Proactivity

I was tired last night but discovered that I couldn't sleep. I had a lot on my mind, but the real reason was that I had chocolate ice cream (theobromine in the chocolate always keeps me awake) and had nibbled way too long into the evening. I was uncomfortable and my thoughts were circling. So much sadness. Mulled over the premature deaths of so many, young and old. A woman in Texas who died from flesh eating bacteria after hurricane Harvey. The 2 year old grand baby of a State Senator who drowned over the weekend. Young woman who died in a car accident. Thought about the dire situation in Puerto Rico and how I can help. I am picking up my baby granddaughter after work and the house is near the apartment complex where my mother in law lived the last few years of her life. So of course, I thought of her. Sad that a young student removed the solar globe from the bottom of our drive. Worried about my elderly frail father who has a bad cold. Woke this morning, ate a healthy bowl of apple oatmeal, refrained from drinking coffee and headed off to work. I chose some flowers for baby to take to my former boss, who has now retired and is babysitting today. Proactivity is the word of the day.

Fearful of the unknown, unfamiliar and change

It has been a year since my mother passed away. Such a sad time last September. We had our family reunion at the State Park up north. All the family was together except for our oldest son. Walks along the beach, golf, miniature golf, grilled burgers and hot dogs over the fire, Mass outside. We were truly blessed. Nine of us together including a 3 month old baby girl. Good memories. Going on vacation is exhausting. Packing, setting up the trailer, gazebo and tent. Covering the tent with plastic to protect everone inside from rain. Unpacking, putting equipment away, cleaning the trailer and laundry. We have a bit of to-do list for the pop-up. I accidently put a three cornered tear in the vinyl so we need to patch it. The seat back rest was stapled and the staples didn't hold. One of the support poles needs to be made shorter. We celebrated my birthday with a pizza party and ice cream sundaes and some prosecco. We hadn't visited with my dad in two weeks because we were on vacation and then he went camping. We made dinner and chatted with him last night. He talked to his brother and sister in Florida and everyone is fine. I wish I wasn't afraid of everything. Where did I get this timidity? It's fear of the unfamiliar and the unknown and change.