because I wasn't making a proper fist. The first technique...step away, move head, block with arm, use other arm to punch into nerves of armpit. Second technique... slap at punching arm, x-stance, bows wrist to temple. Third technique, hoi jeon, keep hands open to block, then grab at wrist and elbow, pulling partner in and close, release hand and sudo strike to neck. There are ten cho mok makki techniques. On Saturday, the car dealerships by the dojang are sponsoring a car cruise. The demo team will perform at this event and some members will break boards and cement.

Softball Travel Team

Last summer, my daughter wanted to play on a softball travel team. Unfortunately, she was too late registering for the Storm, the team with all her friends. She registered with The Aces. My husband knew the coach, the games were played at a local high school and the team was quite successful, accruing many wins. Being too old for the Aces, this summer, she registered with the Storm...so this is our first summer of travel softball. I went to the initial two games and didn't really see anything unusual about being a travel softball parent. The second tournament came along, think it was an afternoon game at the Dust Bowl. I call the sports complex this, because it was so dry everything was covered in dust...the bleachers, the plates, my pizza. Pitcher's mounds was a good 4-5" below the playing surface. However, I knew I was not a proper travel parent the minute I saw all the foldable red wagons. As I lugged the cooler, chairs and my purse to the field, I noticed other parents calmly pulling their little red wagons filled with coolers, chairs, umbrellas, squirt bottles, sunscreen...all the accoutrements one needs for a weekend at the ball park. Now comes an AWAY tournament, one that we have to TRAVEL to...about 52 miles from home. I decide, since work is slow and that I'm not needed. to take a vacation day, and experience some mother/daughter time. Daughter and I both goofed up the time we had to leave, so left late, and the first thing I do was forget about the construction and try to drive in the wrong lane. Two seasons here..winter and construction. We get off the expressway are driving along, wake up my daughter and say..."the park we just passed...is that it?" We turn around and I enter the park and pay the parking fee. Then we lug baseball gear, a cooler, a chair with canopy, my purse (in case daughter wants a tee shirt) and my Asus tablet (too hot in car) to the field. We play the first game, losing 6-1 which is very very good! Then lug all the stuff back to the car to wait for the next game, several hours later. We lose the second game, 6-2. Off for dinner and then a drive to the high school field for the 3rd game where pitching was bad and we lose 9-4. We would have caught up if we hadn't timed out. It is quite late, and I had planned to drive home, but since I have my toothbrush and contact solution, figure why not crash on the couch at the house where my friend and her daughter are staying and watch the first game on Saturday. Early Saturday morning, I do up dishes, and then head back to the field and lug the gear once again. We are playing the undefeated first place team. My daughter has a good at bat--fights through 11 pitches before line driving one to the pitcher. We lose the game 14-0. At this point, I make arrangements for her to ride home with a friend, because I have to drive home, shower the softball sand and sweat off and go to work, where it is deader than a doornail. My daughter plays the next game--gets hit by a pitch, bunts, and gets a single. She catches for her friend who has a sore arm and gets mowed down and lands on her butt. But the team secures its first win 7-6. I am getting this travel team thing down. One more tournament in a couple weeks. Go Storm!

Precious Rain

In the early morning, I saw lightning, heard thunder, and sensed the sweet smell of rain. I really thought it would never rain again! I had awoken to clear blue skies for weeks. The grass was brown and prickly. Another shower came in the early afternoon, and the dry earth drank deeply of the precious liquid. I stood in the window at the flower shop and watched the rain come down.

Celebrating Dad's birthday

My father was born on July 3, 1926. Really a great time to have a birthday, because we could combine fun time at the lake with a big birthday cake and sparklers. This year, I found a card with a dachsund on the front. The message on the front "This card is short on words," (then open the trifold card and the body of the dog grows), "but long on love." Seems to be a dog theme this year because my brother and my dad's sister gave him cards with dogs! My father has discovered political audio books, so his gift was a political memoir. I went for a visit....my mother became irritable so I invited her for a walk. Actually I walk and she rides in her wheelchair. We headed around the block, and as we were heading for home, who should be cruising down the road but my dad on his blue electric scooter. We greeted a neighbor as he headed off to work. Mission accomplished....mood much improved. A very happy birthday Dad!

