My Dad's Dream

My 89 year old father wants to take a road trip. He would like to purchase a small trailer and head west with my brother. He would visit the Hoover Dam, Grand Canyon, the four corners and California. He has never seen these sights before. The trip would take 3-4 weeks. My brother would have to find someone to take care of his dogs. We would have to arange care for my mother. My dad is tired of his day to day existence and needs some zest in his life. Now to see if we can make this happen!

Lab results are good

I received the results of the bloodwork and it is all normal. AC1, LDL, HDL and vitamin D. Merry Christmas to me! I am extremely pleased. Still have to get a mammo in January and barring any problem, should be set for another year. I have to exercise for 30 minutes five times a week. I am short a couple sessions. I bundled up myself and the dogs and we walked through the woods and around the field in the sleet. I ran into an old friend at the store and we had a heart to heart. So happy to catch up with her life! It was a sad day at the store. Two families came in to buy special flowers for a 19 year old who took her own life. A man sent flowers to his wife who is here to be near her disabled son who has pneumonia and is in intensive care. Another man is hoping 2016 is happier than the past two years when he lost his brother and his daughter. My friend said that there are a lot of deaths around Christmastime.

Problem Solving

So amidst the orders for Christmas centerpieces and decorative poinsettias, folks come into the store seeking help for a project. A customer purchased a pot of decorative greens for her front porch and wanted to cover it with foil. So we had to visualize the pot and the amount of foil needed. After cutting 6 feet, I showed her how to tape it together so that it would cover the sides of the pot. A young college student came into the store looking for a box large enough to hold silk poinsettias and other flowers. Not understanding at first, I went upstairs and came down with a rose box. It was way too small; she needed a box that our roses come in from the vendor. I told her how to cut the box and cover down. Today two young men came in to get a small bouquet. One was making a gift bear. He had put earrings on the bear and was planning to add a bouquet of roses, babies breath and greens. These projects keep me on my toes!

Alive and kicking

So you'll be glad to know that I made it through my doctor's appointment! Of course, my blood pressure was through the roof (168/104), but when I took it this morning 138/86. The nurse told me that I need to be under 150/90. The doctor is concerned because she can't know how much it rises during normal activity, how prone I am to a stroke. Well, I don't want to have a stroke, so I will monitor my pressure for 4 weeks and call the nurse with the readings. We will then assess whether or not I need bp meds, but not atenolol because it is a beta blocker and makes me tired. There are other options available. I also begin the pre diabetic support group on Sunday, and perhaps if I lose some weight, my blood pressure will be better. On the positive side, I have never experienced headaches and double vision. I surmise I have the worse case of white coat syndrome possible. I had a small spot removed from my leg and it is rather painful today. The wound did not want to stop bleeding, so the doctor told me no running or hopping in hapkido. I did low impact martial arts last night, but I'm hoping to participate in kickfit tonight. I had a talk with my dad. The nurse is coming on Monday to evaluate him for home health care. He wants to cut back on his driving and I told him that I could help on my day off. He wants to stay at his home and not go to assisted living.

Sales bonus at work

You probably heard about Hilcorp Corporation employees getting a $100,000 bonus. Amazing! The president of our company is offering us a sales bonus. If we sell a gift or arrangement at $80, we receive $1. We get $2 for a gift or arrangement at $100. To date, I've made $5. The bonus ends Christmas Eve so I have several more days to accrue a fortune. On December 21, our daughter arrives. I will get up early and drive about an hour away to the train station to pick her up. We ae looking forward to baking her Grandma's gumdrop cookies and sugar cookies. I really enjoy a yummy sugar cookie slathered in colorful confectioner's sugar. Of course this cookie loaded with sugar will wreak havoc with my clean eating. I did get accepted into the pre diabetic program and probably will begin the program in the next few weeks. It was my son in law's birthday and I baked him a cake and had to test it! On the positive side, I have not been eating chips or chocolate, so about 90% of the food I eat is healthy. Off for a physical on Wednesday. I always feel anxious when I head to the clinic. And the anxiety makes my blood pressure high. I have the worse case of white coat syndrome. And just like the auto repair shop, one takes their car in for an oil change and comes out several hundred dollars later with new calipers. One goes to the clinic for a check up and comes out needing a heart valve replacement.

Such a Little Thing, Really

Yesterday afternoon, as I always do, I drove to my parents' home to help serve and clean up dinner. My mother who has dementia, wanted to know why it took me so long to get there. My dad was frustrated with her and said, "I want to go away and never come back." My mother had been begging him to eat dinner since 1pm. She did have a snack, but she wanted dinner. Perhaps she could smell the roast and potatoes and became confused. I served dinner, roast, cauliflower, potatoes and gravy, tea and we all enjoyed our dinner. My dad, who was bothered with stomach pain (we think because he took pain reliever for a headache) felt some relief after eating. My mother enjoyed looking at the neighbor's Christmas lights and commented on the colors. Then my dad mentioned that he wanted to send those neighbors a Christmas card, They moved in recently, a mother, father and baby girl. Pretty soon, my dad brought out Christmas cards, return address labels, stickers, stamps and the address book that my Mother made back when, her words, "I was smart." I addressed the cards, put on the return address labels and the stamps and my dad signed the cards and sealed the envelopes with stickers. My mother hopes that by sending out these Christmas cards, they will receive cards in the mail. I addressed a dozen envelopes to their brothers and sisters, neighbors and a couple cousins. It took perhaps a half hour. And yet, by their gratefulness and joy, you would have thought I'd given them the world. It really is the small things that make a difference.

Pre diabetic support group

Last year, my blood work up showed that my glucose level was 109. The number raised a flag with my doctor as my mother has type 2 diabetes. I received some information on carb counting and the "great plate" and for about three months did very well. But a year ago, I fell off the band wagon and haven't been able to climb back on. A couple days ago I received a letter from my insurance company. Insurance will cover the cost of a pre diabetic support program. I have applied for an online program. It involves three months of weekly meetings and several monthly meetings. I will have a support group and health coach. The program will help me stay accountable. I am grateful for this support. On the positive side, I am informed about clean eating, I have my sugar addiction under control at the present, I am counting carbs. I am motivated My husband eats the healthy food I prepare along with other not-so-healthy treats. His sweet tooth tempts me to indulge in foods loaded with carbs. I really would prefer to not have cookies, chips and the like in the pantry. It's hard for me to stay strong. I hope I stay motivated as I feel so much better with more energy.

They will live on

Another senseless slaughter in San Bernadino, California. Innocent lives lost and many injured. There is speculation as to motive as if a reason would make this horrible killing more understandable. It will never make sense to me. The bombing of a plane and its crash into the desert, the rampage in Paris, shooting fellow workers at a party... what is going on in the twisted minds of the perpetrators? Many lost and the lives of family and friends changed forever as they grieve and go on, putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. So much sadness. And there, but for the grace of God, go I because it would be so easy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. These senseless killings encourage me to celebrate Advent, the four weeks before Christmas and Christmas and the New Year with even more fervor. I celebrate for those who can no longer enjoy the special moments in life. Evil stole these lives but these men, women and children will live on in memories and celebrations of their lives.

Never forgotten

My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of those who have died in the past year. I pray for Aylan's father and relatives, the little boy, who along with his mother and brother, drowned in the Mediterranean when their boat capsized. I remember the family and friends of one of my students, who at the young age of 20, committed suicide last week. I pray for the family and friends of the little boy with the brain tumor who also passed last Monday. I remember my two coworkers (grandmother and granddauughter) who lost a mother and daughter to cancer last month. So many empty chairs in peoples' homes. I think of those who have lost beloved pets--a horse, dog or cat. Peace and comfort to those who are burdened with the terrible weight of grief. May their loved ones live on in memories, in the whisper of the wind, in the twinkling of the stars.

In charge of my happiness

My 89 year old father likes to reminisce. When I "visit" on Tuesday (actually serve and clean up dinner) he will tell stories of his boyhood or the early years of parenting. He tells of spending the summer in a small cabin on the lake or camping in the north. I never realized that he had been offered a position that would have given him a substantial salary, but that he turned it down, becauuse he figured that less stress and family time were more important than money. He tells me of camping, "It didn't cost much money, but we had a good time." I wouldn't trade the special day last Wednesday with my mother and niece for any amount of money. We went to the nail salon and the flower shop to see the Christmas trees. Spending time with friends and family at my nephew's historical home, chatting, joking, laughing and then playing Phrase Party with my children, niece, great nieces and great nephew (10 of us playing the game) created priceless memories. A few weeks ago, I read that it is not my job to make other people happy. And this idea was reaffirmed yesterday at the Thanksgiving dinner by my sisters-in-law. I am grateful for family and friends, for the many blessings that I have. I am happy when I bundle my dogs into their sweaters and walk a mile on a sunny day or under overcast skies with rain sprinkling on me. I am outside walking past the pizza store and the chicken restaurant. I work in a shop with beautiful storefront windows. I can sip a hot carob drink with a dollop of whipped cream, with my tablet in my hand, in front of the electric fireplace. I ride my horse, Hope, (actually my teacher's horse) and trot around the arena, or trot diagonals or half circles. I learn martial arts and participate in kickfit classes. I listen to pop music on the radio. So I am content and peaceful, and in charge of my happiness.

