Empty Nest

Our youngest daughter interviewed with a company in Chicago and was offered a job. Her start date was May 21. A week ago she and I drove to Chicago to find an apartment. We were lucky--a young woman had signed a lease and paid the first month rent. Sadly she lost her job and the apartment went back on the market. I happened to see it, and my daughter was able to fill out an application. Her file was completed the next day and she was approved. I had to hurry-scurry to pack her things in boxes and label them. My husband rented a trailer. My son helped load the trailer and we headed off to Chicago on Saturday. The trailer was extremely heavy and we had to drive slowly, arriving in Chicago about 7pm. We parked in a tow zone with the hazards on and with the help of my oldest son and his partner were able to unload quickly so that we could move the car and trailer. Spent the time until the wee hours of the morning assembling furniture. My husband and I grabbed a couple hours sleep. leaving Chicago at 4am so that I could be at work at 11am. I have been slowly sifting through items, trying to figure out the best way to sell them. Now it's my husband, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 4 fish and me at the house.

Geriatric wellness exam

I went for my annual "geriatric" wellness exam on Tuesday. Because I'm now old enough for medicare, I have old people exams. I planned to tough out the painful esophagus, but my physician's assistant convinced me to take the acid reducer, rantidine. I agreed to take it until May 7. The esophagitis is healing and less painful. I do need to watch my diet and exercise because the ac1 test shows pre-diabetes (low end). I'm on a roll..eye exam next week, mammo in May, colon screening in the fall. I'm hoping that if I'm clear of polyps, the screening can be every 10 years. Fingers crossed. In addition to taking physical inventory, I am trying to ask myself, with regard to my contribution to conversations, I ask myself, "Is it kind?" and "Is it helpful?" If a comment does not meet these criteria, then I am not going to speak. I do not want to offend family or coworkers. Very sad about my relationship with my long-term friend, because I am not comfortable visiting the center where she lives or even visiting with her. During the last visit, I became tense. Maybe I can get her some gel pens and some fill-in books and drop them off with a card.

Need to remain strong

Last week, I woke up with severe esophageal pain. It lasted several days, was painful enough that I searched the web to find remedies for immediate relief. I know the long term remedy--lose weight so that stomach fat does not press on the lower esophageal sphincter, causing acid to rise up the esophagus. I had many symptoms of acid reflux, hoarseness, chronic cough, radiating pain in my chest and upper back. I am on a mission to lose weight, 30 pounds. Even 5 to 10 pounds will help relieve the pressure on the LES. It's a scary thought that stomach acid can change the lining of the lower esopagus, Barrett's syndrome, a precancerous condition that can develop into esophageal cancer. I visited the doctor twenty or so years ago because I was concerned about hoarseness in my voice. He diagnosed acid reflux and for several weeks I took an acid reducer. In the last few months, I've noticed that I've had frequent and painful heartburn. I felt a bit better and regressed with my diet, eating cookies with chocolate middle, popcorn and doritos. Because I know, that the pain could return any moment and that I need a long term solution, not antacid or PPI, I need to remain strong. Wishing all women a happy International Women's Day!

A Place for Everything and Everything In Its Place

Two weeks ago my husband suggested that I try to sell a health rider and bowflex online. I posted photos but to date have had no luck. I posted photos of a white three drawer dresser, a kicking/punching bag, flute, lime green dress, two exercise balls and a chinchilla cage. Someone bought the dresser and the kicking/punching bag. I prefer to sell these items to someone who can use them rather then have them sit unused downstairs. About 23 years ago, I started practicing voluntary simplicity. I believe neatness and order help keep my seasonal affective disorder in check. The less things I have, the more time I have to make memories. My daughter and her husband closed on their house today. I'm hoping that we can move her twin bed and two dressers that a friend gave her for her birthday. She also has a microwave and some other wedding gifts that can be moved to her house. And our youngest daughter will be moving furnishings into her own home soon. So couches, chairs and lamps that are in the garage, and kitchen and bathroom supplies that are in the basement will be used in her apartment. I dream of one of those little houses on wheels. They are so clever, "a place for everything and everything in its place."

Mood lifted

Ever since Saturday, when I felt like I could bite someone (altho there are a couple people I could bite right now), I have been holding my own against seasonal affective disorder. I walked the dogs a couple times in the natural light and on Monday, my mood lightened. I might have to exercise also to increase the seratonin level. Last night we went to a restaurant to celebrate two daughters' birthdays. Our oldest daughter's birthday is early in February but she lives out of state. My dad came with us, enjoyed the meal and the company, but the heavy meal aggravated his stomach and he is resting because he does not feel well. Our youngest daughter has 8 weeks of grad school before graduation. Hoping and praying she can find a good paying job that she will like, not too far away. It will be good for her to be distant from people who undermine her self confidence, question her decisions and criticize. Her fragile psyche does not need this kind of behavior. No one, including me, benefits from criticism. Our youngest married daughter has bought a house, and moving day will be early next month. Hard to move with work and a baby.

Need the sun

My seasonal affective disorder hit me hard today, probably because I haven't seen the sunshine in a few days. My mood caught me by surprise and since I was at work, there was nothing I could do. I couldn't eat at lunchtime because there was no one to take care of the customers. I found out that I won't be working with my friend on Monday. It's better for her, but I will miss her. And I am afraid the colleague I'm working with will be domineering. I will see. So much to do at work that I couldn't finish it all. Three colleagues did not work the past 2 days, so lots of work did not get done. As a way to cope with my SAD, I needed to get outside and walk the dogs, headed out onto the icy sidewalk. I retraced my steps several times when I dropped a mitten or a dog bag. Our puggle who has been dealing with irritable bowel syndrome seemed better tonight. A blessing. The walk helped, cooking shrimp alfredo distracted me. Checked the forecast and sun is forecast for tomorrow, Friday, next Sunday and Monday.

Mind a-whirling

My dog woke me up from a nightmare about David and Louise Turpin--the sick, sick parents who abused their children. I can't make sense of it. Children are innocent and vulnerable, need to be protected and nurtured. I was glad it was a dream but once I was awake, I was awake all night, my mind whirling and whirling. My children had taken Pudgie the dog to the emergency clinic on Saturday. I thought he might have an intestinal blockage. He did not, but the doctor noticed some thickening in the colon wall. Took some xrays and our clinic did an ultrasound, but the photos were inconclusive. I decided to visit a holistic vet who has treated our cats and guinea pig. He said that colon cancer in dogs is rare, suggested that Pudge had irritable bowel symdrome. He wants Pudge to lose some weight and take magnesium and colon treatment. He would have liked Pudge to eat high fiber Royal Canin, but Pudge does not like dry food. I have managed to take the dogs for walks around the school. Really enjoy the company of my 8 month old granddaughter. She can raise her arms above her head and clap her hands. I enjoy time spent with the baby, dogs and my dad. I feel the loss of my mother, my great nephew, my friend who was brain injured in the car accident. My husband suggested that we sell exercise equipment--the bo flex and health rider. Once my daughter decides which pieces of furniture she wants for her apartment, I want to have a sale. Working on a strategy to make it successful. Lent begins on Wednesday. I am going to work on Pope Francis' idea to fast from hurting words, sadness, anger, pessismism, worries, complaints, pressures, bitterness, selfishness, grudges and words.