A New Year 2018 Resolution

I have come up with an exciting New Year 2018 Resolution. No resolution of diet and exercise for me! I have been sick with an upper respiratory infection for a week which affects my cognition, hearing among other things. On Christmas Day, my sister was telling me that the bread she gave us needed to be heated in the oven for a few minutes. I didn't hear that she was talking about the bread. When my Dad opened his gift I told him that his hot chocolate needed to be heated in the oven. My sister said, "Oh, my God! That's hot chocolate!" She was imagining my 91 year old dad heating his hot chocolate in the oven! Last night, my husband and I had a difference of opinion about the cause of opoid addiction and circumstances concerning some bonds that I have. I noticed recently in conversations with my children, except my oldest son, that they always defend or support their thoughts or actions. Perhaps I defended my thoughts and actions while they were growing up and they picked up on it. I don't know. However, at my age, I'm entitled to my opinions and definitely don't feel that I have to be defensive. I want them to undertand that there are options, multiple ways to achieve goals, more than one way to be a good parent. I hope that they would be progressive thinkers, non judgemental and full of love for all, especially those who are different. I am charmed by the non typical store customer, even though he or she can cause a lot of work for me. My sweet mom was judgemental and I catch myself judging, but call myself on it. After thinking for awhile and feeling picked on by my husband, sister, and daughters, I decided that the fault was not with them. I have gotten the impression that my sister thinks I'm stupid. My daughter, who is living with us until April, prefers to spend time with her friends, not with her old mom. No matter how general and innocent a topic, my husband is a bully and a grouch. I've asked a few friends to pray for us, to strengthen our marriage, because every marriage is hard work. So then these relationship difficulties rely with me and I need to do something to change my feelings of low self esteem, acting non assertive. I know I am loyal, conscientious, reliable, honest, intelligent, hard working, a nurturing grandma and a loving daughter. However I need to continue to strengthen my marriage, support my husband and children. For my New Year's resolution, I have decided to listen... Listen, listen and listen again. And ackowledge what the person is saying and feeling.

Money

On Wednesday, my granddaughter and I drove to the flower shop to pick up two wreaths. If it is nice on Sunday, my dad and brother will drive to the cemeteries and place the wreaths on my Mother's and grandparent's graves. While I was there, the President of the company asked me to meet with him. Our flower shop, which consists of the main store and the branch store where I work, is acquiring a third store. The owner is retiring and moving out of state. The president asked me if I'd be willing to work at the new store. I told him that I would enjoy the challenge. I realized that one of my work days conflicts with taking care of my granddaughter while her mother works, so wrote an email and asked if I could contine working at the main store on that day. He is still working on plans. I think the manager of the branch store might be retiring in the spring, so it might make more sense to have me continue working here and train another person to manage the new store. I drank hot chocolate late last night and the theobromin kept me awake, my mind thinking about my granddaughter, sister and husband. Funny what I think of when my mind is whirling. After discussing a plan with my husband, I withdrew some money to shop for my husband's Christmas presents. One of the items was sold out. I bought the next closest item, hoping my husband will like it. I wanted to shop for my husband Thursday, the day before I got paid. He commented that I used money he intended to use for bills. He couldn't write checks anyway as it turns out because he needs a new check register. Since I was paid today, I withdrew the money for my riding lesson and Sunday coffee. The rest is available for bills.

22 Hours of Free Time

Last week after Mass, the presider announced that someone was needed to set up the altar and clean up for Sunday Mass. I weighed the pros and cons and after deliberating, decided that I could go to the chapel a few minutes early and stay after a few minutes. On Thursday, I met with the chaplain and she explained my job responsibilities. Tomorrow will be the first time that I set up for Mass. On Wednesday, I was thinking about making a baby bundle. A baby bundlle contains receiving and crib blankets, booties, onesies, sleepers, diapers, baby bottles. I need to sell some things to make the baby bundle...my flute, my martial arts kicking bag etc. After work tomorrow, my husband and I are meeting his cousins for a meal. They changed their meeting time to allow me to come after work. I am exhausted after work but will try to go with my husband tomorrow. After figuring in work hours, babysitting, riding, walking the dogs, cooking and cleaning, sleeping, I have 22 hours of down time. I enjoy wiling away my free time with movies and books that take me away from reality and make me laugh.

