Praying for wisdom

Thank you for taking the time to read these entries. This diary is a way for me to work through things. I pray for wisdom for my family as my mother continues to sleep a lot and lose cognition. I went over yesterday and spoke to mother. Her hairdresser had come and her hair looked beautiful. Mother told me, "I did my hair myself. I should do it more often." I picked up her hand to check the length of her nails, and she said, "Please don't hurt me." I never do sugar level checks, but my dad does and she was afraid of a needle. Sad. I served up some corn and black bean salsa and she enjoyed two bowlfuls. We changed her for bed and then rolled her into the bedroom and she was able to stand for a second and sit on the bed. Earlier in the morning, her legs collapsed and she sat on the floor. My son and a friend went to the house and used the hoyer to get her in her chair. I pray for wisdom. My dad wants to take her by ambulance to the hospital for an evaluation. I really don't want her to be poked and prodded, but if the evaluation is non intrusive and determines that palliative care is necessary, then for my dad's sake I will go along with it. It will be painful and stressful for my mother. She hates pokes and the pain of the blood pressure cuff. I really don't see how going to the hospital will lengthen her life. I propose either palliative care at home with a nurse and other caregivers or care at the hospice center here in the city. Got upset with my dad because he said, "I can't take care of her any more. Going on vacation was great." Yes, my dad needs help, I'll see that he gets it, but he can't give up the race (care) at the home stretch (going to Heaven). I have to realize, however, that the pent up frustration, I heard, was anger at my mother's condition, because I have never seen a more committed, dedicated caregiver than my dad. He alone has kept her going for the past 5 or so years.