Struggles

I have been struggling the last few weeks.  The struggles began when I asked my husband if we could replace the carpet.  It is 33 years old and has barely survived the kittens/puppies, geriatric cats/dogs that we've housed through the years.  All I wanted was new carpet.  However my husband said that if we replaced the carpet, we needed to replace some molding the animals scratched and paint the interior of the house. And if we painted the walls and trims, everyting had to be taken downstairs.  Of course we got more than we bargained for.  The painter suggested sealing any spots where the animals had accidents.  When we built the house we laid plywood and then nailed fiberboard over te plywood in the living room and dining room..  Moisture destroys fiberboard, so now we need to replace pieces of subfloor in the living room and dining room.  Hopefully, the subfloor work can be finished Monday and the carpet installed on Friday.  The carpet is down in the bedrooms.   I feel that I have dealt well with all this.  I concentrated on decorating the bushes and porch with lights, wrote Christmas cards, wrapped gifts.  Opening gifts on a fiberboard floor and enjoying the tree for 2 days before Christmas is only a minor inconvenience.  The struggle is with the naysaying of my husband.  I feel that no matter what I say my husband says no.  "No, we can't move the chair in preparation for the carpet people because we need it for Christmas.  No, we can't put down carpet remnants because the pieces might be slated for use. No, you can't buy a little runaway trailer, because we don't need two trailers and there is no storage space.  I can't think of any other examples because rather than dwell on them, I try to forget.  In his defense I feel that his heart medication has changed his personality making him more confrontational and impairing his memory.  We went on a date to a model train exhibit and out to dinner.  As long as I agree with everything he says and listen to his every word he thrives.

Anniversary

Early morning Saturday marks the 1st anniversary of my father.'s death. A very long year.  Bank accounts have been closed, bills have been paid, the house was sold, monies dispersed, probate closed.  I remember how very sick my father was, and how we prayed that he would be free to join his beautiful bride in Heaven.  So tomorrow, I will celebrate my Dad's life.

"It's lonely!'

Yesterday the owner of the flower shop came to the branch store.  He talked about the days when he had to work here because the other sales associate had broken a bone in her hand. He said that he gave both of us credit, being here all by ourselves, having no one to talk to.  He said he was ready to scream. He told me it was lonely!  I feel the loneliness too.  And it is compounded by the fact that my husband wears earphones so that he can hear the tv.  When he has his ears on, he can't hear me.  It is impossible to carry on a conversation.  So it's lonely at home too.

A Dog Guest

We are dogsitting for my sister's golden retriever.  Addie is 10 years old, the same age as Maui, our mini dachsund and Pudge the puggle.  Perhaps they met once years ago, but yesterday was the first time they had seen each other in a long while and Addie  has never stayed at our house.  She was whining when her family left her.  Calmed down after a half hour or so.  We have AJ a huge tabby and Mickey a skinny little cat that adopted us a few years ago.  He is young and an instigator. He decided to hop onto the table and stick his claws in Addie. This morning I heard Addie bark at Mickey.  I'm not sure what happened, but I put Mickey outside. When I get home I will take Pudge and Addie for a walk. 

Yoga

Although my blood pressure is under control with medication, I feel that I am not centered. I had a hard night the evening of my birthday.  I missed my dad--it was my first birthday without him.  I also feel that I need to get away and regroup.  I am hoping to have a couple days by myself in October and November when my daughter goes on maternity leave and is home with her babies.  In the meantime, I signed up for a yoga class.  It begins tomorrow.  I bought a new yoga mat and brick and some yoga pants. I haven't attended a yoga class in years.  I tried to find one more suitable for my age, but had a conflict.  So I enrolled with people 16 years old and older.  I feel in balance with work, babysitting my granddaughter, riding, training my mini horse, walking my two dogs, reading and yoga.  I fit household chores in between.

Tiny houses

Back in 2012, mother and dad, their dog Rosa, my brother and I went camping at a State Park.   I drove the van and pulled the popup.  My brother, who owns a popup, had it set up in 10 minutes.  I set it up as a tiny house--the dinette table up, windows open, sheets on the bed. The pantry of food was in the back of the van.  This trip became important because it started my fascination with tiny homes.  I was content in my neat little house!  I am interested to see how this fascination develops.  I have been researching small trailers--Runaways, Hikers, Little Guys, Sunrays and others. The idea was to purchase one and use it for my solo camping.  Not going to happen because my husband feels that there is no place to store it.

Bad Idea

Well I had one of those ideas that came back to bite me.  The pharmacy near my house is situated in a mall that has a terribly busy parking lot. So I thought to myself, why not call it in to the pharmacy by the flower shop.  Terrible idea.  First, the flower shop opens at 9 am; the pharmacy at 10 am.  And both close at 6. So I taped a sign on the door and  ran down the hill but the prescription wasn't ready.  I thought I had noted when the pharmacy was closed for lunch, but got there and discovered that it was closed.  And when I tried to unlock the flower shop door realized that I didn't have the keys; they were sitting on the desk as was my cell phone.  I headed to the muffler shop where my friend let me use her phone to call our delivery manager.  He had to drive across town in college football traffic.  First football game of the season.  While I was waiting, I tried again, but the prescription was still not ready. I discovered that the pharmacy was slammed because of a buy out of another area pharmacy!  Bad bad idea.