Need to research and know what to expect

Last June, my best friend was seriously injured when her taxi hit the back of a flat bed truck. She was on a ventilator, had several operations including repair to broken bones in her thighs and a graft for a burn. She had a concussion. I visited her several times, but she was on pain meds and didn't recognize me. I decided to forgo the visits for a while and send her cards. She wrote to me and during the last couple weeks and left a phone message. Finally, we arranged to get together yesterday. I was worried about finding her at the facility for brain injured where she lives. Fortunately, a staff member was in the parking lot and walked with me to the dining room. I had misconceptions, so the visit was stressful. My friend is immobile, in a wheelchair, and has edema. She did converse with me and introduce me to other residents and staff. she felt hemmed in and was preoccupied with the logistics of getting out of the dining room, mentioning this multiple times while I was eating. I wasn't prepared for the number of brain injured people in heavy wheelchairs, the degree of injury, the smells. My friend had a doctor appointment, and I was glad because after a short time, I was overwhelmed and wanted to go home. In order to prepare myself for new situations, I need to research and know what to expect.

Unconditional friendship

I play toys with my 4 month old baby granddaughter. We read board books together. She has her favorites, Peekaboo Baby, Little Lost Sheep and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. She plays on her tummy until she becomes frustrated. She likes to watch the mobile of colorful fall leaves and the cars, buses and motorcycles roaring down the street. When she falls asleep, I hold her and try to situate her in her bassinet or pack and play, but more often than not, she awakens and I lull her back to sleep. I enjoy her company and she smiles at me. One day, I strapped her in her stroller and we took the dogs for a walk. Usually, the dogs and I walk after the baby has gone home. Sometimes, the middle school students will be playing soccer and field hockey. Occasionally a man will fly his model plane. The dogs are good company too. When I am reading, Mickey the black and white kitty snuggles into w warm little ball on my lap. Such a friend. On Tuesday, I drive to the farm and ride Hope, the horse. We work together and share apples and carrots. Her neck is warm from the sun as she looks at me with her soft brown eyes. On Wednesday evening, my husband and I drive to my Dad's house to cook dinner and visit. I feel happy when we've had a good visit. My friend called from the traumatic brain injury center where she is in rehab and invited me to lunch this week. I hope the baby and I can go. I am so very grateful for these people and animals in my life. They offer unconditional friendship and loyalty. Though not friends, I enjoy the interesting encounters with the people that come into the shop. We chat while I wrap their flowers. So tired today. I fell right asleep but after one hour woke and couldn't settle. Quite possibly the small chocolate candy I ate, kept me awake. I drove downtown, parked in a parking structure and walked to the jewelry store. I pulled on the door twice before it hit me that the door had to be unlocked from the inside. I am having my rings sized and soddered together so that the stems don't rub together and thin. The jeweler will also check the prongs as years ago, I was sitting in church and realized that the diamond had fallen out of the ring.

Proactivity

I was tired last night but discovered that I couldn't sleep. I had a lot on my mind, but the real reason was that I had chocolate ice cream (theobromine in the chocolate always keeps me awake) and had nibbled way too long into the evening. I was uncomfortable and my thoughts were circling. So much sadness. Mulled over the premature deaths of so many, young and old. A woman in Texas who died from flesh eating bacteria after hurricane Harvey. The 2 year old grand baby of a State Senator who drowned over the weekend. Young woman who died in a car accident. Thought about the dire situation in Puerto Rico and how I can help. I am picking up my baby granddaughter after work and the house is near the apartment complex where my mother in law lived the last few years of her life. So of course, I thought of her. Sad that a young student removed the solar globe from the bottom of our drive. Worried about my elderly frail father who has a bad cold. Woke this morning, ate a healthy bowl of apple oatmeal, refrained from drinking coffee and headed off to work. I chose some flowers for baby to take to my former boss, who has now retired and is babysitting today. Proactivity is the word of the day.