Family Reunion

My mother grew up with her 10 brothers and sisters in a little town, she called "The Burg." Her three older brothers and sisters are deceased, so at 84 she is the eldest. Every year the family gathers for a reunion. This year, it was my mother's turn to oganize the event. My sister reserved the pavillion, mailed cards to famiy members, shopped with my dad for food, condiments, paper products, candies and nuts. My brother went to the house and drove the pick up loaded with supplies to the park. My husband, oldest daughter who flew in from DC and I met my brother early Sunday morning and started putting tablecloths on the tables. I was the official "greeter and onion and lemon slicer!" I looked over by the grilling area and saw my cousin and my uncle flipping burgers and turning brats and hot dogs. Everyone brought a dish to pass--potato salad, beans, coleslaw, veggie trays, fruit, cakes, brownies, pies, and cookies. All of my parents' granchildren were there except for two. I saw my nephew for the first time since his accident two years which left him paralyzed and in a wheelchair. He told me about the basketball team he is on and dining at different restaurants. I never miss my family's reunion because one never knows if this might be the last time to share a laugh.

Trying to win the sword

The martial artist who recruits the most new members to the school will win a beautiful sword. I've always been fascinated by the weapon, and would be overjoyed to own one. I have asked everyone I know if they would like to train in tae kwon do or hapkido. I would like to recruit a couple young people so that they could train for many years. A recent high school graduate told my sister and her husband how much the discipline and principles of tae kwon do had influenced the development of his character. Everyone is supportive of each other, and a student quickly develops a feeling of belonging. Yesterday, one of my friends, sat in on a class. She is amazingly flexible and talented.

Caught Myself!

Yesterday afternoon, I researched "gentleness." To be gentle I must: control my temper, master mood and feelings, check irritation, be patient, thoughtful, charitable, desire to do good deeds and grow in unselfishness and empathy. I caught myself three times today and corrected my attitude, reaction and verbal response.

Of Gentleness

Some time during the last few days, I have decided to do away with negative thoughts, and to view all things (even the not so happy events) in a positive way. I will be more grateful for the gifts and talents that I have. Yesterday evening, a friend described me as gentle. No one wants to be gentle in this day and age. Gentleness is seen as a weakness. Is it possible to succeed with gentleness as a personality quirk? Of all the personality traits that I would like to possess, gentleness is my least favorite. Today during the homily at church, the presider looked me in the eye and said, "If gentleness is your gift, use it, capitalize on it, make the most of it."

The Rose

Searching in the large walk-in cooler, I discovered two packages of roses. One package contained very pale pink roses--Sweet Akito. The other roses were a bit darker with rosy outer petals. They are known as Ohara. When I opened the Ohara roses, a sweet rose fragrance emanated from the package. I removed the roses and arranged them in their designer container to put in the front cooler. I was completely shocked when i found a rose on the floor--broken off the stem. I went around the store inviting everyone to smell the lovely rose fragrance. I then put the rose in a small vase on the counter.Several hours later a customer came in and we chatted. I turned around to bring the rose so she could smell the fragrance, when I discovered that the rose was gone. One of my coworkers had thrown the beautiful fragrant rose away.

Discovering free e-books

I enjoy sitting on the deck and perusing a good book. Recently I have discovered free e books. I simply download them to my Asus tablet and begin reading. Now, after reading a page or two, I discover why some of them are free! (In fact, I should be paid for reading them). I've read a post Civil War book set in Boston, a semi comedic novel in which the main character escapes and gets recaptured eight or ten times from undercover agents, a truly wonderful children's book about a girl who finds things. The author included "things to find" at the end of the book.

Intensity

Since I can't focus my energy on public relations, marketing and merchandising at the branch flower shop, and I really could care less about the main store, I am going to focus my energy and intensity on hapkido. I will promote to 1st gup in the next few months. My instructor told me today that I need to increase intensity to improve flexibility--to go to the point of pain and even more pain. I get maybe 3 important letters in a year. I've asked my husband to let me open them in my own time. Today I came home from work and he had opened a letter. It makes me want my own apartment. If I tell him that I feel sad when he opens my mail, he will become angry, even tho, to my way of thinking, it is my mail and I should be able to open it when I wish.

Day Off!

The sun is shining. and it is breezy. I squirted the outside table with the garden hose, and took some dishsoap and elbow grease to the winter grime. Certainly not perfectly clean but much improved. I dragged the new deck chairs up from the basement, downloaded a free e book and and am enjoying a nice read in the summer sunshine. I worked out earlier, and started the laundry. It is my day off!