Thanksgiving and Family Reunion

Today we celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband's family--his two brothers and their spouses and my niece, nephew and their families. My sister in law baked the turkey and I made the side dishes--butternut squash, mashed potatoes, yams, green bean casserole, fresh cranberry sauce, salad, ham rolls. In hindsight, I am glad I didn't have to deal with the turkey, because our refrigerator is not working properly. We need to call the appliance technician. After dessert, we played a rousing game of Phrase Party. Lots of noise and laughter.

Fun on a Rainy Afternoon--A Girls' Day Out!

My niece, 87 year old mother and I went on an adventure yesterday. My mother had an appointment at the nail salon for a manicure and to get her toenails cut. It was rainy--my niece got wet walking from the bus stop to the house. My dad parked his car outside so that I could drive into the garage. We bundled my mother into her coat and her rain bonnet. The wind promptly tore the bonnet off her head and we had to make a quick catch. At the salon, my niece and mother looked at nail colors. My mother chose a luxurious red shade. The nail technician was quick and efficient. My niece and I convinced my mother to get her toenails cut. She was afraid that her feet would get cold, so we asked the technician to take off one shoe and sock at a time, so mother would have only one cold foot! When her nails were dry, the nail artist carefully helped my mother into her coat and buttoned it for her. It seemed to me that this shop honors and respects the elderly. We were close to the flower shop so we stopped by to browse. Mother enjoyed looking at the ornaments on the trees, the plants and flowers in the greenhouse, the flowers in the refrigerator and the cards. All my work colleagues came to greet her and welcome her to the shop. She said, "they are very kind." Once back at the house, we had a snack as we talked about the memories we made on a rainy Wednesday afternoon.

Fears in perspective

A family in the city is celebrating their family Christmas tomorow because their little four year old boy is dying from an inoperable brain tumor. Dear family friends called the flower shop to request delivery of a table arrangement, a red and green balloon bouquet and a plush mouse that sings "Jingle Bells." Their dream is one final Christmas as a little family. Totally puts my fears in perspective. I was talking to my dad and he mentioned that he doesn't want to put my mother in a nursing home. However, to help her adjust once my dad passes, it would be wise for both of them to live in assisting living. She will then be set when my dad moves to the other side. My father said he will think about a plan the first of the year. It makes me sad to consider this conversation. Last times are so painful--the last vacation up north, the last Thanksgiving and Christmas at my parents' home. But I can't be sad because I have been truly blessed. I have had my parents for many, many years unlike this family who are facing losing their son at four years old.

Enjoying university family day

Yesterday, my husband,son and I drove about 50 miles away to spend time with our daughter who is a junior at the university. Originally we had planned to eat lunch at her sorority house, but decided to walk to a nearby restaurant. We sat on stools at a high top table--cheesy macaroni and crack fries for my daughter, a hamburger for my son, cobb salad for my husband, and a quesadilla for me! Yum! We then drove to the bowling alley where a private room was reserved. My low scores were a clear indication that I hadn't bowled in years and years. And my husband, who bowls on a Monday night league, had trouble with his shoes sticking to the floor. Fortunately he didn't catapault himself down the lane. My son and daughter bowled well. We had to check out a new candy shop and buy some caramel apples and chocolate almonds. We returned to my daughter's apartment to watch the football game. My daughter served cheese and crackers, tostitos and salsa, tea and coffee. We had a memorable day together.

Headachey from sugar withdrawal

So I have decided, for the millionth time, to eat clean which of course means giving up sugar. I have to get a handle on this sugar addiction. Yesterday, I had a dull achey head. I felt sure that I had a brain tumor, or sinus infection. Then the light bulb went on. I remember many years ago when I stopped drinking caffeinated coffee and had a headache, like you wouldn't believe. I'm guesing that the pain in my head is a withdrawal symptom from giving up sugar. I'm handling the pain with acetiminophen. My blood pressure has been wacky too, probably from the pain in my head. I downloaded an ebook with some clean recipes. Fine and dandy except that the recipes are loaded with carbs and cholesterol. It is so difficult to balance proper calcium intake, carbs and cholesterol, foods that help with blood pressure. Such a puzzle. My husband is on board too, wants to get his BMI down. To help with my blood pressure, I am going to power walk, breathe deeply for 5 minutes twice a day, eat potassium rich food (sweet potatoes, tomatoes, kidney beans, potatoes), watch sodium intake, drink hibiscus tea, relax with music, and drink soy. Wish us luck!

An Evening With My Husband

I called my husband from work and asked him if he might like to go on some errands with me after I came home from work and walked the dogs. Amazingly, he said he would. I came home, harnessed and leashed the dogs, and we (well, the dogs) gamboled and frolicked around the fields. We had a great time, but darkness fell, making me think that today I might carry a flashlight. We hopped in my car and headed to Staples, an office supply store. I want to give my dad a copy of his family tree, but the trouble is that the font is too small on an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper. The copy needs to be enlarged. I am expecting a call today with my options. We then headed to Big Lots to buy some Hongar dipping oil to give to my brother and sister and their spouses for Christmas. The sets are beautful--roasted garlic and tomato and basil dipping oil. On the way home, my husband asked if I would like to go to Steak and Shake. Not one to pass up the opportunity to have someone cook for me, we had a nice cheese steakburger and some fries. A Little Poem about Christmas Gifts that I read: "Something they want, Something they need, Something to Wear, Something to Read!" Yes!

Have tomorrow morning off

I have worked nine days in a row because of the passing of my work colleague's daughter. She desperately needed some time to regroup after the past year and the recent funeral. It is a small thing for me to do--work for her so she can do errands and heal. The president of the company is working for me tomorow morning, giving me time to get chores done at home and rest. One effect of working so many days in a row is that I make errors easily. For instance, I duplicated an order, but forgot to check the product pricing. The prices had been changed, so the store lost that money. I am trying to stay focused. Yesterday, the phones were not working at the main store (lines were down) so I had to calm stressed customers. One was calling about a wedding, another needed a receipt, another wanted to place an order. These customers were stressed when they couldn't get through to the other store. The company president plans to hang Christmas wreaths. It is good too, that he can see that there is a water leak in the restroom and around some flashing in the roof and that the light bulb in the foyer is missing. Next week, because of the time change, it will be dark at 5pm. I will work tomorrow afternoon, all day Sat, a short day Sunday and then have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off. Days to rest and relax.

A Small Gift

I spoke to the branch store manager on Sunday. She told me that she would not be working this week, that if the first order was a funeral order, she would lose her composure. She also mentioned that even though she could talk to me, she would cry if she spoke to the company president. I have worked since last Wednesday, working her days and mine. She is so sad and it is a small thing to do, a little gift. Hopefully, she will heal enough to come back to work next Monday. She had to go to the funeral home to pick up the floral gifts, had other errands to run concerning her daughter's affairs. Her sister had shoulder surgery this morning. I am trying to stay focused because after working a string of days in a row, I make mistakes. The president of the company is covering Friday morning and after working Saturday and Sunday, I am off Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

Thought I Knew Where the Funeral Home Is...

All of the store employees planned to go to the visitation for our friend, the branch manager's daughter after work. It was a difficult day, anticipating the drive in rush hour traffic and then the consequent greeting of the family. I figured out a route only to discover that the road was closed. Lots of traffic on the alternate routes. I did not look up where the funeral home is because I thought I knew its location. So I drove into the city to the wrong funeral home twice, and even once got out of my car to go in before noticing the sign. I stopped at a church to ask someone but no one was around, except for members of a wedding party rehearsal. Finally I crossed the street and asked the two gentlemen at the party store, told them that I was lost. One of the men knew exactly where it was and gave me perfect directions. So after an hour of driving and walking, I arrived. I spent some time with the family members and work colleagues and then headed home.

Sad News

I received a call last night that the branch store manager's daughter passed away yesterday. So sad. I saw her last at a memorial service for my boss' husband. She was diagnosed with lung cancer that spread to her brain and spine. lived a year after the diagnosis. I think of the Easter song, "The strife is oer, the battle done..." Such a difficult time for the family. I am working at the branch store today. Had a difficult time getting here as there is construction on the route, and many other cars were on the alternate route. Because I was fortunate and many of the traffic lights were green, I made it to work with a minute to spare. Trying to figure out the best way to get home. The skies are grey and overcast, even shed a few drops of rain, as tears for the branch store manager and her family.

Birthday Surprise Was A Success!