Fearful of the unknown, unfamiliar and change

It has been a year since my mother passed away. Such a sad time last September. We had our family reunion at the State Park up north. All the family was together except for our oldest son. Walks along the beach, golf, miniature golf, grilled burgers and hot dogs over the fire, Mass outside. We were truly blessed. Nine of us together including a 3 month old baby girl. Good memories. Going on vacation is exhausting. Packing, setting up the trailer, gazebo and tent. Covering the tent with plastic to protect everone inside from rain. Unpacking, putting equipment away, cleaning the trailer and laundry. We have a bit of to-do list for the pop-up. I accidently put a three cornered tear in the vinyl so we need to patch it. The seat back rest was stapled and the staples didn't hold. One of the support poles needs to be made shorter. We celebrated my birthday with a pizza party and ice cream sundaes and some prosecco. We hadn't visited with my dad in two weeks because we were on vacation and then he went camping. We made dinner and chatted with him last night. He talked to his brother and sister in Florida and everyone is fine. I wish I wasn't afraid of everything. Where did I get this timidity? It's fear of the unfamiliar and the unknown and change.

Resolving issues

Little baby granddaughter, Autumn, was baptized on Aug 6th. We celebrated at the house after the ceremony. The weather was neither too hot or too cold, so everyone enjoyed the backyard. A compatible group. My niece could not find a place to park near the church so she decided to go to her grandpa's house. Later she brought my dad over to visit for a bit. So nice to see him--he hadn't been to the house in about a year. Last weekend I stayed at my daughter's house while she and her husband flew to California for her friend's wedding. Watched granddaughter Autumn, Lily, the golden retriever puppy and Tiger, the cat. No sooner had we arrived at my daughter's house when Lily, the dog, dismantled the baby gate trying to get upstairs with me. When my daughter and her husband are home, Lily gets a lot of attention, but when it is just me, she doesn't get much. On Saturday evening, after she acted out a few times, Autumn and I took her for a short walk. Changed the tenor of the evening. On Sunday, I invited my son over. We ate together and chatted and I took Lily for a long walk. He drove my daughter and her husband home from the airport. I got home around 2am, slept for a few hours and then got up to get ready for work. I like this quote, it makes sense to me. "If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." I was looking at an email my husband sent me and the quote was at the bottom. I desire and try to attain peaceful living. I have been anxious the last few weeks waiting for issues to resolve. Concern about the weather for the baby's luncheon, wondering if my dad was coming up north and how he would get there, securing care for the animals while we are away, huge responsibility of baby, puppy and cat while my daughter and her husband were away. So anxious that I did not feel well.

Fun with dad, sister, grandbaby and friends!

My sister invited my dad and me for lunch at her home on the lake. I was taking care of my little granddaughter so she came to lunch also. It was a nice day so we took the expressway, rode along the river and then took rural roads to my sister's home. I work up at 5am praying for safety as it is a huge responsibility to take a frail 91 year old man and a newborn on a short road trip. We sat and ate our lunch on the deck and watched the boats and swan family on the lake. My sister showed me pictures of her vacation. My dad had a nice chat with us, got animated when my brother in law came home fromm work. Yesterday, I took my dad on a bank errand and then had dinner with three friends. It was exactly what I needed. Social interaction. We had a good time and shared a few laughs. All is well when I can laugh aloud. My dad has been trying for 18 months to get home health aides. He was not approved before, nurse suggested a housekeeper and cook. But finally he has become frail enough to be approved. His health aides will help him shower and dress in addition to preparing his meals. He hopes to have them drive him around on errands and to doctor appointments. He is looking forward to visiting with his brother and sister next month. They and my brother and sister plan to have lunch together. Dad is going to talk with his brother about pulling the trailer about 250 miles north and camping together. We'll see what my uncle has planned. My friend has been moved to a traumatic brain injury center near my home. She will have music, physical and occupational therapy. So sad about the ride accident at the fair. Praying for the families of all those involved. Such a heart breaking accident. Next month I have to pay a huge medicare premium. Stressful.