Staying Positive

I had hoped to pack my tent in my car, and spend a few days at a nearby campground. I couldn't go because my husband was uncomfortable staying home alone. My sister knew that I needed a break and invited me out to her house on the lake to see her new flower beds and to have some lunch--a delicious hummus wrap, cantaloupe and green tea. Perhaps it is a good thing that I am working at the main store. My coworker's daughter was ill and she couldn't come to work. The President of the company is stressed. This is the season for weddings, he is looking for a new location for the branch store, his back is painful and his car needs $1200 repair job. It's hard to stay positive when there are so many things going wrong.

The Farmers Market

The sun shone as my husband and I drove downtown to the Farmers Market. Lots of people out and about, so we parked by the historic old church and walked for several blocks. We crossed the brick road and entered the market. We looked at cedar flower boxes, some rectangular and others for corners. We paused at the orchard table, purchasing an apple fritter and bottle of apple cider to share. We stopped by some hanging baskets and bought some pink and white impatiens. I couldn't resist the smell of the sweet basil and bought a pint of ripe red tomatoes. My mouth watered in anticipation of sweet basil, sliced tomato and feta cheese on a bagel. Coolers of iced fresh and smoked fish caught our eye! We bought one-half pound of whitefish. Photographs of historic city sites interested us! My husband found a framed print of the Arcade. A print of two fisher people in a boat interested me. It will be framed and ready in a week or so. A delightful visit to the market. A welcome distraction from the aggravations and disappointments of the branch flower shop move .

Stubborn

I am not sure that my husband acknowledges that he had a heart attack. I make healthy meals but he still yearns for the creamy, high sodium, fattening dishes that he sees on television. His heart medicine gives him headaches, so he has stopped taking it. He has made no effort to exercise. I am doing all that I can. I will not nag him and cause feelings of resentment. Why is he being so stubborn where his health and well being are concerned? I can't help feeling like I am hitting my head against a brick wall.

Trying to remain positive

For the past several weeks, I have been working at the branch store. It seems to me that business has been better. I have taken some orders and sold merchandise from the cooler and floor. We are in a shopping mall, and the landlord has refused to renew our lease and that of the dry cleaner next to us. Consequently, we have to relocate. The President of the company has a specific area in mind, but nothing is available. Timing is of the essence. As for me, I am trying to remain calm. It is difficult since I know that the other manager and I do not have hours at the main store, and that our customers will miss the convenience of the branch store. We are cleaning and packing closets and cupboards but in a discreet way. I am hoping that we will find a new location and be able to move there with little disruption to the business.

Extremes

Husband has been in the hospital for the last few days. He went in with chest pains, had a test, it was determined that he had no blockage. So for now waiting to hear from the doctor. He will come home tomorrow. I forgot to feed the dogs and wind the clock, small potatoes, I suppose, in the things, I could have forgotten. I need to recuperate from last weeks hecticness at the flower shop--an engagement party, senior prom and Mother's day. After working in close proximity to my coworkers, I could easily have bitten off their heads, but kept my mouth shut. I became impatient with the youthfulness of my coworkers. There are extremes--middle age or past middle age and barely out of teens.

Perfect Timing

Unless it is a busy floral holiday, only one sales associate is needed at the branch flower shop. I had been taking orders for corsages and boutonnieres all day yesterday, but after school was dismissed, eight or so high school students came into the store to place orders. They had been there only a minute, when the president of the company walked it. I commenced taking the first order, when an elderly gentleman entered. My boss offered to help him and wrapped a beautiful red rose and completed the sale. When the computer was free, I continued taking orders. The phone rang once, and our delivery man knocked on the back door. Slow and steadily, I entered the orders into the computer. The owner could not have come into the store at a better time! The store was full of customers and I was working efficiently to assist them. Makes me smile.

Special People

I must admit that I really look forward to Mothers Day for myself. It is a day focused on me, even more than my birthay is. Someone prepares a simple meal, my children extend happy wishes, sometimes I get gifts! I am happy because I feel appreciated. In these modern times, when men and women act as both mother and father, perhaps we should have just one day to honor those special men and women in our lives.

Keeping a Log

As you know, I have begun working at the branch store, or the outpost as the president of the company and I call it. Now this store has been losing money for the last 10 years. We have tough competition from the card shop in the same mall, we have no signage or visibility, up to now, it has been run by college girls who spent their time studyiing. I asked the President how the store was doing, and he said it is hard to tell, since he is unable to discern how the transfer orders affect sales. These are orders sent to the main store for delivery. I have decided to help him out by keeping a log of the transfer orders. One step on the way to making the "outpost" a viable store.