Everone made it to Amish Acres to celebrate my husband and their Dad's 70th birthday. We did it in spite of having to work extra hours and getting caught behind a combine on country roads. He didn't figure out the destination until we got off the expressway and headed south, and even then he said, "I'll let you know if I figured it out." We gathered to eat around 7pm or so and then walked over to the red round theater to see "Smoke on the Mountain." The next day we toured the farm. The first time I visited the resort, the wagon was pulled by Clydedales. This time by a green tractor. We walked around the farm, stopping to visit a one room schoolhouse. We made friends with two piglets, a donkey, two billy goat kids, several peacocks, turkey and turkey hens. Also went on a historic tour of the farmhouses built in the 1900s. My husband especially enjoyed the farm property and said that he will always remember his 70th birthday. We ate pizza and then hit the road with the sun shining and the trees a blaze of reds, yellows and oranges. Happy happy 70th birthday!

Husband hasn't discovered the birthday surprise!

As you know, (but my husband doesn't), our eldest daughter flies in tomorrow morning to be here for her father's 70th bday. He'll probably say, "What are you doing here!" And then on Friday afternoon and evening, the entire family (except for our daughter's boyfriend) gather to celebrate a birthday dinner and show. And my husband has not figured it out! Thankfully, the inn does not charge us til we arrive. And no one has let it slip. My husband has been questioning my father and our son, but their lips are sealed. Now my husband is highly intuitive in matters regarding himself, figured out that we were getting him a bowling ball for Dad's day and when I asked him "Guess what I found today," he honed right in that I had found his folding knife. But this time, at least until we take off down the expressway, he does not KNOW. How sweet it is!

Needs More Help

My mother's Sunday aide quit. I went to the house after work so that my dad could run some errands and go to church. He had roasted some beef and potatoes, and cut up some cauliflower. I served my mother her dinner (she likes to eat at the same time every day) and set the oven on low to keep my dad's meal hot. He did not have any beef gravy, so my husband drove to the rescue. Fortunately, I had purchased several cans to take with us on our camping trip. My mother and I watched golf and 22 year old Jordan Spieth win the FedEx tournament. My dad told me he needs more help. I am waiting for him to analyze and determine what he needs. My sister and niece offered to help out, but I dont' know if it will be enough. My former sister in law is coming to visit tonight. She is bringing chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. I haven't see her in ages so it will be fun to catch up!

Let the Birthday Celebration Begin!

Certainly 2 weeks out is not too soon to start my husband's 70th birthday celebration. It began yesterday with a trip to the car dealership to lease a new car. As my dad said, "What is a 70 year old doing running around in a 14 year old car?" So off to the car dealer to lease a 2016 Ford Escape. The car is sunset, the interior black and grey. It has features--a rear sensor, heated front seats, voice activation, eco boost. He can't wait to pick the car up today and surprise the guys at work. He still doesn't know that our eldest daughter is flying in on Oct 8th. I suggested that he get the afternoon of Oct 9 and the day of his birthday, Oct 10 off. I accidently let slip that we were going on a trip because he tricked me! He said, "I hope we are not going on a trip to Alaska." I did okay for half a minute and then thoughtlessly told him. "No, our trip..." Stopped, but now he knows that there is a trip in the works, but is mulling over what the trip could be.

13 Generations

My niece spent many hours researching the full names and birth dates of relatives on my dad's side of the family to make a family tree for the reunion on Sunday. I received an email requesting the birth years of 20 or so relatives. It was an all-day project. I spoke with my cousin to find out birthdates of her siblings, children and grand children. Spoke to my Dad's cousin to fill in her husband's, children's and grandchildren's names and birthdates. My dad's brother's family was not available, so used the internet as much as possible. I am sure that some of the inormation is incorrect and that my cousin has a grandchild that I don't know about. However, we can correct and add information at the family reunion tomorrow. My dad's cousin's daughter traced back their family to the Mayflower. The family has been in the US for 13 generations. This is not true of my family. My paternal great great grandparents emmigrated from England in the mid 1800s, my paternal great grandmother came to this country from Sweden and my maternal great grandfather came to the US from Poland. Once here he took his middle name as his last name. Working with my family tree has clarified the information that I have English, Polish and Swedish ancestry, possible German too, although I have not found German ancestors. However, my husband's family is German, so my children have German, Polish, English and Swedish ancestors. My husband's ancestors changed the spelling of the last name several times, making it a challenge to work on geneology.

Harvest Moon Lunar Eclipse

I received an email from the Department of Natural Resources with details about the lunar eclipse on Sept 27/28. The message mentioned three state parks with optimum darkness to view the eclipse. The best time to see it is 10:10pm Eastern Standard Time. The parks are located far away. Been working on my father's family tree. I talked to my cousin and she gave me information about her family. Still have a call in to my dad's cousin and a cousin in Florida. Chipping away at the missing information bit by bit.

Husband's 70th birthday

My husband will be 70 years old in early October. He has aches and pains and life is difficult. He is irritable more often than pleasant. He wakes me up grumbling at CNN. So, I mulled over the past way to mark this tremendous occasion. A big party with friends and family? No, he is not a party animal! Dinner with just the family? Yes, an Amish thresher's meal. Special things to do along with dinner? Such as a wagon ride around a pretty farm, a live musical, shops to browse in, one night away from home? Yes! We are meeting in Nappanee Indiana at Amish Acres and Resort. It is a 2 to 3 hour drive depending where my children live. Well, and a flight in from Washington, DC. As I write, my husband does not know of our birthday plans. It is a surprise. My children and I will have to figure out a creative way to tell him. Also, on Sunday, I will be a spectator at a horse show. Excited to see what my horse and rider can do. And then Sunday afternoon, we are having a family reunion. My dad's brother and sister will be coming in from Florida along with some of my cousins and their family. We have never had a reunion before, so it will be a once in a lifetime opportunity!

14 Years Ago

I was teaching first graders when the school secretary quietly told me about the terrorist attacks. Quietly, because the principal chose to have the parents inform the children. I came home and my 5 year old daughter drew chalk pictures of jets crashing into the World Trade Center on our driveway. Innocence gone in one day. Now, 14 years later, I still cannot think of that day without tears. I remember the Budweiser commercial of the Clydsedale horses paying tribute to New York City. I remember the long list of names read in honor of those who lost their lives. I see photos and the words "We will always remember," on facebook. It's painful to remember the innocent lives lost that day and the suffering of their friends and family. So many lives affected by terrible acts of terrorism.

A Perfect Vacation

I returned home last night after spending several days with family and friends "up north." A bit of an adventure with my 87 year old mother, 89 year old father and 70 in a few days husband. When you think of it, there were 22 of us on this adventure, and there were no problems. Amazing! On Saturday morning, I was astonished when my son, his partner and their very good friend arrived from the Windy City to surprise me for my birthday! I truly had no idea they were coming, because I had had a long pleasant birthday chat! 11 of us went to the Mackinac Grille in St Ignace. I chose whitefish, steamed with fresh vegetables and it hit the spot. We then meandered down the walkway overlooking Lake Huron. Walking back we saw a most beautiful sunset. On Labor Day, we headed by bus across the Mackinac Bridge so that we could walk back to the south side. My husband and I walked across the finish line to receive our certificates. Pouring down rain for the first hour of the drive home, but then clear skies. A most memorable vacation!

Seminar at Work

On Thursday and Friday, I attended a work seminar. The company president decided to bring in a trainer to help with increasing sales and minimizing complaints. I appreciated a meeting that we had several years ago because I learned some helpful hints. The first session lasted 3 1/2 hours and today's meeting lasted 2 hours. I think it will be helpful. I was feeling a bit disgruntled because I made a comment, the facilitator brought the meeting back to focus, and when he asked me if I was on the same page, I felt put on the spot. I felt that the "test" and role playing at the beginning was to demonstrate just how awry my thinking was. However, there were some areas where I was spot on. I came out of the meeting with a headache and had to stop on the way to work and get some pain reliever. Today we practiced taking phone orders, trying to implement the new ideas.

Daughter Moves into Apartment

I asked my son for help on Sunday loading the van with furniture for my daughter's new apartment. He made the day special, bringing over some steaks and grilling them. Husband made deviled eggs, corn on the cob and baked potatoes as side dishes. We loaded the van with a futon, bookcase, small 3 drawer dresser, footboard and box spring along with other paraphenalia. The pillow top mattress went on the top of the van secured with 100' of rope. Clothes, shoes, computer and other personal belongings were packed in my daughter's yellow Mustang. Needless to say, we were a bit uneasy with the mattress on the top of the van! So early on Monday morning my daughter took off in her car, and after stopping for gas, I got on the expressway and headed to the university about an hour away. The sun shone, roads were clear. I made a mistake as I got close to her apartment so had to drive to an easy off, easy on road to turn around! Was in the wrong lane near the apartment so had to turn right and come back straight, but it all worked out. Was so pleased that we had brought appropriate furniture, because this house was built in 1900 and the stairs went up for 6 or so steps, had a landing, and then turned for 6 more steps. Has a 3' bannister. The most difficult piece to get up was the futon. The crazy thing is, as much as my daughter hates it, the other girls begged her to leave it in the living room! We set up her room, making a shopping list as we went...vacuum, shower caddy, night stand, bulbs for the touch lamp, clear light string sets for decoration, mattress pad and sheets for pillow top mattress, hangers, food. Dashed off to the store and ran into an apartment mate! I bought the women a plant as an apartment warming gift and my daughter treated me to a burger and frosty. I left her as prepared as possible, but was driving home when she called and told me that her bite guard (jaw was throbbing from stress) and meds were at home. That was unnerving! Fortunately her friend is going up today and can take tenting gear, the printer, guard and meds. A milestone in my daughter's life.