Grammie takes care of granddaughter

My daughter returned to work after her maternity leave and I cared for my granddaughter. I have a riding lesson on Tuesday morning, so my son watched the baby. My instructor commented that is alright to do the grandma thing, but not at the expense of all my interests. Her insight reaffirmed my decision to continue with my lessons. And when I came home, my son had fed the baby and was rocking her as she slept. He had a good time bonding with her and is excited about watching her in a week or so. No lesson next week as the horses will be at the 4H fair. My husband anchored the car seat in the back of the car. May still have to adjust the straps and the infant seat position, once the baby is in the seat. My son in law was picking her up from care yesterday and I asked my daughter if he had a reminder to take the baby out of the truck after they arrived home. So easy to become preoccupied and forget that a sleepy baby is in the carseat in the back. Because my friend is either brain-injured or heavily medicated and not in touch with reality, I am more at ease about the infrequency of my visits. She has such a long road to recovery--both thigh bones broken, learning to feed herself, getting off a liquid diet, weaning off painkillers. I miss her so much, my little sister. Glad to have the company of my little granddaughter. My youngest daughter needs to move out of her house. Trying to figure how to get the heavy furniture home. Probably need a truck or trailer and lots of help.

Walking the dogs

Lots of actvities at the school fields near my house. Six children's soccer teams practiced kicking drills. A young man drove his remote control airplane. Children climbed on the playground equipment. Usually the dogs and I walk in early evening when it is cool. The sun shines, the green grass smells sweet, the hum of activity comforts the soul. For a few minuutes, I forget my concerns. I find peace in walking the dogs. Maui, dainty little mini dachsund jogs with her ears flying. Pudge waddles along, sometimes rolling on his back. He stops to sniff and then scampers up to Maui and me. A pleasant hour.

Company

After the last visit with my friend at the rehab center, I had to really psych myself up to go visit her. I considered asking my husband to go with me, but decided it was not a good idea. I drove to the rehab center, signed in and went down the hall to her old room. She had been moved closer to the nurse's station. She said my name and grabbed my hand. I sat and held her hand until I had to leave. She has day and nightmares--thought that all the nurses had died, that she too was going to die, asked if I was her guardian angel. I miss our nightly talks and lunches together. Sad that my connection with her is gone for now. I will start babysitting for my sweet granddaughter on Monday. A blessing to have company.

Sun and fun at the horse show.

Since I worked until 6pm on Saturday, I could not go to church on Sat. The earliest service is at 7am on Sunday. I had to be at the horse show by 8am. I decided to go to church Sunday evening. Didn't enjoy it much as it was folk and loud and the presider talks very quickly and runs his sentences together. But at least I made it to church. I arrived at the farm a little after 8am. My first test was at 9am. The judge was more critical than last year's. I veered to the right trotting in, didn't have enough bend, my body alignment was off, the circles were too small and the horse needed to be more forward. I didn't place on this test..score of 98 out of 160. My teacher told me that I made a few glitches and to clean it up for the 2nd test. I was not going to read the comments, but one of the other riders told me that if was possible to do beter after learning what to work on. The horse ignored me while I was practicing. Scared that she wouldn't stop. Walked her in tight circles until she behaved per my instructor. The test was going along, when toward the end, I cued Hope and she veered away from the circle. I didn't understand what happened, still don't, but trotted her around and up the center with a nice halt. I did a nice recovery and placed 6th and we got a ribbon. We had energy, good halts, are a compatable team, need to work on consistency. I enjoyed watching the other riders til I found out from a work colleague that I had written the wrong date on an order. I feel terrible that we missed the delivery. I am triple checking all the information, dates, spelling, product, card message. However, I can still have difficulty with customer's perceived value of product and their vision.

