I'm a trainwreck

Yesterday morning the sun shone. I grabbed a hand towel(cause I was sad) and headed out to talk to someone about my issues. I realized as I got to the meeting place and greeted and chatted with people there, that part of my problem is being alone, not surrounding myself with other people. I work 4 days alone at the flower shop and spend one day off alone. My husband removes his "ears" when he is home and wears a headset, so it is very difficult to communicate with him. Though I was crying on the way, I did not cry while I was talking. He did give me a very real way to deal with my worries and concerns. As far as the other one, I need to let it go. Remember, mulling about it "serves no useful purpose." I already tried the solution and hope it provides a lifeline. He also said that he just lost his brother-in-law and was feeling extremely tired. And certaily the physical aspect is contributing--the jangling nerves, the dull headache. I am so looking forward to roasting a turkey and all the trimmings on Thursday. And if I feel closed in, I can take the dogs for a walk. We crackle through the leaves, sometimes going up and down small hills in the woods. I like the woods when visibility is high, the leaves crunch or the snow falls gently. And I do like laughing and playing games with my husband and children--rummy cube or some other game. So this Thanksgiving will be exactly what I need, so very different from our usual reunion with my husband's family. It is close to the angel-versary of the little 5 year old boy who lost his battle with DIPG. In his honor, I am going to do at least 5 acts of kindness. The holiday preview sale is this Saturday. Folks can buy gifts, enjoy treats and enter for doorprizes. Maui and Pudge in the tub after greeting a black and white striped "kitty."