Haiku morning

Glancing at the clock

Mistake setting the alarm

Rushing out the door.

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No breakfast this morn

A struggle to be on time

Cookies for breakfast.

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Cloudy summer sky

Fat raindrops on the windshield

Feels and tastes like fall.

Well, fortunately a friend googled how to denote paragraphs. What a mess it was before she helped me. Live and learn!

Invisible

Somewhere I read that elderly women are invisible. The statement made sense to me because I know that given a choice to help a male or a female at the store, the male wins every time. Males come into the shop, explain the purpose of their visit, and leave smiling a few minutes later. The elderly female customer dillies over the colors and freshness of the flowers, goes back and forth about cost and preference of flower type. She uses her arthritic fingers to find the 72 cents change and takes forever to clasp her purse. She slings her purse over her arm, gathers her flower bouquet and limps out the door. Now, I know that I do not like to be invisible, and many years ago a colleague was dishing out compliments to the younger associates, noticed I was there, searched his thoughts and told me that I have a pretty smile. And even though my eyelids embarrass me because they hang low, it is quite true that when I smile, it is pretty. How I appreciate that he took the time and effort to include me in his compliment session. After reading the article, I decided to do something about the invisible elderly woman, to let her know that I see and appreciate her. I greet her as she enters the store and I listen and share my time. I hope in some small way that for a brief minute or two, the elderly woman feels noticed, her presence on this earth, acknowledged.

Appears part of Maylasian plane found

After a year, it appears that a part of the Maylasian plane has been found off the French Island, Reunion. The piece appears to be a flaperon and it will be flown to France to be investigated. I read that part of a suitcase was found too. I am glad that a piece of the plane has finally washed ashore, and hope that the find leads to more answers to the questions about the disappearance of the plane. Searchers are still looking for the two missing teens lost during a storm off the Florida coast. There is hope that they are floating on a cooler and since it is summer, they are still alive. My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of those lost on the Maylasian flight and the two young boys.

My Chinese Zodiac Sign

I was born in the Year of the Dragon, my husband in the Year of the Rooster. This came to mind because I was reading the book "Jade Island" (fiction) and the author writes that in Chinese culture a dragon is "immortal, patient, wise and infinintely subtle.' This spurred me to look at the characteristics of my husband's and my birth year. A dragon, a powerful sign, are energetic and warm-hearted, charismatic, lucky at love and egotistic. They're natural born leaders, good at giving orders and doing what's necessary to remain on top. Those born under the Chinese Zodiac sign of the rooster are practical, resourceful, observant, analytical, straight-forward, trusting, honest, perfectionists, neat and conservative. (Information found on a Chinese Zodiac site online).

Another Mass Shooting

I was sickened to hear that a man born in Kuwait went on a shooting rampage. He shot at a military recruiting center in Chattanooga and then drove 7 miles away to shoot through the windows of another military building. After the half hour shooting rampage, 4 military officers were dead, the shooter was dead, a police officer was wounded in the foot, and another military member injured. I guess on social media the shooter wrote that his life "was a prison." Neighbors said the family had lived in their home for 15 years, that the man's younger sister had babysat for them. My heart is sad. Where did this young man get his weapons and what was his motivation? I did some research, still need to do more, but found a chart from the Independent Journal, don't know how reliable it is and it is from 2009-20013. All the countries listed belong to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. 2009-2013

Country, Total Rampage shooting Fatalies, Total Rampage shooting Incidents, Total Shooting per 1,000,000 People

Norway, 77, 1, 0.19:

Finland, 8, 2, 0.37

Slovakia, 8, 1, 0.19

Israel, 11, 2, 0.25

Switzerland 6, 2, 0.25

US 227, 38, 0.12

Belgium, 7, 1, 0.09

Netherlands, 7, 1, 0.06

Germany, 25, 3, 0.04

UK, 13,1,0.02

Canada, 6,2, 0.06

France, 4,1,0.02

It is easy to see that the UK and France have the lowest total of rampage fatalities per 1,000,000 people. I need to research more articles and more up to date information.

Competition results and party questions

I suspected that things went awry in Texas because my sister did not post any comments about my niece. I ran into my sister on Monday, and she told me that my niece had come out of a turn and taken an extra step to adjust her horse riding stance in her form. This mistake flustered my niece and she forgot about presentation and loud ki yups. Consequently she missed the cut off by .5 of a point and came in 22nd in the country. I'm proud of her for her courage to compete, for her excellent sportsmanship and good attitude. She had fun and made many friends. On Saturday, a couple is hosting a party and their three daughters and their families will be together for the first time in many years. I have slipped bits of paper in balloons and will inflate them on Saturday. Questions such as "Did you get an allowance? How much?" "Your worst habit? Explain." "Best vacation. Why?" "Favorite hobby. Why?" "First date," and "Did you get an allowance and how much was it?" It sounds like every family member gets a turn to hold the floor. I answered these questions, my parents did not give me an allowance. I babysat, shoveled snow and cleaned house to earn money. My worst habit is to get addicted to something--soduko, reading, computers etc. My favorite hobby right now is riding my horse, Hope, and my first date was with the neighbor boy. We went mini golfing and had a pepsi. I enjoyed an anniversary visit this past spring. We stayed on the third floor of a bed and breakfast, and we both enjoyed stopping at the air zoo on the way home.

Niece competes today

My niece has been practicing tae kwon do forms to compete in the National Tae Kwon Do Tournament in Texas. She is fascinating to watch--good hip rotation, high kicks, loud ki ups. She will perform two forms in the initial competition, and to move on, she needs to be in the top 50%, then in the top 8. Her instructor believes she will place in the top 8, but acknowledges that there are some very good competitors in her group. If she places well, she could be on track to be a member of the Olympic Team. I enjoy watching American Ninja Warrior filmed in Pennsylvania. I told my husband that I would like to be a ninja (laugh). I am not tall or strong enough. It is interesting to watch and hear each competitor's story. One woman competed for her young autistic daughter. Another athlete drank too much, but got his life back on track, married, and with his wife's encouragement, went on to win the course. He camped for ten days, washing in the river until he could try out. He practiced the devil steps by hanging from the supports of an underpass. A young woman tried the course for her father who had Alzheimer's and has since passed away. Though she did not complete the course, the announcer said that her father would be proud of her. No matter whether or not the men and women compete the course, they should be proud that they had the opportunity to compete.

Riding Day

I woke up to the sound of raindrops on the roof. A perfect day to ride, since I use an inside arena. I decided to spice up my instructor and horses' lives, by stopping at the Tractor Store and buying oat and carrot treats, oat and apple treats and peppermints. Both the horses and my instructor enjoy the peppermints. When she opened the bag, it split and there were peppermints everywhere, but no worries. She said it would have been a good idea to use scissors. I rode a beautiful quarterhorse named Hope. She is always ready to go, so when I dropped the reins too early, my instructor told me to hang onto them, so she wouldn't lope into a trot. Live and learn. I groomed Hope and then kitted her up--half pad, saddle blanket, foam pad, saddle, tightened the girth. I put the ear net on too early, had to remove it to put the bridle on. Oh, and I adjusted the stirrups to the proper short length (thank you grandmas for the short legs!), Hope and I used the east side of the arena as Kate lunged Talia in the other half. We walked and trotted in half circles and diagonals. Dave was working with a young rider and Cramer so I had to be careful, but it makes me happy to see so much activity in the arena. I walked the horse around the orange cones, in and out. Tried to keep the right stirrup on the ball of my foot, go deep in the corners, hands still and hips forward. When I came home, I put on a rain slicker and the dogs romped around the field. I had to change and towel off the dogs, but just maybe, the next time it rains, the dog won't stand on the threshhold and whine, "Turn off the rain, Mom!" Enjoyed strawberry shortcake with whipped cream for lunch.