Horse show Sunday

I drove out to the farm after work to ride one last time before the show on Sunday. If practice goes late enough on Saturday, I might ride then also. Horses are unpredictable. After a test last year, the rider mentioned that Hope "was forward." However on my test, the judge said to "encourage Hope before she runs out of steam." Hope doesn't like to stand still. And the smallest tug on the bridle caused her to move backward. I tend to lean back and pull during a transition and need to stay straight and pull and release. The 20 meter circles need to be round and the correct size. I need to stay on the right diagonal during the rising trot...rising when Hope's front leg is front. I woke during a thunderstorm last night, thinking about the show. I wonder why I stress myself with competition. Deep breaths.

4th of July takes an unexpected turn

New tablets take some getting used to. I spent a couple hours trying to get onto my blog. Finally merged two accounts and was able to post. It would have made me very sad, if after six years, I had to begin a new blog site. Just too many changes...loss of my friend, computer, blog. The 4th of July took an unexpected turn. I drove to the farm to ride as I am showing the school horse, Hope, on Sunday. My teacher criticized me for pulling on Hope when I was working on walk to trot transitions. Spoke up and told her that I had released the bridle, but as she had not seen that, she told me she saw me pull. Just kept my mouth after that when she criticized a turn. She was focused on other riders on Tuesday, moving them along, working on different gaits. The terrible part came when I discovered that my keys were in my purse in the car and that the car was locked. Phone, credit card for a uber, all locked in my car. I tried calling my husband to bring the spare set, but he was outside washing the car. My son did not recognize the number from the borrowed phone, so did not pick up. I could not remember all of my daughter's cell phone number. I didn't know what to do, but figured I could walk from the farm to the house. I thought it was 12 miles but discovered later that it is 16. Locking my keys in my car was my fault as was being unprepared. It was a hot thirsty walk home. I did stop at the grocery store and the health club and a restaurant to get water. My feet hurt, my neck and forearms burned. My hands felt numb from hanging down. People were busy going about their business, hurry scurrying here and there. I had no ID on me, so was glad I didn't get hurt. The moral of this story is to take keys and cell out of the car, to have a long sleeved shirt in the car as well as water. I am fine, trying to rehydrate, back of neck is healing from the burn as are the balls of my feet. I practice again today and the thought of going to the farm gives me the willies. I have been so preoccupied lately. I hope I can stay focused so as to not do stupid things. I get my independence honestly, from my father. However, I believe that independence and loneliness are sisters in my life.

Bought new tablet

As you know, the keyboard on my tablet did not work, either because the connection was broken, the tablet did not recognize it. I blogged a few times using the virtual keyboard, a lesson in frustration. The other day, the tablet fell, damaging the charging port. It was impossible to charge it. So last night, I bought a new tablet, the same one that I had before. I am so happy to have a keyboard again. So difficult to use a touchscreen properly. I much prefer the accuracy of a cursor. My friend was transferred from the hospital to a rehab center. I visited her on Monday. Something is going on with her processing. For instance I asked her for a phone # and she spelled her name. Hopefully she will make a complete recovery. She has been lying in bed for a month, so cannot sit up. She is eating pureed foods and has to be fed. I miss our nightly chats. We had planned to go out for lunch last Wednesday. My little granddaughter, 4 weeks old, has a cold. My daughter and her husband have been married one week as of yeserday. The large mandevilla plant in the front of the house has two pink blooms. The cyclamen in the back is in continual bloom with red flowers. Waiting for the Easter lily in the garden to open. I walked the dogs in the rain yesterday. The grass, flowers and trees sighed in relief from the hot dry weather. It was a gentle rain, soaking the parched earth. My dad's 91st birthday is Monday. We are planning a cookout to celebrate.