Thoughtulness and Kindness in Speaking

I came home from work and discovered my husband in the kitchen happily stirring chicken flavored rice and baking frozen prepared chicken cordon bleu. I enjoy both of these dishes. However, for the past four weeks, I have been trying to eat as healthy as possible. I have been watching sugar and sodium. I mentioned to my husband that both dishes were loaded with sodium. I realized, after, that if my son had invited me for sushi which I drench with sodium ladened soy sauce, miso and adename that I would have been tactful. The lesson here is to be thoughtful and kind so as to not hurt my well-intentioned husband's feelings.

Just what we needed

My sister said, "It was just what we needed." And it truly was. A time of prayer, songs and anecdotes about Nancy. And then into the gathering space to share a simple lunch--chicken and ham sandwiches, deviled eggs--pink and blue and green from Easter dye, spinach salad, fruit, oatmeal raisin bars, cake, coffee and water. A time to be together and remember a wonderful woman.

Nancy
May 27, 1927 - April 17, 2012

Memorial Service

I am attending a private memorial service for my friend, 84. A time of prayer and songs. It will provide the opportunity to remember and share happy moments. I have a vase of flowers to position by her picture, a basket of reiger begonias and an orchid plant. Am thinking about making an oatmeal raisin bar for after the service.

Taking the bull by the horns

I am not in the mood to train tonight. However if I make excuses this evening, it will be that much easier to not train some other time. I use to train 4 1/2 hours a week, but because of my new work schedule, had to forfeit two hours. If I train tonite, Tuesday and Wednesday, I will log 3 hours and 20 minutes this week. Yes, the wind is gusting up to 51 mph and I am cold from sitting at my daughter's softball game, but I will take the bull by the horns and attend hapkido class.

Working at it

Today my hubby and I celebrate our 37th anniversary. I hoped I was making the right decision all those years ago. Found out that I have to reassess and recommit every so often. Staying in a marriage is tough work especially when two diverse, opposite, opinionated personalities reside in a relationship.

Peace at last

She enjoyed watching the swans sailing on the lake, cygnets between.
She visited the animal shelter and adopted a cat friend.
A gory murder mystery delighted her.
TV shows entertained her.
Merchandise on the computer enticed her.
Old age, reclusiveness, kept her in her room.
The last few months--a series of hospital visits and rehab.
Now the end is quite near.
Peacefulness for her.
Sadness and loss for me.

Helping Grandfather

Yesterday my son and two daughters got up early and headed to their grandfather's house. My son unloaded 40 bags of topsoil. My daughters spread and raked the topsoil over the low spots. The 17 year old drove the lawn tractor and trailer loaded with patio blocks. They situated the patio blocks against the foundation. My father treated everyone to breakfast. My children thought it important to find the time in their busy day to help their grandfather.

Relieved

Last night we worked on fitness in hapkido class. Forms alternating with 20 plus pushups. I then came home and went online and chatted with a few friends. And finally, to my relief, I began to mellow, my mood shifted, the irritation that I felt all day went away. It is a worry to be in a bad mood and to not know why. Today, I continue to be in a mellow mood although my muscles hurt from fitness class. However, I will take soreness over a bad mood any day!

An Afternoon with my Mother

My mother is 84, is in a wheelchair and has some difficulty speaking due to some strokes she had many years ago. Today, we started off under cloudy skies to the nail salon. She enjoyed choosing a beautiful coral color, but her favorite part was when the manicurist rubbed mango/lavender lotion on her hands, saying "you always have such soft hands." The stylist sat on the floor and clipped my mother's toenails. We laughed when my mother asked, "Should I dance a jig?" I asked my mother if she would like to go to a large food and department store to look for shirts. Entering the department store, beautiful hyacinths caught her eye. We then headed to the shirt department and she choose five brightly colored new tops. She bought a cute bonnet and outfit for her newest great granddaughter who will be born in May. Around the store to the fish in aquariums and shrimp rings in freezers, past bunny cakes and cookies, to the flower section and the blue orchids. Time to check out, she had never seen a u scan because you see, she probably had not been to this store in 30 years! A perfect afternoon with my 84 year old mother!