A member of a U, not a circle

 I read an article today, which corresponds to my thinking of late.  I work with a woman who forever talks about herself as a victim.  I am absolutely not going to be like her.  I recognize that my situation in life is my own doing.  Consequently I can change my life circumstances and this brings me joy and hope. Now a circle of friends, because it is closed, excludes people. A horseshoe, and I so enjoy working with horses, or the letter U is open-ending, in process, growing... Everyone is welcome, differences are appreciated.  Difference is the spice of life.

Quality, not quantity

I  feel relief when a stressful situation is resolved.  I sing the old Easter song, "The strife is o'er, the battle done."  When my Dad's life consisted of constant visits to the hospital for infusions, blood counts, lung aspirations, he told me, "It's about the quality of life, not the quantity."  So many young mothers have died recently.  A young mother with three children the youngest only a few months old.  Another mother with a 5 year old son passed of breast cancer.  A customer came to the store yesterday to purchase funeral flowers for his 42 year old wife.  These families are grieving, trying to adjust to a life without their loved one.  Two friends that I work with are going through  traumatic times.  One friend has a toddler niece with DIPG.  The other is dealing with her husband's pancreatic cancer.  A time to be born, a time to die.  Some at 2 years of age, others at 42, my father at 92.  Should I die tomorrow, I have no regrets.  Celebrate my life.

Mother's advice

In my growing up years, I longed to have friends.  I envied fictional character Nancy Drew's friendship with Bess and George and Trixie Belden's close relationship with her adopted brother Jim and her friend Honey.  I was awkward and introverted and never knew the proper thing to say. I lived outside the city.  Today I eat dinner with two friends every Wednesday. My husband and I visited a store yesterday and enjoyed ourselves.  He has a hearing impairment so conversing is difficult.  I am making more effort to nurture friendships.  I reach out with text messages.  I discovered that I can gather more information if I listen to someone, even though I know what they are going to tell me.  I compliment people so that they feel special.  The challenge is that  I work alone at a store so I am by myself.  When I go out for a walk, I am by myself with two dog companions.  I realized today that when I have the opportunity to reach out that I am following my mother's advice from long ago. "In order to have friends, you have to be a friend."

Good bye sweet friend

Theresa and I went to school together although she was a few years older.  We sang in folk group and I celebrated with her on the happy day that she married.  She and I had baby daughters the same year. And our daughters became best friends.  Perhaps two years ago, I ran into Theresa's sister and she told me that Theresa had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's probably caused by a head injuy she had sustained in the past.  In January, I discovered that Theresa's husband and primary caregiver had died of a heart attack.  And a couple months ago I saw a photo of Theresa and her children.  The photo of Theresa with her eyes shut and a napkin tucked into her blouse made me cry. And a few weeks ago, Theresa was admitted into hospice care.  I sent her a big blue teddy.  I doubt it made a difference to her, but it made me feel better.  Last Sunday Theresa passed away.  I will miss her.


Rest in peace my dear dear friend.  1949-2019

Training

I practiced with Dory the mini horse today. We trotted in, slowed and then halted, attempting to square Dory's feet.  We asked a "judge" to walk around Dory to get her accustomed to that and for me to know when to move to the other side--when the judge is by her tail.  Dory did a fine job of jumping a hurdle.  It was hunter jumper class so we didn't want to get in the way.  We might try barrel racing.  I have a strategy.  Have Dory between the barrel and me on the first barrel so that she will be on the outside on the other two barrels.  Then bring her home.  No idea what kind of obstacles will be in the trail class.  Dory cooperated beautifully today and enjoyed a walk around the farm.  Photos;  Dory and my stand in barrel partners Pudge and Maui

Mini Horse Show

Showtime!  The Tri County Horse Association show is this Sunday May 5th.  I will be showing the mini horse that I have been leasing Dory.  It is her first show.  She should be fine in halter class because her paddock mate Deacon will be there.  We have been practicing transitions--trotting, walking, halting.  We don't know ahead what the obstacle course will be like.  So we don't waste the judge's time, I have a "3 strikes and you're out" rule.  Dress code is western--jeans, western shirt, belt with buckle, hat or helmet, paddock boots.  I drove to the store to buy a buckle, but the store did not have one. No worries--they did have a belt and buckle combo in my size.  The extra bonus was that when I checked out the belt was on clearance!  Photo of Dory and Deacon.

Where we are now, a house update

As you know, my dad passed away the day after Thanksgiving, November 23, 2018. He was 92 years old, smart as a tack, but he missed my mother, his wife of 69 years, his high school sweetheart, and his body was giving out. As he told my mother during one of her hospital stays, "It's like a car. The parts wear out!" We decorated my Dad's house for Christmas, putting up his small silver Christmas tree, hung some presents on the front door, set up 4 or 5 Nativity sets and after our individual family Christmases, we gathered at my Dad's house for dinner and Christmas preents, 30 of us. On a later date, my sister and I wrapped china, knic knacs, glasses, everyday dishes and boxed them for donation to Purple Heart. Towels and sheets got folded and put in garbage bags. We brought up old clothes that had been stored in garment bags. Had to sort through them because my Dad's basement is damp and some of the clothes were ruined by mildew. I carried boxes of photos up from downstairs and gifts of wine glasses, and a punch bowl and a complete set of Renaissance Green dishes by J & G Meiken of England. My brother cleaned and cleaned Dad's workroom. He did a fantastic job and the room sparkles in the sun. Or at least it will once the casement window is washed this weekend. So we had 4 upholstered chairs, a double dresser, a chest of drawers, a lift chair and 4 sets of mattresses and box springs. What to do? Fill the landfill? Fortunately, I posted on Craigslist and found a home for every item. And truly, without the help of these pickers, I couldn't have managed to carry the things out of the house. I feel close to my Grandparents and my parents when I handle items they used--my maternal grandmother's cookbook, photo albums that my paternal grandmother made or paint by number pictures she created. I shredded receipts and remember my mother as an astute shopper. And of course, I see my Dad everywhere. After all he built the house where he lived for 56 years. I see his projects. He replaced a toilet upstairs so made a new bathroom downstairs. We still have a to-do list. Clean out the ashes in the wood fireplace, hide the cleaning supplies in the garage, take some photos home, take care of some brush in the side yard, clean the new basement bathroom, make the windows sparkle like new. On Monday, the photographer is coming. We will list with a realtor next weekend. Memories have been made of family dinners at birthdays and holidays, of laughter and fun. And my dream is that a family will buy this house and continue of eat and laugh together.