Friend in serious car accident

My friend was involved in a serious car accident. Almost three weeks ago, she was riding in a cab that rear ended a stopped flatbed truck. I didn't find out for almost 11 days. Her cousin tried to call me, but I didn't recognize the number, so didn't answer. I called the hospital today and her cousin answered the phone. My friend has had three surgeries. She has two broken femurs and needed a skin graft. She has lacerations. At the present time, my friend is non verbal. I'm praying for her, for healing of her injuries, that she will walk again, and that she will be able to talk. I miss my friend.

Expected behavior

I am a grandmother! Our granddaughter was born on Sunday. My husband, son and I drove to the hospital to visit with our daughter, her husband and to hold the new baby. It was the right thing to do. I've come to realize that certain behavior is expected during a special time such as an engagement, wedding, pregnancy or birth. I expected congratulations and best wishes from a couple people that to date have remained silent. I don't know why but to feel better, I pretend. "We're happy for you. Congratulations.". Working about 15 days straight at the flower shop. Lots of associates are out.

Restless and searching for something

My Dad decided that he wanted to know when his mother's family came to the New World. I spent the last couple days researching his Mother's family and typing a document. My grandparents spent years traveling around the country after they retired. They visited cemeteries, courthouses and libraries to complete family trees. Grandma published a book about her father's family. So it was quite easy for me to sift through the information. My grandmother's family has been in the US since 1635, and my great grandmother's people came on the Mayflower. My father's ancestor's came from England and Sweden in the 1800s as did my mother's. So no tracing my mother's and dad's folks to Plymouth Rock! My dad was pleased. I Included place of birth and death as well as burial info. Made a typo on my grandma's date of birth! The 2 and 3 keys are next to each other. Dreaming last night that I visited the school where I taught and was trying to find the exit. Went through a department store and a dental office. Waiting patiently for the arrival of our first baby granddaughter. She is due any moment. The search is not for something tangible but rather for inner calm, peace, and good rapport with and acceptance of others. That is the treasure I am seeking.

Tough tough week

I couldn't write much last month, because only the virtual keyboard on the tablet is working. I find virtual keyboards difficult and time consuming to use as a blogger. Today, though, I need to write, need to organize my thoughts. Tough, tough week. The evil one, who I won't name, was hard at work. I probably should have closed my mouth and not let my opinion been known, as it opened up biting comments about scheduling family events on my husband's day off and extreme irritation that I use all the plastic bags on the dog walks. I work in retail and I'm wondering how much verbal abuse should I have to take? The order is for today, but, when the customer called two days ago, said it was all wrong, had spent 20 minutes on the phone, how could I work in this business, I would not make it in the big city, would be terribly upset if clients were disappointed. This person threatened to post negative comments, to take orders to another business. The verbal abuse went on for 10 or 15 minutes, until I gave the owners' names and contact info. I had inputted lots of information, took the initiative to find out the name of the recipient and delivery details, sent the customer a copy of the orders. I knew intuitively from the get-go, that this customer would be difficult and at some point was going to yell and berate me. In the future, when I sense that there will be a situation, I refuse to deal and will let someone else handle the calls. I console myself with knowing that I helped 60 or so customers in the last few days and all thanked me for my time and help, and were happy with their gifts. Also, my friend at church told me, "It is over and done."

Keyboard is recognized at times

I saw on Facebook that a local Scout troop celebrated 100 years. My husband thought he might have been a member back in the day. He found his scout memorabilia and discovered that he had been a member of a different troop. He washed and ironed his neckerchiefs and organized the photos. Was thrilled to discover his copies of the 1968 Tiger World Series tickets in with the souvenirs. He took them to work to show his friends. Still not sure if the problem is with the tablet or keyboard​ because sometimes the keyboard works fine. It makes blogging slow and tedious. My friend and I are going to lunch and the store on Wednesday. Her constant complaints and name-calling of the house Manager are tiring. I need to tell her that I don't want to talk about him all the time. I know her feelings toward him. She has hearing loss and should be checked for hearing aids. The aids need to be used friendly and not too expensive. Hope her case worker can place her in a different group home.

