Lockdown

Today marks one week in lockdown.  I have been sheltering in place except for a walk with the dogs around the school fields most every day.  I have been grieving the loss of Lenten and Easter services, work at the flower shop and watching my three year old and five month old grandchildren grow up.  I react to trauma with what I call a "deer in the headlights" response.  I am frozen in place.  Like most people dealing with trauma, I have happy stretches of time and windows of time when I feel sadness.  Music is an important part of my life, but I only began to sing again three days ago. This morning I got out my lap dulcimer after not playing for ages.  I had to read how to tune the dulcimer because I had forgotten.  I try to use our food and paper products in the most efficient way possible, that is, absolutely no waste.  I have roasted a turkey, fashioned turkey croquettes, and a Dutch apple pie with graham cracker crust.  The baby wasn't here to eat bananas and they overripened.  I used them to make banana bread.  I have been sorting in the basement.  I talk to my husband and we watch TV and he paints on his tablet and I play word games on my tablet.  I am so grateful for the  company of my animals and for this journal as I cope with completely new and life changing circumstances.