From young reader til now

When I was young, my dad varnished a bookcase and set it up in my room. (It is in my daughter's room now.) I can still feel the sunshine on my back and smell the varnish as I perused the shelf for a book to read. I was seven years old, and truth be told, I had a hard time reading the books on the shelf. I realize now that it was because these were not "I can read" books but books that an adult read to a child. Books like "A Child's Book of Ballet" by Violet La Monet 1953 and "A Child's Book of Flowers in woods and Fields" by Irma Wilde 1952. My librarian grandmother gave me these books. Included in this collection was a book with a red cover about coal. Eventually P. D. Eastman wrote "Sam and the Firefly" 1958 and Dr Seus created "The Cat and the Hat. 1957. Finally, books with vocabularies appropriate for young children. My sweet mother went to the library and came back with "Rowena the Sailor" by Ruth Langland Holberg. I laughed my way through it several times before it was due back. I grew up reading the Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Bobbsey Twins (though this series was juvenile) and Trixie Belden. I could polish off the Nancy Drew books in a couple hours. I envied Trixie her friendship with Jim and Honey. I wanted to have friends like that too, but alas I was shy and always had my "nose in a book." Later our elderly neighbors gave me Johanna Spryri's "Heidi." Interesting, because I knew the package under the tree was a book and over about a week, I stretched the tissue paper until I could read the title. My aunt gave me "Anne of Green Gables" by Lucy Maud Montgomery some years later. When I was a teen I read "That Certain Girl" by Dorothea J Snow, "When Sarah Smiled," by Kathleen Robinson and "The Defiant Heart" by Florence B Michelson, books published in the early 60s. I got a package from Modess with a pamphlet "Growing Up and Liking It" my mother's approach to menses. I discovered "The Honor Girl" by Grace Livingston Hill and "Girl of the Limberlost" by Gene Stratton Porter. I enjoyed Mary Stewart's early books, the romances--"Nine Coaches Waiting," "My Brother Michael," "The Ivy Tree" and my favorite "This Rough Magic." Stewart was such an accomplished writer. In high school, I read Dickens--"A Tale of Two Cities," "Oliver Twist," "David Copperfield" and "Great Expectations." I studied John Steinbeck's "The Pearl," "Our Town by Thornton Wilder and "The Great Gatsby" by F Scott Fitgerald. We asked our English teacher for happy books and to tell us the meaning of life. At the end of the semester, he read the phone book, the meaning of life. I read "Michael's Wife" which I surmised cost $2.49. Now, I can buy the book on ebay for $50. My grandpa called me on an old paperback I was reading because of course it had a picture of a long gowned, distressed heroine on the front. Have to research the title but it was about a newspaper reporter who headed out to interview Janus who predicted that the world would end in seven days. Back in the early 80's I read Diana Gabaldon's "Outlander." It is well-written and researched but to this day Captain's obsession and lust toward Jamie and Jamie's beating of Claire haunt me. Outlander is a series in England. Though Catherine Marshall's "Christy" is awkward at times, it's an intesting, intriguing read and had some influence on my career choice to be a teacher. I read Rebecca Brandewyne's romance "Love, Cherish Me." Too much ugliness...murder, rape, greed. And of course J. K. Rowling's first Harry Potter book. I wore the book "First Violin" by Jessie Fothergill into two halves. For fun, I tried to write a sequel, but realized that I knew nothing of life in England, so best give the idea up! I have kept a few books in my personal kindle library. Janette Oke's "The Calling of Emily Evans," mainly because of the interesting history of female deaconesses in Canada, "Minnie Chase Makes a Mistake," a well-written book by Helen MacArthur, a fun book "Studs and Stilletos" by Bev Petersen, "Pink Balloons and Other Things" by Nancy Tessler to name a few. I also have come to appreciate the poetry and lyrical verses of the old Bible my grandfather gave me. It seems to me that few authors of today have the writing flair, originality, plot line and character development of the writers of yore. I find an intesting author every once in a great while and enjoy the read, but the books don't hold the same importance in my development as the earlier books.

Love wins!

It took 20 years, but finally the US Supreme Court has legalized same sex marriages in all 50 states. Oh happy happy day! 36 states had legalized same sex marriage, but unfortunately, the state I live banned same sex marriages. The fight is not over yet. We still have small minded individuals who inflict their prejudice and cruelty toward people that they deem to be wrong, living in sin, different or plain just don't like. We can celebrate, but there is still a lot of work to be done. On the world wide level, there are countries who put homosexuals to death. Let's embrace bio-individuality. It is the force that makes the world go round.

Comfort food

My husband has a couple favorite meals that he enjoys--comfort food if you will. He especially likes a chicken vegetable dish baked in the oven until bubbly and then topped with biscuits. Once the biscuits are baked, they are served on a plate and covered with the chicken gravy mix. Yesterday, I baked a couple steaks in the oven over several hours, added baby carrots and leftover baked potatoes. Along with an ear of corn, garlic bread, salad and fresh peaches, we had a delicious meal. He commented that the dinner was just like Grandma's and the carrots were perfect. Grandma always served homemade apple pie for dessert. No pie, but strawberry shortcake was available if wanted. A nice day yesterday. I needed butter and freezer bags and as long as I was at the store, I added to my wardrobe, a pair of whimsical black and white capris with a rouched shirt, summer loungers to sleep and relax in, and a pretty black and white shirt for work. There is something renewing in new clothes or a new hair cut. My daughter's friend stopped by and we had a nice visit while we waited for my daughter to return from the tire store. She had picked up a spike in her tire.

Counting my blessngs

A woman called today to order a planter as a gift for her dad for Father's Day. Both of our fathers were born in 1926, and coincidentally, the woman and I share the same birth year. Both of our mothers are living also. We are so very lucky to have our parents for all these years. So many people have lost their parents when they were young. My husband and I are still together after many years and though he exasperates me at times, really through no fault of his, it's more processing issues, I am very fortunate. Many of my friends are widows. I have been given so many blessings--children, pets, home, career, spiritual life, physical activities, nature and warm happy memories. All my needs are met. Not to say that everything is perfect and that at times I am not anxious. However, I am most grateful for all the blessings I have received.

In Cold Blood

It's hard to comprehend how so much hate could build up in a 21 year old mind that he would shoot and kill nine people at a church Bible Study. I look at his picture and see a slight, sandy haired boy staring into the camera lens or in some of the pictures showing his tongue between his teeth. And I'm sad. Every time there is a racial incident, I am sad because all the hard work to end racial tension has gone to waste and relationships have been set back 100 years. What happened here? This young man was off the grid, under the radar. No one could have foreseen that he would take the gun purchased in April, join the Bible study for an hour, and then begin shooting the participants. With a mind so far gone, this kid would have found other ways to kill black people had a gun not been available. I reiterate...I don't understand. This kid was completely off balance and there was no way to assess the gravity of his hatred, and now it is way too late.

Rest in Peace, Skooty Dog

My boss sent me a message that her dog passed away last night. I remember meeting Skooty when he was a small warm bundle of fur. I dogsat for a night, taking him for a walk around the area, and discovering that grass made his feet itch. I fixed him ham and cheese for dinner and snuggled on the couch and watched movies. Later, we both tried to sleep, unsuccessfully because he had allergies and I was in a strange bed with a dog who was itching. My boss' husband passed almost two years ago and I like to think of Skooty romping at the feet of his best friend. I think my boss might be relieved that Skooty is gone. The past few months, Skooty had separation anxiety making leaving for work difficult. I rode last Friday and again on Tuesday. I trotted in half circles, around the full arena and in figure eights. I worked on keeping Hope's head straight and my hands still and my mouth shut so I wouldn't apologize for everything I did wrong. Constant apologies bother my instructor. My mother's aide attended a funeral service yesterday, so I helped Dad take care of my mother and we took a field trip to the nail salon. I could not attend hapkido classes the last three times, but was able to start again last night. It felt good to be back. Planning on going to kickfit after work. I wonder why elderly animals get skinny and don't seem to be able to maintain their weight. Dad is frail and skinny. Planning on a special meal and a few gifts for my husband on Sunday in celebration of Dad's Day.

My perceptions

Perhaps it's no coincidence that I just finished reading Karen Kinsbury's novel "Just Beyond the Clouds." In the novel, the main female character works with adults with Down Syndrome, teaching them life skills, with the hope that they will eventually be independent. The main male character resists the idea of the independence of his younger brother who has Downs. I now find myself in the same situation as the main male character. My friend wants to spread her wings and leave her group home and live in an apartment with three other women. She has not been successful in an apartment situation in the past. She consistently ended in the hospital and in another group home. I asked her some questions yesterday. "Can she fix herself lunch? How will she get her groceries? Is she responsible for cleaning the apartment?" She told me she can microwave dishes and fix canned soup. A van will take her to the grocery store. My friend can't walk well..is waiting for knee surgery. Will the pain prohibit her from taking a bus? In the book, Elle comments. "We monitor every step of the way. We don't just drop them off at their apartment and wish them luck." I want my friend to be successful in this new adventure, but I am concerned that she might not have developed enough maturity to deal with the dynamics of the women in her apartment. I feel that she has not been monitored, that she has not been prepared. Only my perceptions and of course I will assisst her in any way possible to help her become independent.

