In Cold Blood

It's hard to comprehend how so much hate could build up in a 21 year old mind that he would shoot and kill nine people at a church Bible Study. I look at his picture and see a slight, sandy haired boy staring into the camera lens or in some of the pictures showing his tongue between his teeth. And I'm sad. Every time there is a racial incident, I am sad because all the hard work to end racial tension has gone to waste and relationships have been set back 100 years. What happened here? This young man was off the grid, under the radar. No one could have foreseen that he would take the gun purchased in April, join the Bible study for an hour, and then begin shooting the participants. With a mind so far gone, this kid would have found other ways to kill black people had a gun not been available. I reiterate...I don't understand. This kid was completely off balance and there was no way to assess the gravity of his hatred, and now it is way too late.

Rest in Peace, Skooty Dog

My boss sent me a message that her dog passed away last night. I remember meeting Skooty when he was a small warm bundle of fur. I dogsat for a night, taking him for a walk around the area, and discovering that grass made his feet itch. I fixed him ham and cheese for dinner and snuggled on the couch and watched movies. Later, we both tried to sleep, unsuccessfully because he had allergies and I was in a strange bed with a dog who was itching. My boss' husband passed almost two years ago and I like to think of Skooty romping at the feet of his best friend. I think my boss might be relieved that Skooty is gone. The past few months, Skooty had separation anxiety making leaving for work difficult. I rode last Friday and again on Tuesday. I trotted in half circles, around the full arena and in figure eights. I worked on keeping Hope's head straight and my hands still and my mouth shut so I wouldn't apologize for everything I did wrong. Constant apologies bother my instructor. My mother's aide attended a funeral service yesterday, so I helped Dad take care of my mother and we took a field trip to the nail salon. I could not attend hapkido classes the last three times, but was able to start again last night. It felt good to be back. Planning on going to kickfit after work. I wonder why elderly animals get skinny and don't seem to be able to maintain their weight. Dad is frail and skinny. Planning on a special meal and a few gifts for my husband on Sunday in celebration of Dad's Day.

My perceptions

Perhaps it's no coincidence that I just finished reading Karen Kinsbury's novel "Just Beyond the Clouds." In the novel, the main female character works with adults with Down Syndrome, teaching them life skills, with the hope that they will eventually be independent. The main male character resists the idea of the independence of his younger brother who has Downs. I now find myself in the same situation as the main male character. My friend wants to spread her wings and leave her group home and live in an apartment with three other women. She has not been successful in an apartment situation in the past. She consistently ended in the hospital and in another group home. I asked her some questions yesterday. "Can she fix herself lunch? How will she get her groceries? Is she responsible for cleaning the apartment?" She told me she can microwave dishes and fix canned soup. A van will take her to the grocery store. My friend can't walk well..is waiting for knee surgery. Will the pain prohibit her from taking a bus? In the book, Elle comments. "We monitor every step of the way. We don't just drop them off at their apartment and wish them luck." I want my friend to be successful in this new adventure, but I am concerned that she might not have developed enough maturity to deal with the dynamics of the women in her apartment. I feel that she has not been monitored, that she has not been prepared. Only my perceptions and of course I will assisst her in any way possible to help her become independent.

A Young Teen's Suicide

I was reading my facebook page when I came across an article in the Washington Post about a young girl who committed suicide by jumping off a highway bridge. She was 13 years old. The police say "She made poor choices." Who among us has not made a poor choice? I certainly have made a plethora of poor choices. I read that this young girl was desperately unhappy, writing that in the midst of all the students at the school, she felt lonely. I know that feeling too. In the midst of a crowd, I feel the loneliest. I understand that she had written suicide notes blaming only herself for her poor choices. Teens face so much pressure--self esteem issues, acceptance from peers, meeting the expectations of their parents, excelling in school and extra curricular activities. This young life ended before it began--13 years old. My heart is heavy at the loss of this young life. I can't help her, but I can be more understanding of the self centered, noisy, making more work for me young people that come into the store. I can take more to heart my mentally ill friend's words, "I want to run away." I will spend more time with elderly people who have seen all their friends and family pass away. Rest in Peace, Little One. 2002-2015

Lazy day

I had the day off today because the branch store manager is on vacation and beginning tomorrow, I have to work eight days straight. I got up early, drove off to church services, came home and made scrambled eggs and a bagel for breakfast. I made tuna pasta salad and sloppy joes for later, cleaned up the kitchen and took the dogs around the field. We went into the woods on the path closest to the school. I came home and was sitting when I heard a noise like raindrops. It was not raining outside. No, the window on the storm door was cracking into a zillion little pieces. My husband attributed the break to temperature extremes. I cleaned up the glass shards, in the window, on the porch and sidewalk and on the mulch under the outdoor spigot.

If only there had been an intervention

I read a very sad story yesterday. A young teacher drove to work, climbed out of her van, locked the car, forgetting that her young baby daughter was safely strapped into her carseat. The mother taught all day, no doubt celebrating that the end of the school year was Friday, and that she could spend more time with her little daughter. How horrified she was when she came out to her van to discover that her little girl had died due to the extreme temperatures in the car. Was the baby in the car because her mom planned to drop her off at daycare? Was she going to visit the school for the day? An end of the year treat? Why couldn't this mom have gotten a timely message, an intervention if you will, so that she could have rushed to the van in time to save her daughter? In the case of the house washed away down the river last month, why couldn't have someone knocked on the door evacuating the families and saving eight lives? About the sightseeing boat that capsized on the Yangtze river killing over 400 people. What if something had detained the boat so that it wasn't at the critical point in the river? How can people be on such a collision course with disaster, both with other people and with nature? I remember sitting in the car in the bank parking lot, waiting for my husband to finish his business. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the car next to me begin to slowly back up. The driver was still in the bank. I hopped out of the car and held the other vehicle until the owner came out, saving the car from crashing into the cars at the bottom of the hill. Many times, people have intervened in my or my family's life. I was lost in Chicago and a woman showed me the way. Many years ago, when my daughter was a toddler she opened the front door and unbeknownst to us went down the street. Two young girls brought her to our neighbor's house and our neighbors brought her home.

A cruise on the Detroit Princess

My husband and I received two tickets for a dinner cruise on the Detroit Princess. A wonderful experience. Friendly helpful people in Detroit, a delicious buffet dinner, a spectacular cruise under the Ambassador bridge and floating past the Windsor and Detroit city scape.