Haunting photos

Still working on the external keyboard problem. I have to discover if the problem is with then keyboard or tablet. I was reading Facebook news when I came across a post of the young Brazilian woman who was murdered by six thugs. To be honest, I couldn't bear to look too closely at her thin bloodied body. Is she not one of God's children? Are not all the transgenders who lost their lives children of God? Who are these murderers to judge a life to be worthless? I hope the authorities apprehend the perpetrators and they pay for their crimes. I now realize how many transgenders have been murdered in the past 28 years and sadly, the number is increasing. Flagrant disrespect for life. Dandara and Chyna. Eternal rest grant into them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them. Rest in peace.

External keyboard not working

My android tablet is not recognizing my external keyboard making writing difficult. Every so often it works but most of the time, I use the cyber keyboard. I drove to the farm for a riding lesson on Wednesday. I tried to move Hope into the corners by using my legs. I practiced the test for the horse show. I will repeat last year's test and continue to learn to canter. I have yet to canter by myself. Riding and walking the dogs relaxes me. On WEdnesday, we walked through the woods into the subdivision and home. Tonight we are celebrating our two youngest daughter's birthdays at a restaurant. The store is quiet but I haveexpected it after Valentine's Day. The weather here is unseasonably warm. I remember when I skated until April on the rink my Dad made in the backyard. I am happy with the cold as long as the sun is shining. Gray gloomy days pull my mood down. My friend and I plan to celebrate her birthday on Tuesday. We will eat out and go to the grocery store. Her living situation is still bad. She needs another placement but her case worker is not willing to move her.

Discouraged, sad friend

I'm concerned about my friend who is living in the group home. She seems to be a "throw away" person because of her mental health issues. She needs a supportive environment where she has three meals available, dental and health appointments, encouragement to take classes at the community college and fellowship. She has been living in this home where the manager rarely interacts with her, never takes her to dental and health appointments, does not provide a lunch. She had been emotionally stable for the last 10 years. About a year ago, her case worker moved her out of the group home into a 24K. She did not live successfully in the 24K, was asked to leave. Now she is miserable and says no one cares. She needs a family, people who support, encourage and help her. So sad that her cousins won't let her live with them. However, I don't know if she can get out of the system after being in it for years. On a happy note, she and I are celebrating her birthday at a restaurant and going to the grocery store in a couple weeks.

The Final Toll

Rescuers saved nine people, four of them children, three puppies and recovered 29 bodies from Hotel Rigopiano. With the two people outside of the hotel, the ones who sounded the alarm, 11 people survived the powerful avalanche. Joy for some families, a deep sadness for others. John Donne wrote "Every man's death diminishes me because I am involved in Mankind." So I pray for the families and friends of those who died. These days there is so much to pray for on every level. In my own family, my daughter is applying for grad school, another is having a baby and my eldest is getting married. I pray for safety for my oldest son, and for rest for my youngest. I lift up my friend so that she will find a home where people care about her. Along with the prayer, I need to take action, to advocate for what's right.

Miracle at Hotel Rigopiano

Rescuers skiied through the night to help those buried by the avalanche at hotel Rigopiano. To date, they have rescued 9, recovered 11 bodies and 3 puppies. 2 were outside at the time of the avalanche and able to send an alarm. Pictures of the painstaking work are remarkable. 15 tunnels, reinforced with beams, holes dug through concrete. These men and women are truly miracle workers. Thank you so much for your expertise, persistence, self sacrifice. My deepest condolences to the families and friends of those lost in this tragedy. It is hard to make sense of this occurence. Other Italians have died in the earthquakes and many still do not have power. Hard to determine what is going on here. The global gap on abortion, the reinstating of the Dakota and other pipeline. Seems he can find no good in the previous administrations accomplishments. I don't believe this was the intent of the forefathers. What about kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy, sharing...