A Young Teen's Suicide

I was reading my facebook page when I came across an article in the Washington Post about a young girl who committed suicide by jumping off a highway bridge. She was 13 years old. The police say "She made poor choices." Who among us has not made a poor choice? I certainly have made a plethora of poor choices. I read that this young girl was desperately unhappy, writing that in the midst of all the students at the school, she felt lonely. I know that feeling too. In the midst of a crowd, I feel the loneliest. I understand that she had written suicide notes blaming only herself for her poor choices. Teens face so much pressure--self esteem issues, acceptance from peers, meeting the expectations of their parents, excelling in school and extra curricular activities. This young life ended before it began--13 years old. My heart is heavy at the loss of this young life. I can't help her, but I can be more understanding of the self centered, noisy, making more work for me young people that come into the store. I can take more to heart my mentally ill friend's words, "I want to run away." I will spend more time with elderly people who have seen all their friends and family pass away. Rest in Peace, Little One. 2002-2015

Lazy day

I had the day off today because the branch store manager is on vacation and beginning tomorrow, I have to work eight days straight. I got up early, drove off to church services, came home and made scrambled eggs and a bagel for breakfast. I made tuna pasta salad and sloppy joes for later, cleaned up the kitchen and took the dogs around the field. We went into the woods on the path closest to the school. I came home and was sitting when I heard a noise like raindrops. It was not raining outside. No, the window on the storm door was cracking into a zillion little pieces. My husband attributed the break to temperature extremes. I cleaned up the glass shards, in the window, on the porch and sidewalk and on the mulch under the outdoor spigot.

If only there had been an intervention

I read a very sad story yesterday. A young teacher drove to work, climbed out of her van, locked the car, forgetting that her young baby daughter was safely strapped into her carseat. The mother taught all day, no doubt celebrating that the end of the school year was Friday, and that she could spend more time with her little daughter. How horrified she was when she came out to her van to discover that her little girl had died due to the extreme temperatures in the car. Was the baby in the car because her mom planned to drop her off at daycare? Was she going to visit the school for the day? An end of the year treat? Why couldn't this mom have gotten a timely message, an intervention if you will, so that she could have rushed to the van in time to save her daughter? In the case of the house washed away down the river last month, why couldn't have someone knocked on the door evacuating the families and saving eight lives? About the sightseeing boat that capsized on the Yangtze river killing over 400 people. What if something had detained the boat so that it wasn't at the critical point in the river? How can people be on such a collision course with disaster, both with other people and with nature? I remember sitting in the car in the bank parking lot, waiting for my husband to finish his business. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the car next to me begin to slowly back up. The driver was still in the bank. I hopped out of the car and held the other vehicle until the owner came out, saving the car from crashing into the cars at the bottom of the hill. Many times, people have intervened in my or my family's life. I was lost in Chicago and a woman showed me the way. Many years ago, when my daughter was a toddler she opened the front door and unbeknownst to us went down the street. Two young girls brought her to our neighbor's house and our neighbors brought her home.

A cruise on the Detroit Princess

My husband and I received two tickets for a dinner cruise on the Detroit Princess. A wonderful experience. Friendly helpful people in Detroit, a delicious buffet dinner, a spectacular cruise under the Ambassador bridge and floating past the Windsor and Detroit city scape.

Helpful, considerate people

Since the nicer weather, I have noticed that drivers are less considerate...they have been cutting me off, turning in front of me, running red lights. I decided to exercise extra caution (no sense in getting a dent in my new car), but to be honest was feeling aggravated. A few days ago, I made a conscious effort to stay relaxed and unaffected by the inconsiderate drivers around me, to say to myself that they must have some very important reason for behaving the way they are, and to bless them on their way. I was controlling my reaction and attempting to put a positive spin on the actions of these drivers. It worked, traveling the city became more enjoyable. Yesterday I read this facebook post from my niece. "It's truly sad to see so many people who have somehow lost common courtesy. Why are we so selfish and wrapped up in our own world that we can't give the thank you wave to someone letting us cut in or a simple thank you to the person holding the door for us...just noticing the general rudeness of people." I did have the occasion to deal with four very helpful people today. One at the insurance and ambulance service company, one at the district library, and the young woman who pulled her car back so my dogs and I could get by. My new mantra, "treat people as I would like to be treated." Being proactive here.

Tragedies

Certain tragedies grab hold and won't let me rest. The sun shines, the sky is blue, but sadness hovers at the periphery of my mind. And I can't explain why I feel more connected to certain tragedies than others, becauuse all tragedies are loss. I remember the crash of flight 255 in Detroit. I looked at the pictures of the victims in the paper (pre computer days), studying the faces of families, honeymooners, business people. My eldest daughter had attended a seminar in Japan. A few months later the tsunami completely devastated Japanese villages. This past winter, I scrolled through photos of homes destroyed on the east coast by the large amount of snowfall. Over Memorial Day weekend, a foot of rain dropped on Texas, causing massive flooding. I read about a young high school student caught in the flood and drowning on her way home from prom. A husband who went under the flood waters and hasn't been seen since. A house ripped off stilts, carried downstream taking several family members downstream, It broke apart after crashing into a bridge. I can't imagine hurtling downstream in a house in the dark. Three men, three women, three children. So far only one man is accounted for, a dad and husband whose wife and children are missing. Three bodies have been pulled from the river awaiting identification. My thoughts and prayers are with the families in Texas who have suffered the loss of loved ones or their homes.

Tiring week

Thursday afternoon, my dad called to let me know that my mother was in the hospital. She had celulitis and needed IV antibiotics. I visited her at the hospital in the morning to help feed her, worked at the flower shop and then stayed with her at the hospital until she was settled for the night. One evening, hoping to entice my dad to eat, I stopped at a restaurant and bought a turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy dinner and some chicken soup. My mother came home yesterday afternoon along with a prescription for heavy duty antibiotics. Her blood saturation level is low and she has some fluid in her lungs. I visited after work--my sister-in-law was at the house helping. My dad said he didn't get much sleep last night. I came home and took a nap for a couple hours. Have to get up early Monday morning.

Back online with a 10" RCA tablet

Today I bought a RCA tablet with keyboard. It has a 10.1 inch screen and front and rear cameras. It is an android tablet and does not run on Windows 8. It will take a while to learn how to use it, but it is so good to be online again. I decided that I needed a good sized screen, dual cameras and a keyboard. I read consumer reports this morning and unfortunately, there are many unhappy customers. The complaints vary from "the machine won't turn on to the screen shows black and white streaks." It's sad, because I really like the tablet, user friendly and efficient and if my tablet dies, I will be upset. I only paid $150 and it has a 1 year warranty which is what I would expect. I might purchase an extended warranty because I like the tablet so much. I am not used to the right shift key so am constantly paging down. The distraction of the tablet seems to have helped me forget about gum and teeth pain. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and really don't think there is anything seriously wrong. I have been using toothpaste for sensitive teeth and a gum numbing oral rinse and taking acetiminophen. I think the mouth pain is a reaction to stress or maybe the loss of the Asus tablet. It was expensive and to find the touchscreen unexplicably damaged caused major disruption in my life. On the Integrative Nutrition workshop front, we discussed relationships. My sister said, "I know all about you!" and "Is your mentally ill friend still in your life?" When I told her she was, my sister said, "I'd let her exit your life." It upset me because I have been friends with my mentally ill friend for over 30 years. I answered some questions to determine which Ayurvedic body type I am, and had the same number for summer/pitta and spring/kapha. Our homework this week is to eat a serving of leafy greens every day and to try some new leafy greens, in my case bok choy.

Insurance runs out

On Saturday, my husband told me that the insurance to replace my Asus T100 tablet would end the next day. I facetiously and with no mal intentions told him that my tablet would break two days after the replacement insurance ended. On Monday afternoon, I browsed for riding boots. I need some mid calf riding boots for spring and summer my current riding boots are fur lined. Shortly after online shopping, the tablet began showing lots of ads and scanning continuously. I surmised that I had picked up some malware so downloaded a malware scan and an anti virus program. I decided to clean the screen as you know how many fingerprints get on a touchscreen device. That was when my heart dropped to my toes. I noticed a pin sized hole with tiny cracks spidering from it on the touchscreen. The tablet was ruined and the replacement insurance has expired. I have absolutely no idea how the damage occurred! I did not drop the tablet. I did not expose it to extreme temperatures. To be honest,I've rarely used it in recent days. I can only surmise, that something got between the touch screen and keyboard. My husband had upgraded his phone recently and as part of the package got a tablet. It works well but has only a virtual keyboard which I find difficult to use for my blogging.

