I keep reminding myself

I keep reminding myself that it's no fun to be the newbie on the block. However, I can only stand so much "shadowing" at work, before I start feeling the constraint. Then I rush to the store to buy fruit for fruit baskets, and $33 worth of chocolate for my son, to help us get through the day. I discover in the process that my debit card is AWOL, that I had given it to my daughters to buy snacks for the softball team and that it is in a jeans pocket somewhere. When my boss reprimands me and tells me that "filling the cooler is part of the process," I make an excuse, a truthful one, that the new one was giving out a free rose. I remember my first days, how I bothered everyone, how ignorant I was, how afraid of people I appeared, and I try to have mercy, but it is difficult.