Earthquakes in central Italy, collapse of Rigopiano Hotel

A chef at the Rigopiano hotel in central Italy brought his family to the inn to enjoy a holiday. And then the unthinkable happens. He went outside to get medicine from his car when an avalanche caused by several earthquakes covered and destroyed the hotel. His wife, son and daughter are trapped inside. Rescuers are hampered by the deep snow and have to ski to the site. Trying to remain positive, but it has almost been a full day. Praying for a miracle, for many helping hands. My heart is sad.

Rest in Peace, Rosa dog 2003-2017

I was getting ready for work on Friday when I received a call from my dad. His 14 year old dog was dying and making strange noises and he needed help getting her to the clinic. Together we were able to get Rosa on a sheet and into the car. The vet euthanized her--such a sad day. I drove to work but my emotional balance was off. Got to work late and received a call from the company president about an order that only I knew about. Still don't know what the issue was. I was preparing the order even as he called. He was upset that he sent an email to the customer. All was well when she came in to pick up the order. I am working at the branch store tomorrow. The branch store manager is attending a funeral for her aunt. Finishing up my yearly appointments. Two down--two to go. Dentist and physical done--eye exam and cancer screening to go. Going out with my friend on Tuesday. Got a small pay check and told her so when she listed family size chips, 1 liter pop, flavored water and two puzzle books. Don't have the inclination to spend money when my check was 14 hours short because of the holidays. She has a gift card which will help a little, but I will still have to pay for lunch and part of the shopping.

Infant Positional Aphyxiation

Because of my great nephew's tragic death, I am nervous. I worry when my college age daughter drives back and forth from our house to school I think about my son who works lots of hours and how tired he is. I am concerned that my family designate a driver when they are away and partying. Today I read an article on facebook about parents who lost their 4 month old son. They dropped the baby at the daycare and the person set the baby in a carseat. The baby died because he could not breathe. Perhaps his little chin rested on his chest. It's scary isn't it? So many ways infants, children, adults can lose their life. I researched infant positional aphyxiation. It is safe for a baby to sleep in a carseat in the car if buckled properly because the angle of the seat prevents positional aphyxiation. But an infant in a bouncer, swing, carseat not in a car runs the risk of aphyxiation. The safest place for a baby to sleep is in a properly fitted crib with a firm mattress. Little Nancy who had a string on a coat hood. The tie got caught between two pieces of a slide at the school and she aphxiated. Children who toddle off quick as a lightning and fall and drown in a pool. Precaution, prevention, education--so important to safeguard our infants, children and young people. I am so sad for this family but thank them for sharing as we will have an infant in our family in June.

A June Wedding

Our oldest daughter is engaged, hoping to marry in June. She is planning a wedding and reception here so that my father can attend and then another wedding and reception in her fiance's home state. She would like an inside/outside venue, perhaps a tent. She would like Italian cuisine served family style. Her two sisters and best friend would be attendants. As you know, my healthy life style fell by the wayside. So I am hoping that this wedding will be motivation to slim down 25 pounds. Our first grandchild, a girl is due June 1st. I had no preference for a boy or girl--praying or a healthy, happy, baby. Some people don't understand that one does not get over the loss of a mother in 4 months. Comment, "that was months ago." Really. Did they get over the loss of a parent that quickly? And differences in tastes and perceptions about something being pretty. And I don't find slave comments humorous, even if they were said in jest. Not knowing if boarish behavior is the result of aging or deliberate. I find comments about the mundaneness of facebook entries to be spot-on. It seems these days that acts of kindness are a way to get a picture and comments on facebook. I disagree in making all good works public, so that people can sing praises. I like to do kind things quietly, anonymously, with no notice.