Integrative Nutriton Pilot Program

My sister, her husband and daughter, a friend from exercise class and I are participating in a pilot program, "Integrative Nutrition." I thought the pilot was going to be about healthy eating. The leader is serious about preparing whole foods for her family and about free trade products, so she definitely has a slant to her workshops. Last Thursday we met as a group for the first time. She started the evening with the question "what is new and free?" My husband and I had just returned from a stay at a bed and breakfast to celebrate our 40th anniversary. We stayed on the third floor of a Victorian style home, away from all the other guests. We drove to small cities in the area, and ate at the Grill House, featured on Travel TV. On the way home we visited the air museum. We saw exhibits starting with the Wright brothers up to the Space Shuttle. We blasted off on a simulator and flew to the International Space Station. Very fun! In 2012, a plane was dredged up from Lake Michigan where she had sat for 50 some years. She is being refurbished--her engine parts rebuilt and the body repaired. The process will take about five years. I sat in the cabin of a helicopter--no body or engine. It was the only cabin that I was sure I would not have to be shoe horned out of! And the bed and breakfast was the start of a 5 day vacation! So I felt at peace. The second activity was to fill out a form appropriately called "The Circle of Life." We place a dot on a spoke indicating where we think we are regarding career, finance, spirituality, relationships, social life, health, healthy cooking etc. If a dot is toward the center, we might consider working on that "food." The leader said that a joyful, fulfilled person is less likely to head toward food. My homework is to consider a goal, think deeply on why I want to work on that goal, and then divide it into monthly increments. The pilot program lasts two months. I was thinking today that it is so easy for me to prejudge. I will learn in the next months the intricacies of the Integrative Nutrition Program. I am going to take gossip with a grain of salt. I got a load today from my daughter's friend and will be careful about believing it all. You know I heard a very interesting bit on the radio. The speaker was saying that it is how a person makes one feel that attracts. It is not physical beauty or outside attributes. He gave the example of two people talking, and one asks the other, "What do you think of my scar?" The other person responds, "What scar?" I have to remember this in my relationships.

Spring cleaning

We've been busy preparing the house for weekend guests. We bought a new queen mattress set so set up the old set in the guest room. Lots of exercise trucking furniture downstairs and setting up the beds and laundering linens! Yesterday, since it is spring, I cleaned. Spiffed up the bathrooms and removed the rugs from the kitchen and cleaned the laminate. My husband did some grocery shopping--breakfast items for our Easter Sunday meal and rolls and pumpkin pie to take to my Dad's for dinner. Today, I am taking my friend to get her reading glasses, going to lunch and making a stop at the grocery store. I have some banking to do this morning and hapkido in the evening. Not too much on my list except to clean the aquarium. I am hoping to make it to church if all goes well.

Of Spring and March Madness

Happy Spring! A gray gloomy gus day here, but at least the calendar says it's spring. A blood moon and a solar eclipse. A countdown to launching the boat in Lake Michigan in May! Spring is on the way! During the month of March I submit my predictions for the 64 collegiate basketball teams. I have filled out 11 sheets of predictions. Unfortunately for me, six of the teams I predicted to advance lost in the opening game. Sigh! Once the field of 32 is down to 16, I have a second chance to win a Best Buy Gift Card of $5000. That would be nice, though the cash would be better. Found a new inspirational romance author that I like, Ms, Mary Eason from Texas. I stumbled on one of her books yesterday and it was wonderful. Quirky likeable characters, a flowing writing style, no profanity or graphic sex--so refreshing. Haven't decided if I will read more of her books. Multiple book authors become formulaic. I had given up chocolate for Lent, but sadly ate several chocolate chip cookies and a chocolate Hostess creme filled cake. Was feeling a bit aggravated and the chocolate calmed me down, so at least I didn't bite someone's head off!

The word "smirk"

The authors of the last three books have sprinkled the word "smirk" in their stories. Sorry, but that word has a very negative connotation. The definition of smirk is "to smile in a conceited way. to smile at someone's unhappiness." So if one of the main characters "smirks" at the other main character, I am going to dislike that character because that person is enjoying the unhappiness of someone else. I dislike taking off a rating star because of that word, but do feel strongly that a smirking character is not someone I would trust or enjoy as a friend. Just a thought. Basically when I am deciding whether or not to download an ebook, I read the reviews with the fewest rating stars. These reviews discuss plot, character development, setting, writing style, profanity. I don't consider the reviewers who tell me "the book wouldn't download." Sometimes an author's entire plot is discussed in reviews and I don't need to read the book. A good review is not a synopsis of the plot. I finally understand what my teachers were talking about when they begged, "Do not write what occurs in the book. I know the plot." Back in the day, dating myself here, I memorized the Baltimore Catechism. Today, all us ancient ones, answered the question, "Why did God make me?" The Baltimore Catechism answer, "To know him, love him and serve him in this world and to be happy with him in the next." The presider's aside (sorry about the alliteration) "because he loves us." Nice to know that in spite of our character flaws we are loved.

Flower Shop

Emotionally Draining Week

On Monday, my Dad, brother and sister met with the funeral home to prearrange my parents' funeral. Initially, we were planning to buy a funeral insurance plan, but on Tuesday my dad decided that he wanted to pay for the services when they were needed. So I had to call the funeral home associate and tell her. When we got back to my parents' home after the meeting, I discovered that the phone at their house had no dial time. I had to make several calls to the repair line to arrange for a tech to come out. My dad and I went to the service access box and determined that the problem was outside the home. Turned out that the wire from the pole was bad. I also went shopping for caffeine free pepsi, several lactose free ice cream brands, milk free pudding and the ingredients for a pizza--sausage, ham and dairy free cheese. Dad is lactose intolerant and does not make the enzymes to digest meat. My mother's aide and I took my mother for a manicure and to get her toe nails trimmed. I just got home when my friend called and asked me if I would be available to take her to the eye center to pick up her reading glasses, and then go to McDonalds's and the grocery store sometime in April. Please. My sister said that as executor of my parents' will, I have all the power. If she would like the responsibility that goes with the power, she can jump right in.

Genealogy--It's a small world

My dad was curious about his paternal great great grandparents. He wanted to know their names and occupations. My nephew had worked on our family tree, so he was able to tell my dad their names and when they came over to the US from England. Not sure of their occupations although my dad thinks they were farmers. They had six children. I work with a woman at the flower shop and her mother's maiden name and my dad's last name are the same. It turns out that our great grandfathers were brothers, although my dad said that her great grandfather isolated himself from the family. So she and I are third cousins. Even more crazy is that her mother's sister married my mother's brother--her aunt married my uncle and together they had two children. So this woman and I have two first cousins in common.

My knit hat comes off my head

So I lost my entire blog entry. I magically hit a combination of keys on my tablet and voila, the entire discourse disappeared. And to be honest, it is probably a good thing. Last Tuesday, I had the opportunity to deal with our credit union. Before the credit union, I had to go to another bank to cash in a couple bonds (since the credit union does not buy and sell bonds). I asked for a cashier check. Earlier in the day to head off any problem, I had called the main office and asked if there would be a delay while the cashier check went through. The representative told me that there would not be delay, but she also didn't ask me the amount of the check. Oh Woe! Because when I tried to transfer funds at the credit union, I could not because, guess what, the check needs two days to clear. I realized after the manager woman came and talked to me that I was a mess, that my brown knit hat with the stretchy elastic was escaping off my head! I can't imagine what a sight I must have been. I sent an email to the main office but haven't gotten a response and I don't really expect one. I assure you I will not be setting foot in that credit union any time soon!

Energy level coming up

I worked 60 hours over the past 5 days. I didn't sleep well..something would wake me up and I would rise up like a shot and not be able to go back to sleep. I didn't eat well, mostly foods that I could grab on the run and my brain was always on high alert. Needless to say, by the end of Valentine's day, I was cranky and irritable and so uninhibited. Whatever I thought came out of my mouth. I apologized to my boss for being a shrew. She initially denied knowing what I was talking about, and then commented that she thought it was funny. So much for being taken seriously. She made a "mouse that roared" comment. Not sure I want to be compared to a mouse. I could not (even though I enjoy it) cook anything on Saturday or Sunday evening. I slept for 2 1/2 hours yesterday and could not make myself wake up enough to go train in martial arts. I did not have the energy to go to my hair appointment, and my riding lesson was canceled because of the cold.

Hope we're busy at the store

Yesterday, I was busy taking orders over the phone for Valentine's Day. I had a hard time the day before because I expected lots of customers, and very few people came in. I got a bit cranky--either from boredom or hunger, not sure. Yesterday was better as I was occupied and didn't have time to get irritable. One of our drivers ruined a surprise when he called the recipient to get her location. I couldn't figure out what was going on as the order is supposed to be delivered today. Now we have a very disappointed customer as his gift is no longer a surprise. The owner offered an incentive--$5 if we take an order for two dozen roses. I already took one, another sales associate took two. I woke up bright eyes and bushy tailed in early am. I just can't settle enough to sleep. Or I sleep, wake up and then can't go back to sleep. So after tossing and turning for a couple hours, I got up at 4:45am. Stopped at my dad's house on the way home about 9pm last night. The doctor thinks my dad is lactose intolerant (which makes sense), and my dad is drinking lactose free milk, so he gave me 1 1/2 gallons of milk.

