A 90th birthday adventure

My dad will be 90 on July 3rd, and my brother, sister and I are doing our best to give him the vacation trip of his dreams--a trip to visit "Four Corners," the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, The Redwoods, the area west of the Rockies. My brother, who is 61 years young today is requesting time off work to go with my dad on the big birthday adventure. My dad is buying a new 14' trailer, dinette table that can stay up, lav, and two bunk beds. My sister has offered to take care of my brother's four dogs, one who has to be leashed. She said it will be easier to take her own dog to her son's home. I have written down the care schedule for my mother, noting when there are areas that need covering. In order to make this trip happen, we need lots of help. Everyone has to step up to the plate and pitch in. My dad is a love and this trip to rest, relax, experience new adventures will rejuvenate him. Now my dad and brother argue like an old married couple. Mother is disturbed that he is leaving her for three weeks, but this can be her special birthday gift to the man she has been married to for almost 69 years. And she will be well taken care of. So I'm hoping we can make my dad's dream come true.

Sun and fun

Early days yet, but the sun is shining, a driver drove with his convertible top down, and I saw two children in shorts! My soul is singing! More than warm temperatures, it is the sun that lift my spirits. Clear days here, while the DC area is getting buried with snow. My daughter measured 18 inches, with a possible 10 more! I had a mammo on Wednesday and am waiting for the results. If the test comes back clear, I am set for a year. I continue to work with the diabetic support group and am making steady progress. The program began the week before Christmas, and as I had guests and attended a get-together, I didn't make any strides. Things have stabilized, and I am walking and riding the health rider along with kickfit and martial arts classes, eating cleanly (veggies, lean meat and fish) and a bit of yogurt and fresh fruit. I wish I could convince my husband to participate with me, but I can't. I record the food that I eat on two sites and participate in the discussions and skill modules. I've lost some weight and my blood pressure is normal. My niece, who helps my parents on Sunday is on vacation, so my sister and I are sharing the care. Trying to figure out when I can exercise as it will be too dark to walk when I get home. Praying for the family of little 2 year old Noah who got lost and died in the woods near his home and for Joey Feeks who is fighting her cancer battle.

Working with my best friend

Today was a special treat. For many years, my friend and I worked the same shift at the flower shop. Then she had to have knee and cataract surgery, and now only works to fill in. But today was like old times. I was scheduled to work with her! I made salads and put together a bowl of raspberries and blueberries, and brought my decaf tea supply along with two cups into the store. It is a snowy, bitter, windy, cold day here, and what better way to warm up than to share a cup of tea. The store was busy, but we still shared confidences and laughter. Such a blessing to work with my dear friend.

Decisions about elderly parents

I guess when parents are near 90, there is always an issue. As my dad's physical health deteriorates, he needs more assistance with my mother. He hopes to have an aide in the late evening to help get her settled in bed. He is not sure what to do. I offered to help settle her for the night, but my dad didn't like the idea. He worries that if something happened to him, my mother would be stuck. She would be, but only for a limited time as aides come in the morning. He suggested an alarm, but my mother would not know to activate it, so I don't think it would work. I've wondered for some time now how much time my dad actually interacts with my mother. Does he sit down and chat? I really don't think so, because he has worn himself out doing care, and doesn't have the energy. If he doesn't interact that much, then perhaps it is time to consider a group home or assisted care for my mother. I am trying to remain peaceful, but every non-eventful day now is a gift.

Taking action for an infected surgical wound

On Dec 16, my doctor removed something from my leg that I found out later was a dermatofibroma. These are deep growths so I had a bit of a crater in my leg. My husband commented that "it looks like you've been shot!" The healing progressed normally for 2 weeks. The wound was protected by several scabs. However when the scabs fell off, the wound began to get infected. It was red and tender, oozing a smelly discharge and not healing. Fortunately, it was no more painful than usual and there was no streaking. My husband punctured his finger on the thorn of a Russian Olive tree and the wound became infected. He had to have a shot of antibiotic and a tetanus booster. I decided to try to clean the wound with antibacterial soap containing benzalkonium chloride and to put hot compresses on it. I protected it with a bandage. I stopped at the clinic the next morning, but could not be seen and made an appointment for today (Sat). Happily the wound began to respond to the antibacterial soap and compresses and began to heal again. Encouraged I canceled my appointment at the clinic as the site is mostly closed, there is little pain, and the redness is decreasing. I feel so fortunate that we had benzalkonium chloride in our house and that I had the good sense to use it and cover the wound with a bandage. Sometimes I wish I had more medical knowledge. I am glad that I realized that my leg was getting infected and took action.

The Life I Live by Rory Feeks

Yesterday I wanted to know how Joey Feeks was doing. She is dying from cancer. Happily she was feeling good and spent Christmas with her husband, daughters and extended family. Her husband, Rory Feeks writes on his blog, "The Life I Live." Each blog is headed by a photo with Rory's thoughts underneath. His most recent blog concerns the fears that Joey confronted in the last few weeks. The photos are beautiful, Rory's thoughts honest and thought provoking. My wish for this family, their friends, and all their fans...that they may find peace in the difficult days ahead. I know when my mother was in rehab, my siblings and I were at odds over her treatment, my father was feeling stressed that, though feeling peaceful did not change any of the issues and difficulties, it did make coping much easier.

"I want to give you something."

Everyone on this earth is carrying a burden, dealing with issues, trying to cope. We cope in different ways...turn our problems over to a higher force, meditate, run away from them, hoping life's difficulties will not catch up with us. A few weeks before Christmas as I was mulling over keeping the cost of Christmas down, I read that it is not my job to make someone else happy. How free this realization made me! And today I read that everyone holds the key to happiness in their own pocket. My husband, dad and brother are not happy people. My husband and dad are bored and need some spice in their lives, and my brother is dealing with a difficult marital situation. My husband and I were having a discussion the other day and he told me that he "wants to give me something." I was rather taken aback and commented, "I have everything I need. I have you." One of my favorite Christmas season pasttimes was to sit with my husband and watch "happy ever after" Christmas movies. I enjoy visiting with my Mother and Dad on Tuesday afternoon and remembering the good old days. I am happy walking my dogs either around the field and through the woods or around the neighborhood. I like looking at the colors of their dog sweaters and new harnesses, Pudges sweet puppy face and Maui's silky fly away ears. I spend Sunday morning regrouping at a church service. I am happy when I can help customers at the flower shop and I get endomorphins when I participate in hapkido, ride my horses or attend kickfit classes. Did my husband mean he wants to give me a material gift, something to be bought or did he mean he wants to share a meal out or do an activity together?