Noisy Cat

Today I worked at the flower shop for four hours. The time flew past. After work, I took some carnations and a rose to my Mother and wished my parents a Happy Valentine's Day. My sister in law was helping my mother and she told me that one of their dogs is sick. He blood level is low,he is dehydrated and something is going on with his kidney. He needs a lot of tests. My dad's cat scan showed him to be cancer-free, but he needs to see a gastro doctor. I have the day off tomorrow and plan to rest. With Valentine's day coming up, I will be working the rest of this week and next Sunday and Monday. I was awakened this morning by a banshee screech and growling. Turned out that a long-haired cat was peering in the side window by the front door, and our big tabby was having a fit.

Like a book between bookends

The other day, my mother and I were having a chat. She tells her stories as she remembers them and we laugh. My mother as you know has mobility issues and a form of dementia. Some days she is spot on and other days not so much. But I called to make sure my almost 90 year old parents were safe and snug and had everything they needed to weather the snow storm. In the conversation my mother told me, "You are a saintly person." Probably not true, as helpful as I can be at times, I periodically feel resentment and anger. I can be so patient with my mother and father and have made some progress with acting patiently toward my 70 year old husband. In early December, I was dealing with feelings of anger about my husband, but now I realize that he has many of the elderly type symptoms exhibited by my parents. He's forgetful, tired, achy, hearing impaired. I focus on his helpful ways--working 5 days a week, grocery shopping, paying the bills and taking care of the yard in summer. The yard is his pride and joy. But I have to do all the rest. Cooking, serving, cleaning up afterwards, laundry, cleaning the house. Yesterday afternoon, I went to help care for my mother for a couple hours, so I made sure there was a prominent note so my husband would know where I was. Sometimes he jumps to conclusions. I called his store one time recently and he hurried home sure that something terrible had happened. I thank the universe that I can do things. On Super Bowl Sunday, I had splurged on hot chocolate and cookies. The next morning I woke up dizzy and nauseous. Once I had eaten and my blood sugar stabilized, I felt fine. But the branch store manager has pain in her knee from a tear, one owner has a serious respiratory infection and another store colleague blacked out at the grocery store from low blood pressure and also has some kidney issues and colitis. I need to take care of myself, my husband and my parents and feel like walls are closing on me, like a book between two bookends.

Snow Storm

I just called my elderly parents to make sure that they did not need anything. I was the third call of the day. My sister and aunt had already checked in. I had to work at the flower shop. We had two customers, a woman who bought a blooming plant for her secretary, and the president of the university who had been driving around trying to determine if she should cancel classes tomorrow. I don't think there will be classes tomorrow. My husband has already snow plowed the driveway twice--once so I could get to work and then again so I could get back up. It's Super Bowl Sunday here. Pizza houses around the country count on Bowl Sunday to make lots of money. The snow makes it a challenge.

The Difficulties of Finding a Good Book to Read

After dinner and cleanup, I enjoy sitting in the living room with my husband. I like to read on the kindle app and he plays solitaire on his smart phone. So we are together, but not together. I borrow ebooks from the public library or download free books offered online. To be honest, I never buy books, because I am a quick reader and don't want to waste money. I have five or so criteria for rating a novel highly--setting, plot, character development and likeability, maturity, originality, and flow of writing style, and morality of the characters. For instance, I liked a book well enough but disliked the main character when she hopped into bed with her former lover while her husband (who had an affair) lay in a coma. It has been extremely difficult to find a book that meets all the criteria. Generally, an author chooses the perfect setting. However some writing styles are childish and immature and the conversations are awkward and disjointed. Cliches are boring to read. In some books, the main character acts stupidly and puts him or herself in danger. I have written several novels myself so I know the difficulty involved in writing a book. On a positive note, I have downloaded ten or so novels written by various authors who have met all my criteria. However, I am looking for new authors to wile away the hours.

Winded

Last night my husband told me that he was stocking windshield wiper fluid boxes at the automotive parts store where he works. He became winded and had to stop. He is concerned that he will have to have open heart surgery and be off work for a while. We won't know for a few weeks as his check up with his cardiologist is not until early February. Praying and trying to remain positive. His heart problems were diagnosed in 1995 and he has had several stents. His cardiologist monitors his condition although he had a check up one day and was taken by ambulance to the hospital the same day for a stent replacement. Effects him emotionally also and I'm positive the meds contribute to his memory issues.

Repairs Around the House

In my jewelry case, I had a dozen or so small cosmetic pendants. None had chains so I wasn't able to wear the for years. At Christmastime my daughter mentioned that she misplaced her cross necklace, and I had a cross (sans chain) that my boyfriend had given me when I was 16. I gave the cross to her and we went shopping and she found a chain on sale. Since then she told me that she found her original cross necklace near where she kept it on a candle. Said that "an angel must have moved it, so that I could find it." After our shopping adventure, I considered how I could replace a dozen or so chains inexpensively. I searched online and finally decided that I would purchase some chains, rings and alligator clasps at a local craft store. I spend a couple days working with the jewelry. I wanted to hang the necklaces so that the chains would not get tangled. Many years ago my sister brought a small treasure chest from a souvenir shop. It was missing a hinge, the clasp was lost, and a stud that hold the chain so the chest opens only a certain distance, had fallen out. So I went to the hardware store and purchased a 3/4" hinge set, a decorative hasp, and some furniture brads (only needed 1). Very delicate work and it took forever until I figured out to use the vice on the workbench and my husband came home and got out his drill and smallest bit. I was struggling with my relationship with my sister and fixing the chest was symbolic of repairing that relationship. It all had to do with her perception of my parents' situation. She can't know the true situation if she hears what my brother and his wife feed her and only see my parents on holidays when everyone is drinking and tired. Of course I will deal with whatever comes up. Plan to visit with them today.

"Worry about nothing, but pray about everything..."

My youngest daughter experienced anxiety and depression, so last summer she began taking antidepressant meds. And while she had a very successful semester at university, she is having difficulty with increased appetite which is causing weight gain. Lately, she has been watching "My 600 Pound Life," and I'm wondering if there is some significance it that, even though she weighs 150 or so. I also remind her that she is underage and to not drink or smoke pot, but I feel that this is falling on deaf ears. She came in early am, and I heard a crash in the bathroom, and this morning the wax seal on the toilet appears to be broken or the tank is loose, as water is pouring out of the base of the toilet. On my other daughter's 21st birthday and legal drinking day, she pulled down the shower curtain as she fell in the tub. So, I am concerned and am trying not to worry, but turning to prayer. And I pray that my son will find the right person to share his life. You know my husband's issues, arthritis, heart disease, tiredness, shortness of breath and memory issues. I did take my friend to her eye appointment and she has cataracts and needs surgery. The appointment lasted 4 hours, she missed her van ride home, I had to drive her 12 miles home and then back home. Of course, I had to fill the car with gas as I didn't plan to drive so many miles and the low gas indicator chimed. Once home, I fixed dinner and cleaned up and opted out of hapkido. Surprisingly, my sister and her husband understood because they had days like this with his mom. I am working on repairing a string of Christmas lights and a net. It's not because I want to save money, but because my Dad gave me both sets and the pink lights are my son's favorite. My sister mentioned researching palliative care help for my mother. She said the definition of palliative care is that the "person will not improve." We had someone from care come to the house a couple years ago, and it was a "no go" so doesn't seem like we would get help now. My Dad is concerned that he can only pay for aides for my mother for two more years.

Too Cold to Ride

I scheduled a riding lesson, and then since I was near my hair stylist arranged to get my hair cut. Not sure how this would work out as 1-3 inches of snow was predicted. I got an email from my riding instructor last night, "too cold to ride in the morning, so I will see you next week." I am still hoping to keep my hair appointment. My sister and brother in law commented that they couldn't believe I scheduled an appointment over kickfit. I have two days off, Tuesday and Wednesday. On these days, I prefer to do (or not do) exactly what I want to do. I am already annoyed because my friend needs a ride to her eye appointment, and asked me to take her on Wednesday. It is not out of the goodness of my heart, but because I know she has been waiting for this appointment for a month. I need to say no and tell them--I want no obligations on my day off except what I choose to do, and not feel guilty because of it. I dislike when people tell me what to do on my days off and fill up every moment, whether it be an exercise class or an eye appointment. Sometimes, I want to be home reading or napping.

The Only Constant in Life is Change

In 2013, our daughter married, bringing a son-in-law into the family. And this week, my oldest daughter told me that she has been seeing someone and that he was driving 500 miles to spend New Year's Eve along with some other days with her. I suspected that she was seeing someone because she had secret, private conversations. I am very glad. Her man is quiet and he did not converse with me, but maybe at their age, they feel that it is not necessary to interact with parents... Now, if my youngest son and daughter can discover someone. They are both leery of talking to people that they don't know, but perhaps a soul-mate is in the near future for them. I began the day at church and took to heart the message that "it is not the size of the act that counts, but more the love that goes with the act." A fine mantra for 2015.